School Blues ( Archived) (19)

Jan 15, 2010 5:54 AM CST School Blues
mightyknight
mightyknightmightyknightkingston, Kingston Jamaica2 Threads 18 Posts
My daughter keeps saying she does not want to go to school citing varied reasons. I try to motivate her but it continues. I would like some suggestions.
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Jan 15, 2010 6:17 AM CST School Blues
sleepin_bird
sleepin_birdsleepin_birdVilvoorde, Flemish Brabant Belgium167 Posts
mightyknight: My daughter keeps saying she does not want to go to school citing varied reasons. I try to motivate her but it continues. I would like some suggestions.


It's a bit hard to advise without knowing more about the situation... how old is she, what are the excuses she uses...?
Did you already talk to someone at her school to see if there are any serious issues, like bullying, are going on?

Good luck; hope you'll find the way to motivate her.

cheers
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Jan 15, 2010 6:26 AM CST School Blues
longhairedwoman
longhairedwomanlonghairedwomanRiverhead, New York USA3 Threads 1 Polls 187 Posts
Like the previous poster said, we need more information. How old is she, what grade, does she have any friends that attend the same school, what are her interests, what is she good at, etc.

Try talking to her teacher(s) to see if you can find an ally in school. A child needs to feel like they have a valued life at school in order to look forward to going every day.
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Jan 15, 2010 7:02 AM CST School Blues
mightyknight
mightyknightmightyknightkingston, Kingston Jamaica2 Threads 18 Posts
She is ten and claims that students pick on her, she wants to go to school with me (I go to school). She fears punishment for wrongdoing, she has problems with her friends....
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Jan 15, 2010 8:00 AM CST School Blues
LusciousLibra
LusciousLibraLusciousLibraTramore, Waterford Ireland28 Threads 2 Polls 1,870 Posts
mightyknight: She is ten and claims that students pick on her, she wants to go to school with me (I go to school). She fears punishment for wrongdoing, she has problems with her friends....


That's not at all unusual, not wanting to go to school, occasionally that is.

I would recommend you go to the school and talk to her teacher(s) and to the school head. Nip whatever the problem is in the bud, now.

Your daughter is at an age where being bullied and harassed will mark her confidence for the future.
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Jan 15, 2010 9:19 AM CST School Blues
sleepin_bird
sleepin_birdsleepin_birdVilvoorde, Flemish Brabant Belgium167 Posts
LusciousLibra: That's not at all unusual, not wanting to go to school, occasionally that is.

I would recommend you go to the school and talk to her teacher(s) and to the school head. Nip whatever the problem is in the bud, now.

Your daughter is at an age where being bullied and harassed will mark her confidence for the future.


thumbs up

Well said... she's also just a little girl and pushing her too hard will probably do her more harm than good as well.
Since you're going to school; talk to her about what motivates you and about your own experiences; stay positive.
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Jan 15, 2010 9:26 AM CST School Blues
Boban1
Boban1Boban1bigplace, Central Serbia Serbia144 Threads 5 Polls 18,789 Posts
mightyknight: My daughter keeps saying she does not want to go to school citing varied reasons. I try to motivate her but it continues. I would like some suggestions.

Smart kid...grin
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Jan 15, 2010 9:29 AM CST School Blues
patmac
patmacpatmacglasgow, Strathclyde, Scotland UK730 Threads 6 Polls 9,662 Posts
sleepin_bird: Well said... she's also just a little girl and pushing her too hard will probably do her more harm than good as well.
Since you're going to school; talk to her about what motivates you and about your own experiences; stay positive.
You could have a quiet chat with the parents of other kids in your daughters school, they may have an idea what is going on at the school, you do not need to mention your daughters problem. Often other parents are in the same predicament as you and don't know who to ask. It may be only one or two kids causing the problem. Talk to the parents quietly most will help. thumbs up
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Jan 15, 2010 9:37 AM CST School Blues
bettyboop63
bettyboop63bettyboop63glasgow, Strathclyde, Scotland UK61 Threads 2,036 Posts
In response to: My daughter keeps saying she does not want to go to school citing varied reasons. I try to motivate her but it continues. I would like some suggestions.


