The fighting Irish ( Archived) (19)

: WAR BETWEEN IRELAND AND FRANCE AVERTED
Jacques Chirac, The French Prime Minister, was sitting in his office
wondering what kind of mischief he could perpetrate against the United
States when his telephone rang.

"Hallo, Mr. Chirac!", a heavily accented voice said. "This is Paddy Down
at the Harp Pub in County Sligo, Ireland. I am ringing to inform you that we
are officially declaring war on you!"
"Well, Paddy," Chirac replied, "This is indeed important news! How big is
your army?"
"Right now," said Paddy, after a moment's calculation, "there is myself,
me cousin Sean, me next door neighbour Seamus, and the entire dart team from
the pub. That makes eight!"
Chirac paused. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have one hundred thousand
men in my army waiting to move on my command."
"Begorra!" said Paddy. "I'll have to ring you back!" Sure enough, the
next day, Paddy called again. "Mr. Chirac, the war is still on. We have
managed to get us some infantry equipment!"
"And what equipment would that be, Paddy?" Chirac asked. "Well, we have
two combines, a bulldozer, and Murphy's farm tractor."
Chirac sighed, amused. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 6,000 tanks
and 5,000 armoured personnel carriers. Also, I've increased my army to one
hundred fifty thousand since we last spoke."
"Saints preserve us!" said Paddy. "I'll have to get back to you."
Sure enough, Paddy rang again the next day. "Mr. Chirac, the war is still
on!" We have managed to get ourselves airborne! We've modified Jackie
McLaughlin's ultra-light with a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and
four boys from the Shamrock Pub have joined us as well!"
Chirac was silent for a minute and then cleared his throat. "I must tell
you, Paddy, that I have 100 bombers and 200 fighter planes. My military
complex is surrounded by laser-guided surface-to-air missile sites. And
since we last spoke, I've increased my army to two hundred thousand!"
"Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!", said Paddy, "I'll have to ring you back."
Sure enough, Paddy called again the next day. "Top o' the morning', Mr.
Chirac! I am sorry to tell you that we have had to call off the war."
"I'm sorry to hear that," said Chirac. "Why the sudden change of heart?"
"Well," said Paddy, "we've all had a long chat over a bunch of pints, and
decided there's no foo-kin way we can feed two hundred thousand
prisoners.

That was great, just what I needed

In all honesty, why are the Irish renowned as the fighting Irish? We have all heard of whinging poms (England) but in my experience from travelling its the opposite. I'm Irish stock but Irish people whinge and whinge about whinging, what's your last name/where do you come from/what school did you go to? PARANOID, who cares?

Well I'm a JOCK

As you say your Irish stock and I cant see anyone whinging here only you ... So remember when you point the finger there are three pointing right back at ya ! .

OOOOOOOOO Have I started a pucn up???? the joke was not to bad.

I aint whinging damn it and damn you all, leave me alone or I'll cry then whinge and whinge again---- booooooo hoooooo, they are all out to get me, oh the injustice, poor meeeeeee

26+6 =one, who cares? said the pastor to the reverened