To Gordo from Brian... (3)

The Shopping Trip

Four friends spend weeks planning the perfect girls' getaway trip - shopping, casinos, massages, facials.

Two days before the group is to leave Mary's husband puts his foot down and tells her she isn't going.

Mary's friends are very upset that she can't go, but what can they do?

Two days later the three get to the hotel only to find Mary sitting in the bar drinking a glass of wine.

"Wow, how long you been here and how did you talk your husband into letting you go?"

"Well, I've been here since last night........... Yesterday evening I was sitting on the couch and my husband came up behind me and put his hands over my eyes and said 'Guess who'?"

"I pulled his hands off to find all he was wearing was his birthday suit. He took my hand and led me to our bedroom. The room was scented with perfume, had two dozen candles and rose petals all over.............On the bed, he had handcuffs and ropes! He told me to tie and cuff him to the bed, so I did. And then he said, "Now, you can do whatever you want."

"So here I am."

Curtis & Leroy saw an ad in the The Oxford Eagle Newspaper inOxford, MS and bought a mule for $100. The farmer agreed to deliver the mule the next day.

The next morning the farmer drove up and said, "Sorry, fellers, I have some bad news, the mule died last night."

Curtis & Leroy replied, "Well, then just give us our money back."

The farmer said, "Can't do that. I went and spent it already."

They said, "OK then, just bring us the dead mule."

The farmer asked, "What in the world ya'll gonna do with a dead mule?"

Curtis said, "We're gonna raffle him off."

The farmer said, "You can't raffle off a dead mule!"

Leroy said, "We shore can! Heck, we don't hafta tell nobody he's dead!"

A couple of weeks later, the farmer ran into Curtis & Leroy at the Piggly Wiggly grocery store and asked, "What'd you fellers ever dowith that dead mule?"

Curtis said, "We raffled him off like we said we wuz gonna do."

Leroy said, "Shucks, we sold 500 tickets fer two dollars apiece and made a profit of $898."

The farmer said,"My Lord, didn't anyone complain?"

Curtis said, "Well, the feller who won, got upset. So we gave him his two dollars back."


Curtis and Leroy now work for the government.

They're overseeing the Bailout Program.