How do you trust men again??? (48)
NtxredCeleste, USA35 Threads 486 PostsI am new to this site... and just thought I would start this thread and see if I can get any good advice. I have been married twice, and was cheated on both times. My first husband is the father of my 3 children, and I caught him with my best friend, then took him back and he later left for the babysitter. The 2nd husband needed a heart transplant, and was in the nursing home, and got his nurse pregnant and is now married to her with a new baby. I have been divorced for a yr. this month, and I still find that I cant let myself get close to men. I date quite a bit, but when things start to progress, I tend to run. I am just wondering what ... if anything I can do to stop catergorizing all men as cheaters. I want to get rid of this trust issue I have. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
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I need to think about this one...but i just wanted to give you a hug in the mean time...
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thanks... this have really blown my self esteem to hell too
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Hi Ntxred, welcome here....
About your question. Maybe you need to learn to love and respect yourself first. Just a thought
About your question. Maybe you need to learn to love and respect yourself first. Just a thought
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thanks for the reply. I am learning to do that. My 2nd marriage was mentally abusive, and all about him. He was sick the whole 9 yrs. But.. I am learning to take time for myself. It is just very hard to include men without automatically expecting them to degrade me, or insult me at some point.
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I can make it simple for you try not to classify all men as being untrustworthy... you picked some loosers is all.
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Well,been there done that.Never again!It takes time & plenty of it.Just try to enjoy being you.Get out & do something you've always wanted to but never have.Before you can learn to trust again you have to trust yourself to know how to use both your heart & head when it comes to picking a man.You have to be in love with yourself before you can give it back to someone who is deserving of it.
I'm looking for Mr.Right,but I also realize that I have to be Mrs.Right also.Don't rush into anything.
I'm looking for Mr.Right,but I also realize that I have to be Mrs.Right also.Don't rush into anything.
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yeah.. i am good at picking the losers!!! lol
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Ntxred
First of all, Hello and welcome
Then, not to get all Dr. Phil on you - we just met ..but you teach people how to treat you....
Value the wonderfully unique and perfect woman you are and seek the one who will share that with you.
Don't settle for anything less..
First of all, Hello and welcome
Then, not to get all Dr. Phil on you - we just met ..but you teach people how to treat you....
Value the wonderfully unique and perfect woman you are and seek the one who will share that with you.
Don't settle for anything less..
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Mech is right not all men are the same 
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If any person is self centered then they will be looking out for number 1 and you will be treated like number 2.
Read the signs and get someone that is not out for themselves. Then you have a chance of not being cheated on if you do your part. You really need to learn about people. What makes them tick.
"When someone shows you their strength, you will see their weakness. When someone shows you their weakness, you will see their strength."
My words.
Read the signs and get someone that is not out for themselves. Then you have a chance of not being cheated on if you do your part. You really need to learn about people. What makes them tick.
"When someone shows you their strength, you will see their weakness. When someone shows you their weakness, you will see their strength."
My words.
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Thanks Crissy. I am doing just that. I leave in 2 weeks on a 7 day cruise... mmmm can't wait. I am going to Jamaica, Cozemel and the Grand Caymens. That should relax me a bit!!!
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Now I'm jealous!
Enjoy, it sounds like you deserve it.
You'll have to tell us all about it.
Enjoy, it sounds like you deserve it.
You'll have to tell us all about it.
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Great advice. by the way.. I love this site.. I joined like a week ago. Very nice people here.
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Welcome to CS My ex cheated on me as well and it's taken a lot of hard work and soul searching to be able to trust again. For me I found that it wasn't about trusting someone else, it was about trusting myself and my instincts. I ran away from things for a long time, the problem was that I was still there and in my own way. For me it was running away from my feelings and no matter where you are they're still there. I left my ex almost 13 years ago, but it took me 10 years of those 13 to figure it out. Start by looking within you for the answers and fix those things first.
I've learned that...Feelings are neither right nor wrong, they just are. Let yourself feel them, and you'll find that you'll be able to start letting go of the pain from the past.
My ex cheated on me as well and it's taken a lot of hard work and soul searching to be able to trust again. For me I found that it wasn't about trusting someone else, it was about trusting myself and my instincts. I ran away from things for a long time, the problem was that I was still there and in my own way. For me it was running away from my feelings and no matter where you are they're still there. I left my ex almost 13 years ago, but it took me 10 years of those 13 to figure it out. Start by looking within you for the answers and fix those things first. I've learned that...Feelings are neither right nor wrong, they just are. Let yourself feel them, and you'll find that you'll be able to start letting go of the pain from the past.
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It's difficult to get over being abused, but you can not hold on to negatives attitudes that will only hold you down.
Never expect a man to degrade you, just because you have experienced it before, move forward, put your head up, and know you have every right in the world to be treated right, in words, in emotions, mentally, and physically.
Maybe a year is too soon to be dating again, take time for you, and explore your uniqueness.
best wishes, and welcome.
......
....Angel....
Never expect a man to degrade you, just because you have experienced it before, move forward, put your head up, and know you have every right in the world to be treated right, in words, in emotions, mentally, and physically.
Maybe a year is too soon to be dating again, take time for you, and explore your uniqueness.
best wishes, and welcome.
......
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I think the question is how do you trust a women again?
Or maybe the question how do ever trust again?
To many of us have been there and nobody deservrs it.
For me what it came too was I did not cheat, I did not betray her and above all I did not dis hornor myself or my marrige. The truth is the only person we can trust is ourselfs and as long we do the right thing that is really what matters.
When i came to this conclusion the pain started to go away and helped with the moving on and if I am a good person that is all that matters in the end.
And I want to give you a hug too
Welcome and enjoy the show
Ron
Or maybe the question how do ever trust again?
To many of us have been there and nobody deservrs it.
For me what it came too was I did not cheat, I did not betray her and above all I did not dis hornor myself or my marrige. The truth is the only person we can trust is ourselfs and as long we do the right thing that is really what matters.
When i came to this conclusion the pain started to go away and helped with the moving on and if I am a good person that is all that matters in the end.
And I want to give you a hug too
Welcome and enjoy the show
Ron
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yea.. that is one thing that won't happen. I am not dating anyone in particular.. I just date randomly... I am DEFINATELY not ready for anything serious with anyone.
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Thanks Ron, I can use all the hugs I can get... and I am sending one back to you!!
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Created: Aug 2006
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