Everyone wants to find the chemistry that connects two people when they first meet. My question is: what happens after that chemistry is found? Do you stop there and try to expand that relationship, or do you continue searching for others? I found out that most of these online people do not want the chemistry after is found; it is just the thrill of finding it. Then, it becomes a head game, trying to find out how many people they can get. Meanwhile, they are hurting others with this game, not having any concern about the person they just met. In addition, when they find themselves too deep into some sort of unwanted relationship, and they decide that is time to break it up, their excuse would be something like this: “I was seeing someone while back and now he/she wants to renew our relationship again, and I decided to give it another try.” Have you experienced something like this? How easy it is to break someone's heart!
I haven't met anyone yet that produces that 'chemistry' in me. When I do I hope she never gets away. I have met some really nice, wonderful and beautiful ladies. Some have liked me more than I like them, but this is life. We each get in too deep before the feelings are mutual.
I think this internet dating is backward dating. We meet online and write, IM, chat and talk on the phone. Then we meet.
In real life you see someone and then talk.
So with online relationships we make a connection and develop feelings before we know if the chemistry and spark will be there when we meet them.
Big_John: I haven't met anyone yet that produces that 'chemistry' in me. When I do I hope she never gets away. I have met some really nice, wonderful and beautiful ladies. Some have liked me more than I like them, but this is life. We each get in too deep before the feelings are mutual.
I think this internet dating is backward dating. We meet online and write, IM, chat and talk on the phone. Then we meet.
In real life you see someone and then talk.
So with online relationships we make a connection and develop feelings before we know if the chemistry and spark will be there when we meet them.
soooo true. I think it pays not to chat for too long as a bond can be formed and expectations can then be too high when a date finally eventuates
Personally I cannot agree with you on this.. Although I am not seeking anyone now.. I was, and had for a good number of years.. I had found, that a LOT of prospective women I dated WANTED "chemistry" and for 'things" to work.. I even found that when things were "borderline", or even "not quite".. MANY did not care, and were willing to "settle".. I'm no expert, and just my opinion.. but if I had to "classify" my experience at "date" sites.. I'd say MOST are lonly, serious, and ready.. a few are scammers, players, and users.. a small percentage of your basic "professionals".. and a smidgen of fun seekers and the promiscuious.(sp). I am sorry to hear you have had such bad luck and hurt... MAYBE.. if YOU were more "selective" in your choices AND did some homework (background check/proof, etc.) you could avoid the 'troubles' you lament about.. AND.. BTW.. If you send me your credit card numbers.. I'll have "mr. Perfect/ Prince charming at your house PRONTO..!! ---SoldierByte---
I totally agree. Sometimes, chatting online and talking on the phone can give you a bogus impression of feelings that in reality don't exist. Then, when the time comes to meet face to face, we realize that there is no chemistry, or that we don't like the way the other person is, or looks. I believe that we should meet face to face first, and if we click, then we can establish a verbal communication where we can talk explicitly about any topic we like or choose, either online or phone.
Big_John: I haven't met anyone yet that produces that 'chemistry' in me. When I do I hope she never gets away. I have met some really nice, wonderful and beautiful ladies. Some have liked me more than I like them, but this is life. We each get in too deep before the feelings are mutual.
I think this internet dating is backward dating. We meet online and write, IM, chat and talk on the phone. Then we meet.
In real life you see someone and then talk.
So with online relationships we make a connection and develop feelings before we know if the chemistry and spark will be there when we meet them.
The chemistry part of meeting someone seems to have eleuded me for some many years....it's been a long long time since I have had that with someone....I look forward to the day should that ever happen to me again....
RLML48: Everyone wants to find the chemistry that connects two people when they first meet. My question is: what happens after that chemistry is found? Do you stop there and try to expand that relationship, or do you continue searching for others? I found out that most of these online people do not want the chemistry after is found; it is just the thrill of finding it. Then, it becomes a head game, trying to find out how many people they can get. Meanwhile, they are hurting others with this game, not having any concern about the person they just met. In addition, when they find themselves too deep into some sort of unwanted relationship, and they decide that is time to break it up, their excuse would be something like this: “I was seeing someone while back and now he/she wants to renew our relationship again, and I decided to give it another try.” Have you experienced something like this? How easy it is to break someone's heart!
I've been through many things like this, and yes, for some the hunt is the thrill, not the prize once found. Those people need to take up something like parachuting, I think...then maybe once the need for a thrill is being satisfied, maybe they can settle into a relationship.
