Just a question for everyone (21)

Hi Sweet Russian:
You sound absolutely wonderful and don`t you change a bit. There are still women out there that want and need a man like you, myself included.
After many years of very bad men my 25 year old daughter found a wonderful man like you. How? She stopped looking and he came into her life. The same thing happened to my girlfriend. Everyone tells me that when you are looking too hard for that special someone that you won`t find them.
All I have to say is there truly are women that want a man like you so don`t settle and definately stay positive.
Maybe both of us should stop looking and that special someone will come into our lives.
Regards:)

Exactly!

My buddy, he claims to be "a nice guy" and for years has moaned how no woman wants "nice guys." How we are friends sometimes I wonder as I usually eat up guys like him and spit them out; he doesn't usually attract to aggressive females but hey we are friends and there you are. So back to this concept of nice guy. This particular nice guy, he's living with his parents in his basement and doesn't plan to move out. He's not 16, he's over 40yrs old. He has no ambitions in life. He has a good heart, a caring nature and honestly, he could be a good man for the right woman ... if he would simply grow up. He's heard it all from me, I'm not quiet when he asks my opinion and now, he doesn't ask because he knows the answer. He isn't attracting women because they "want the bad boy", he's not attracting women because he's very dependent upon his parents for all his needs - that's simply unattractive.

Or how about another male acquaintance that I met up with, through a friend and he claimed to be a nice guy that cannot attract the women. The guy was a dishrag, I think he had zero self-esteem and self-worth. Oh he pulled out the chair, he spoke soft words, he said the right things and gosh darn, he wouldn't have sworn if a gun was to his head. He had no inner strength. I said boo and he was under the table quivering. I asked his opinion, he wouldn't answer until he knew where I stood, then simply repeated my words. Eh. He lasted about 15 minutes then my friends told me to "play nice." Serious though, what a dishrag. No one is a "nice guy" who has no sense of self, no inner strength and holds expectations that the girlfriend will fill all his needs. Bah. That's not a nice guy, that's someone who seriously needs help.

Or as mentioned, the guys that come across as sweethearts, they are such nice guys, they are always there for you, they are kind, generous, caring and think you are the centre of the universe. Then, once the grooming is complete, they bash you in the head and stomp all over your soul. Outwards even community members speak of how "caring" and how "nice" this guy is, "why doesn't he have a partner, he has so much to offer." They don't see what happens when the doors close. Those guys aren't so nice, its simply a cover.

I met a nice guy, only some would have labelled him a "bad boy" and trust me in his day, he was. He'd use women, toss them aside and move on....still deep within was a core of respect, compassion and caring towards women. He was upfront and honest, all women knew where he stood when they dated him. I was fortunate to meet him after he grew up from the wild young man he had been. Nice doesn't mean soft words and quiet voices, doing all for her - nice is being nice to self, being honest to self, standing up for self and being secure in self. That's nice. The rest is simply icing. (and I hope you all know what I mean by that)

So...I went on and on, the thing is, this whole "I'm a nice guy why don't women want me" or "I'm a nice woman, why don't men date me" (and the collective, "all they want is a bad boy/girl") really ticks me off. To me I hear excuses after excuses without any plans to really explore self to see, what is it that truly is turning people off. So I tell my buddies, look within and like my first example, he has...and he's working on change. Good for him. Because he is a "nice guy" but until he stands solid on his own two feet, he'll simply be a "nice guy that lives in his parents basement."

.....but....she might be coming up those bleachers to watch the game, trips and falls into your life. I'm just saying......

...................



I have been single for a long time, it's life. Doesn't mean I'm not a good person or as you word it, a nice person, it means life stepped in and it is what it is. You've really only allowed yourself 1.5yrs and in my life, that's peanuts. I understand viewing the dating world as upside-down, you were out of the circuit for 10yrs. Then self-isolated for another 2yrs. It's really not that different - people meet, connect or not connect, move on or stay. Sometimes the music creates a different dance, doesn't mean the crowd has changed - just that the dance has evolved into something new. Embrace the newness. Get out there and meet people, talk to the woman sitting on the bus bench while you are waiting for the bus. So what if she's 75yrs old, she might have a granddaughter who is perfect for you. Talk with people while standing in line at the grocery store. Chatter it up at the post office. Go camping and sit at the beach, talk with people who sit near you or while walking around, chatter to those around the campfires. It's amazing the adventure you'll go on, by simply dropping the list of qualities that you hold and getting out there, enjoying life and not worrying if Ms Right is there. At least that's how I live my life and hey, being single is pretty darn cool. Embrace it. And then, your niceness will shine through and hey, you just never know, she might be right there waiting to meet you the next time you buy a jug of milk.

You are only young, give it some time. You are just fine the way you are and although I am much older, I will tell you that we all USED to go for the bad guy but no way for me!!! I LOVE being treated nicely and spoiling the man.

I always did and I always will spoil them and just lately it is turning out to be a banner year for me.

If i was your mother, I would say Ruski, you have to visit the nurses at hospitals and old people homes, that is where the girls are who do not like bad boys are. Also please donate blood to RED CROSS< Thanks.