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Just to say....being on CS is like being at a masked ball where you never ever really get to know who anybody is.Or maybe it,s The Wizard of Oz....there,s the Lionman,Tinman,Strawman....Alice in Wonderland,the Mad Hatter and co.......or Gone with the Wind...or all of those mixed into one.It,s like a kind of suspended reality,yes,that,s it,a reality tv programme where everybody is some sort of grotesque caricature of their normal self,or maybe some people are even greater horrors in their real life than they are here (I can think of quite a few candidates for that particular litmus test).
There really are all sorts of people here,from the amazingly stupid to the incredibly intelligent,from the downright nasty to out and out kindness,and the problem is that a lot of the time I,m not sure who is who.And right in the middle of that gamut of virtual humanity,somewhere,is me.Tis not for me to say where I am,I,ll leave that for others to judge and decide for themselves.
Of course,neither is Elley me,Elley is just some figment of an overactive imagination,lines on a screen,a conversion from keyboard touches through hexi and binary code to what.....? I really don,t know.For sure tis not me,not the real me,whoever that is.
I see a lot of strange things here....none of any of you are real,and yet....tis wierd....really most wierd....I see a lot of sadness,even amongst those who appear the strongest, a deep,profoundly felt longing,a yearning,to mean something to somebody,somebody beyond a mere computer screen.I too long to reach out,to put my arms around another,to try to hold on to something physical,a tender loving touch that says I,m happy to...just to be with you for this moment,a moment to last... forever....Some may see these words as Mills and Boon pap,whatever,make of them what you will.
I,ve never seen anybody here who lives just around the corner, someone I can pop in and see is real,I guess you can do that in say Malta.Or maybe even though you can you simply don,t bother.
I,m thankful for the people here who have made a difference to my perspectives,I won,t mention names in case I forget somebody and cause offence.
And so now I go,to write music,to study and practice (oh so many things)to spend time with my family and friends and even to enjoy a glass or two of a nice red.....
These last few days I have seen the good ship CS pass through turbulent waters,and even though now all is calmer,I have to say that I have been appalled by some of the things I have seen,
things I really want no part of.
For all of the above and so much more besides,I have decided tis time to go.I live in hope of meeting somebody and maybe I will or maybe I won,t.Who knows,maybe I have already "met" that person and just don,t know it yet.If I remain alone,so be it,I am my own best company,and I hope you all are too. If I find myself in your neck of the woods,for sure I,ll be tempted to look you up.Be good you people and most of all,be lucky.
PS;I,ll leave my profile up a day or two for anyone who wishes to say a personal adios.
Adios all.