The economy is so bad that.... ( Archived) (4)

The Economy is so bad that:

I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.

I ordered a burger at McDonald's and the kid behind the counter asked, "Can you afford fries with that?"

CEO's are now playing miniature golf.

If the bank returns your check marked Insufficient Funds, you call them and ask if they meant you or them.

Hot Wheels and Matchbox stocks are trading higher than GM.

McDonald's is selling the 1/4 ouncer.

Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children's names.

A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico

Motel Six won't leave the light on anymore.

The Mafia is laying off judges.

Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.

Congress says they are looking into this Bernard Madoff scandal. Oh Great!! The guy who made $50 Billion disappear is being investigated by the people who made $1.5 Trillion disappear!

And, finally...
I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Lifeline. I got a call center in Pakistan, and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and
asked if I could drive a truck!

Shucks!

I feel so guilty...... I'm still doing very well, but feel very sad for those who have lost their jobs and their homes etc.

It goes to prove that all we have is elusive and can be taken away at the snap of a finger, or an unexpected earthquake or a bus driver who sneezed and farted simulataneousy just before he saw you crossing the street - too late to stop and NOT mow you down into a rather large pile of 'roadkill'!

I digress.

I feel very, very happy..... life is just so good and the sun is shining and I can hear little birdies twittering the dawn chorus. Timmy the cat is sitting on the wall outside my window and glaring at me and sending telepthic messages saying:

"FEED ME! FEED YOU a**hole! FEED ME NOW!"

I think I'd better go feed the cat!