im sorry to hear this MK..but you really need to speak to the school an get this nipped in the bud ASAP...dont just take the schools word for it make sure you see the help they offer my daughter was bullied really bad in her school the schools way of dealing with it was to keep her in lunchtimes an playtimes making her feel as though it was her at fault she stopped going to school at 14 and I as soon as she turned 16 the school washed their hands of the matter but my daughter started self harming as a coping mechanism whilst it was going on and still continues to do so when her self esteem is low...she is now 22 please dont let it go on ask her friends ..their parents anyone who may be able to help her bullying can scar a child for life I wish you and your child all the best and hope things turn out ok ...hug
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Jan 15, 2010 10:29 AM CST School Blues
mylifewithu
mylifewithumylifewithuSpringfield, Missouri USA174 Threads 23,670 Posts
bettyboop63: im sorry to hear this MK..but you really need to speak to the school an get this nipped in the bud ASAP...dont just take the schools word for it make sure you see the help they offer my daughter was bullied really bad in her school the schools way of dealing with it was to keep her in lunchtimes an playtimes making her feel as though it was her at fault she stopped going to school at 14 and I as soon as she turned 16 the school washed their hands of the matter but my daughter started self harming as a coping mechanism whilst it was going on and still continues to do so when her self esteem is low...she is now 22 please dont let it go on ask her friends ..their parents anyone who may be able to help her bullying can scar a child for life I wish you and your child all the best and hope things turn out ok ...
thumbs up Yep bullying really hurt my gifted son as well. But thankfully now that he has turned 24 he has decided to try college. Bullying kept him from wanting to go to college until now. I am just glad he has finally decided to be brave again and go for more education..wave hug
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Jan 15, 2010 1:35 PM CST School Blues
mightyknight
mightyknightmightyknightkingston, Kingston Jamaica2 Threads 18 Posts
Thank you all for your advice. I also had problems with bullies at school. Even though it did no permanent harm I still wished I could see some of those to give them a sound thrashing. In fact bulies were the reason I took up self defence. Now its affecting my daughter. There may be as some of you said some other underkying problems that needs to be deakt with as soon as possible. Thank you all for your kind words of advice.
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Jan 15, 2010 7:51 PM CST School Blues
mightyknight: My daughter keeps saying she does not want to go to school citing varied reasons. I try to motivate her but it continues. I would like some suggestions.
I did not think you mentioned her age. I am a single mom of four. I would like to help if I can. I hope it all works out.handshake
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Jan 15, 2010 8:35 PM CST School Blues
BlainX
BlainXBlainXmansfield, Ohio USA205 Threads 188 Polls 1,424 Posts
heatherhuntsman: I did not think you mentioned her age. I am a single mom of four. I would like to help if I can. I hope it all works out.


My dad always said to me You see that boot in the corner, it could be in your _ SS!

laugh J/K
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Jan 15, 2010 8:41 PM CST School Blues
ninamil
ninamilninamilGoiania, Goias Brazil31 Threads 1 Polls 696 Posts
In response to: My daughter keeps saying she does not want to go to school citing varied reasons. I try to motivate her but it continues. I would like some suggestions.


tell her to make 2 list of what she - likes - and -dislike- in the school, help her doing it and then show her the positive side for her to stay in the school and always tell her how smart she is and that she is better then u when u were a student,she does things that were impossible to u and she does things by herself ... always review her lessons with her and go to her schol showing your interst in her grades...handshake
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Jan 15, 2010 10:06 PM CST School Blues
Witchaywoman
WitchaywomanWitchaywomanCarpentersville, Illinois USA97 Threads 13 Polls 4,344 Posts
BlainX: My dad always said to me You see that boot in the corner, it could be in your _ SS!

J/K


Was your dad Red forman? rolling on the floor laughing
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Jan 15, 2010 10:24 PM CST School Blues
Punky_Pink
Punky_PinkPunky_PinkAurora, Colorado USA2 Posts
My daughter tells me that she doesn't want to go to school...but I tell her she has to.

There is nothing really that you can tell a child that would motivate them other than telling them that they'll become very smart and achieve life long goals.

Trying to motivate a child to go to school is like trying to pull a tooth! It's hard but you have to continue and just tell them that they're doing a good job.

Maybe your daughter is having a problem with a kid at school and that's why she'll giving you all of these reasons why she doesn't want to go to school. Maybe she's scared that something bad will happen if she tells you that she's being bullied.

I could be completely wrong, but I would just keep doing what you're doing! Being a parent is the hardest thing I've ever had to do, but the trials and tribulations are worth every minute of having my girls!!

I wish you the best of luck and just let her know that she's a smart girl and she will do well in school once she finds her specialty!

:)
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Jan 15, 2010 10:36 PM CST School Blues
Kattsrose
KattsroseKattsroseKind of near Portsmouth, NH, New Hampshire USA52 Threads 4 Polls 911 Posts
If she has a favorite teacher at school that might be the first person to speak to.

There are plenty of things that can cause difficulties. Some might not seem like that big of a deal as adults but at ten can be huge.

It sounds like you respect your daughter so that is a good place to start.

Good luck, you'll figure it out.
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Jan 15, 2010 11:18 PM CST School Blues
I understand your daughter is ten. I have four kids and I have always been someone who is known at the school for volunteering etc. My oldest son who is nineteen now mentioned someone who said something to him, that hurt him. He was in kindergarden at the time I went directly to the child the next day. I told him what I would do if he did that again. I didn't think at the time, how I must have come across. I scared the little boy really bad. He never messed with my son and they actually became friends. I think I was wrong in how I handled it. I do think always staying in the solution. Maybe just taking one day to be at school. Talk directly to the bullies. I always told my kids to say " I would rather play something else, if you want to be friends then we can , I do not want to do whatever is wrong, but if you want to play another way then I will be your friend. Just have your daughter say I do not like the way you are behaving , if you want to play like basketball or kickball then we can have fun. Some kids need direction to just be told the right thing to do. Remember communication is key. Always listen and of course prayer seems to be an option here.comfort
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Jan 16, 2010 12:02 AM CST School Blues
lookin4ubabe
lookin4ubabelookin4ubabeTacoma, Washington USA5 Threads 1,135 Posts
mightyknight: My daughter keeps saying she does not want to go to school citing varied reasons. I try to motivate her but it continues. I would like some suggestions.


If she is really miserable you could try online schools now. They offer them for every age. Kind of expensive but it might be a good alternative.
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