I also think that although chemistry is important, that if you like someone enough you can make the chemistry happen too. If all is compatible between two people, and they find each other attractive, I think it's possible to have a very happy relationship if you decide to do so.
very true..people should go on dates without any type of expections and see what could happen. I feel that chatting and talking on the phone should be limited, at least, until after the meeting.
serene56: soooo true. I think it pays not to chat for too long as a bond can be formed and expectations can then be too high when a date finally eventuates
RLML48: I totally agree. Sometimes, chatting online and talking on the phone can give you a bogus impression of feelings that in reality don't exist. Then, when the time comes to meet face to face, we realize that there is no chemistry, or that we don't like the way the other person is, or looks. I believe that we should meet face to face first, and if we click, then we can establish a verbal communication where we can talk explicitly about any topic we like or choose, either online or phone.
I agree to a certain extent with this, but I have chatted online with a lot of people and never felt a definite connection with anyone.Yes I've made some good friends and had a laugh but no instant chemistry so to speak. So what happens if and when you do begin chatting with someone and there is an instant, indescribable sense of just having clicked...Do you keep chatting knowing that you will meet and it may all be an illusion, or do you just dismiss it as an impossibility as if you have not met in RL it can't be real?
scousedonLiverpool, Cheshire, England UK1,643 posts
solsticemoon: I agree to a certain extent with this, but I have chatted online with a lot of people and never felt a definite connection with anyone.Yes I've made some good friends and had a laugh but no instant chemistry so to speak. So what happens if and when you do begin chatting with someone and there is an instant, indescribable sense of just having clicked...Do you keep chatting knowing that you will meet and it may all be an illusion, or do you just dismiss it as an impossibility as if you have not met in RL it can't be real?
Englishman55Salisbury, Wiltshire, England UK6,405 posts
solsticemoon: I agree to a certain extent with this, but I have chatted online with a lot of people and never felt a definite connection with anyone.Yes I've made some good friends and had a laugh but no instant chemistry so to speak. So what happens if and when you do begin chatting with someone and there is an instant, indescribable sense of just having clicked...Do you keep chatting knowing that you will meet and it may all be an illusion, or do you just dismiss it as an impossibility as if you have not met in RL it can't be real?
Surely chemistry is what you feel once you meet. Chatting on the phone/e-mail etc can form a bond of closeness, but it's the real fireworks associated (or not) with that first meeting !
Englishman55: Surely chemistry is what you feel once you meet. Chatting on the phone/e-mail etc can form a bond of closeness, but it's the real fireworks associated (or not) with that first meeting !
I think you can get it through the email. As long as you are both being truly serious. That's why sometimes it's almost nicer talking to someone with no pic at first to see if you can fall in "deep like" with their mind!!!
Englishman55: Surely chemistry is what you feel once you meet. Chatting on the phone/e-mail etc can form a bond of closeness, but it's the real fireworks associated (or not) with that first meeting !
Well thats what I always believed ..but lately I've been knocked for six..just waiting for the fireworks to start!
I believe that chemistry has to be part of a relationship to be able to work. After talking or chatting for months, you meet that person face to face and to find out that he/she is not what you thought of or imagine. I know that this has happened to many people. They felt a connection through their words and it was a disappointment after they met. It happens!
RLML48: I believe that chemistry has to be part of a relationship to be able to work. After talking or chatting for months, you meet that person face to face and to find out that he/she is not what you thought of or imagine. I know that this has happened to many people. They felt a connection through their words and it was a disappointment after they met. It happens!
I'm sure it does happen..but my original question was.. if we feel an instant connection with someone (after being quite experienced in this online chatting game and never having felt it before)..do we pursue it in the belief that something good may finally be around the corner or dismiss it as it can't be real as it's only an online connection? I think that there are a lot of people that have met online and some even ended up married so we cannot possibly dismiss it.
Don't dismiss anything until you get the facts...meet face to face which is the real deal, and you'll never know who he/she is until that moment.
solsticemoon: I'm sure it does happen..but my original question was.. if we feel an instant connection with someone (after being quite experienced in this online chatting game and never having felt it before)..do we pursue it in the belief that something good may finally be around the corner or dismiss it as it can't be real as it's only an online connection? I think that there are a lot of people that have met online and some even ended up married so we cannot possibly dismiss it.
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I found out that most of these online people do not want the chemistry after is found; it is just the thrill of finding it.
Then, it becomes a head game, trying to find out how many people they can get. Meanwhile, they are hurting others with this game, not having any concern about the person they just met. In addition, when they find themselves too deep into some sort of unwanted relationship, and they decide that is time to break it up, their excuse would be something like this: “I was seeing someone while back and now he/she wants to renew our relationship again, and I decided to give it another try.”
Have you experienced something like this? How easy it is to break someone's heart!