Maybe this will help someone. (long winded) ( Archived) (7)

Feb 12, 2010 2:45 PM CST Maybe this will help someone. (long winded)
Franco8274
Franco8274Franco8274Mountain Home, Idaho USA1 Threads 37 Posts
On February 1st 2008, my wife informed me that she was going to file for divorce. That was the day I died inside. Being dependent upon her for 35 years and then suddenly ripping herself from me was devastating. After a few weeks she reconsidered and told me she would work with me through the spring and summer in an attempt to reconcile. That was a life saver at the time. Things went well for a month, and then she went to Texas for her nephew's wedding. When she got back she told me that she was going to go ahead and divorce me.
I didn't put two and two together at that point so I continually took the blame for the failure to no avail. As time passed, I told her it was okay to begin to date. She had told myself and my two grown daughters that there wasn't another man involved, but her new friend wasn't new at all. The man had lost his wife two years prior and she took it upon herself to "help" him. I didn't know at the time, but he had given her several "gifts" of jewelry to "thank" her for her compassion and help.
What became obvious to me as the reason she wanted the divorce,(besides my responsibility) was when I was to go to my son's 10th birthday party. She decided to ban me from being there and instead, with the okay from my daughters, she invited her "friend" to come instead.
To make a long story shorter, 3 months after our divorce was finalized, they got married.
During the time after the divorce was finalized, I started having problems with my right foot and went to the VA Medical Center. I was told that my right toe was dying due to gangrene caused by Diabetes or some other reason. It finally progressed until a month after her wedding, I had my right leg amputated not once but twice. Two weeks after the first surgery, which was below the knee, I overdosed on the prescribed medication due to an interaction of two pain drugs, where I succumbed to renal failure and almost died. After two weeks it became obvious to the doctors that the first operation wasn't working. I then had another surgery to amputate above the knee.
For the next year I met with a psychiatrist and psychologist with very little relief, but then in December 2009, it seemed as though something clicked and things fell a little bit more into place and I was released from a VA Homeless Veterans Transitional Housing Program that I was in and moved back to my small hometown where my three children and 9 grandchildren and, my ex-wife live.
As of this moment, I have had much exposure to my ex and it seems that the things that I felt were going to kill me, now were tolerable. As a matter of fact, my ex invited me to their home on Christmas to watch my son open his presents from me and have brunch. Since then there's been contact on a frequent basis and although there were things done by both of them as far as infidelity, I've been able to set those things aside and become very amiable to both. Yes, it's difficult and there's still much pain and probably will be pain for a long time, but I can manage things that I never thought that I could.
I don't really know if this a bore or not but I'm putting this into words, not so much for someone else, but mainly for myself.

p.s. There should be no misunderstanding that I'm suggesting complete innocence in my wife's dissatisfaction with our marriage.
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Feb 12, 2010 3:01 PM CST Maybe this will help someone. (long winded)
roseofsharon
roseofsharonroseofsharonmanchester, Hampshire, England UK60 Threads 3 Polls 8,699 Posts
You needn't have put "(long winded)" in the title, Franco. That denotes it being a chore to read and, on the contrary, I found it very interesting.

You have clearly been pro-active, or at least have been seeking to overcome those obstacles you found so difficult in the beginning.

All credit to you, the progress you have made (with a little help, of course) appears to be, in the main, down to you and your positive attitude.

I hope you continue to move further forward, good luck to you!! handshake
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Feb 12, 2010 3:39 PM CST Maybe this will help someone. (long winded)
newinsouth
newinsouthnewinsouthAiken, South Carolina USA26 Threads 2 Polls 1,039 Posts
Franko, thank you for sharing your story. It sounds like you went thru a lot of emotional and physical pain. I know they say that sometimes going thru a lot causes us to be stronger, but what you have gone thru was enough to break any man. I pray for your continued progress and strength.
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Feb 12, 2010 4:25 PM CST Maybe this will help someone. (long winded)
lovely4u7da
lovely4u7dalovely4u7dachicago, Illinois USA32 Threads 1,337 Posts
What a inspiring story wow you made it through the fire and came out with out the smell of smoke
goes to show you what wont kill you will make you strong
and just when we can`t find the way to take another step if you keep moving and dont give up it will all work out somehow
Bless You for telling this
It is a strength giver and spirit lifter upper hug comfort handshake teddybear angel
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Feb 12, 2010 4:29 PM CST Maybe this will help someone. (long winded)
deacon6347
deacon6347deacon6347Amado, Arizona USA10 Threads 757 Posts
I've driven that same road, i'll keep good thoughts for ya that you manage to keep steering straight and truehandshake
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Feb 12, 2010 5:40 PM CST Maybe this will help someone. (long winded)
adamisk
adamiskadamiskraleigh, Mississippi USA34 Threads 4 Polls 1,325 Posts
my hats off to you partner .
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Feb 12, 2010 6:16 PM CST Maybe this will help someone. (long winded)
dcj22
dcj22dcj22Somewhere, Tennessee USA102 Threads 3 Polls 11,581 Posts
roseofsharon: You needn't have put "(long winded)" in the title, Franco. That denotes it being a chore to read and, on the contrary, I found it very interesting.

You have clearly been pro-active, or at least have been seeking to overcome those obstacles you found so difficult in the beginning.

All credit to you, the progress you have made (with a little help, of course) appears to be, in the main, down to you and your positive attitude.

I hope you continue to move further forward, good luck to you!!



Rose has said what I wanted to, so I won't repeat. I wish you all the luck in your recovery of both your physical ailments and yoru divorce.
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