It's all in pun... (45)
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jbibiza:
Mahatma Gandi, as you know walked barefoot most of the time...which produced an impressive set of callouses on his feet. He also ate very little which made him quite frail... and with his odd diet he suffered from bad breath.
This made him a Super calloused fragile mystic hexed with halitosis.
Mahatma Gandi, as you know walked barefoot most of the time...which produced an impressive set of callouses on his feet. He also ate very little which made him quite frail... and with his odd diet he suffered from bad breath.
This made him a Super calloused fragile mystic hexed with halitosis.
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jbibiza: I love puns...here's a couple of my favorite, please feel free to add a few of your own.
Did you here about the Buddhist that refused novacain during a root canal?
His goal = Transcend dental medication
A vulture boards an airplane carrying 2 dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him a says "Sorry sir but only one carrion allowed per passenger"
And my personal favorite...
Mahatma Gandi, as you know walked barefoot most of the time...which produced an impressive set of callouses on his feet. He also ate very little which made him quite frail... and with his odd diet he suffered from bad breath.
This made him a Super calloused fragile mystic hexed with halitosis.
Did you here about the Buddhist that refused novacain during a root canal?
His goal = Transcend dental medication
A vulture boards an airplane carrying 2 dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him a says "Sorry sir but only one carrion allowed per passenger"
And my personal favorite...
Mahatma Gandi, as you know walked barefoot most of the time...which produced an impressive set of callouses on his feet. He also ate very little which made him quite frail... and with his odd diet he suffered from bad breath.
This made him a Super calloused fragile mystic hexed with halitosis.
People who plug their computer keyboards into hi-fi systems aren't idiots. That would be stereotyping.
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jbibiza: I love puns...here's a couple of my favorite, please feel free to add a few of your own.
Did you here about the Buddhist that refused novacain during a root canal?
His goal = Transcend dental medication
A vulture boards an airplane carrying 2 dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him a says "Sorry sir but only one carrion allowed per passenger"
And my personal favorite...
Mahatma Gandi, as you know walked barefoot most of the time...which produced an impressive set of callouses on his feet. He also ate very little which made him quite frail... and with his odd diet he suffered from bad breath.
This made him a Super calloused fragile mystic hexed with halitosis.
Did you here about the Buddhist that refused novacain during a root canal?
His goal = Transcend dental medication
A vulture boards an airplane carrying 2 dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him a says "Sorry sir but only one carrion allowed per passenger"
And my personal favorite...
Mahatma Gandi, as you know walked barefoot most of the time...which produced an impressive set of callouses on his feet. He also ate very little which made him quite frail... and with his odd diet he suffered from bad breath.
This made him a Super calloused fragile mystic hexed with halitosis.
Your coffee is so bad, it’s grounds for divorce!
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There was the person who sent twenty different puns to his friends, with the hope that at least ten of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.
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Off to bed now...a dsy spent lazing in the sun really takes it out of you...
Have pun!
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Tailors enjoy hanging out in internet forums, as they are full of threads.
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Did you hear about the optometrist who fell into a lens grinder and made a spectacle of himself?
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Doctors tell us there are over seven million people who are overweight. These, of course, are only round figures.
What is the purpose of reindeer? It makes the grass grow, sweetie.
There were two ships. One had red paint, one had blue paint. They collided. At last report, the survivors were marooned.
The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow. I rang her up and asked, "Did you get my drift?"
Where do you find giant snails? On the ends of giant's fingers.
Why is Saudi Arabia free of mental illness? There are nomad people there.
When I was in the supermarket I saw a man and a woman wrapped in a barcode. I asked, "Are you two an item?"
I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him $50 that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. He said, 'no, the steaks are too high.'
What is the purpose of reindeer? It makes the grass grow, sweetie.
There were two ships. One had red paint, one had blue paint. They collided. At last report, the survivors were marooned.
The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow. I rang her up and asked, "Did you get my drift?"
Where do you find giant snails? On the ends of giant's fingers.
Why is Saudi Arabia free of mental illness? There are nomad people there.
When I was in the supermarket I saw a man and a woman wrapped in a barcode. I asked, "Are you two an item?"
I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him $50 that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. He said, 'no, the steaks are too high.'
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He dined with her at the local beanery and was immediately inflatuated.
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A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Ahmal'. The other goes to a family in Spain ; the y name him 'Juan'. Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."
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My favourite famous pun:
A hard man is good to find. (Mae West)
A hard man is good to find. (Mae West)
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TurkishDelight: A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Ahmal'. The other goes to a family in Spain ; the y name him 'Juan'. Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."
damn you beat me to it
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woohoo128: damn you beat me to it
If you decide to take puns more seriously, get yourself a good pair of punning shoes and learn to speak Punjabi. Before long you’ll be puntificating like a pro and punctuating your conversations with punny, punny, puns. Just be sure to avoid pundering to the lowest common denominator.
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TurkishDelight: My favourite famous pun:
A hard man is good to find. (Mae West)
A hard man is good to find. (Mae West)
Mae West you know how to whistle you just put your lips together and blow
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woohoo128: Mae West you know how to whistle you just put your lips together and blow
It's not the men in my life that count, it's the life in my men.
Mae West
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TurkishDelight: It's not the men in my life that count, it's the life in my men.
Mae West
Mae West
When I'm good I'm very good, but when I'm bad I'm better.
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Thanks for all of the good pun jokes. 
i only know one kids joke to contribute:
what do you get when peanut butter and jelly meet in an intersection?
a traffic JAM !!!
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jbibiza: I love puns...here's a couple of my favorite, please feel free to add a few of your own.
Did you here about the Buddhist that refused novacain during a root canal?
His goal = Transcend dental medication
A vulture boards an airplane carrying 2 dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him a says "Sorry sir but only one carrion allowed per passenger"
And my personal favorite...
Mahatma Gandi, as you know walked barefoot most of the time...which produced an impressive set of callouses on his feet. He also ate very little which made him quite frail... and with his odd diet he suffered from bad breath.
This made him a Super calloused fragile mystic hexed with halitosis.
Did you here about the Buddhist that refused novacain during a root canal?
His goal = Transcend dental medication
A vulture boards an airplane carrying 2 dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him a says "Sorry sir but only one carrion allowed per passenger"
And my personal favorite...
Mahatma Gandi, as you know walked barefoot most of the time...which produced an impressive set of callouses on his feet. He also ate very little which made him quite frail... and with his odd diet he suffered from bad breath.
This made him a Super calloused fragile mystic hexed with halitosis.
one of my favourites....
a midget psychic escaped from prison...now we have a small medium at large...
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Did you here about the Buddhist that refused novacain during a root canal?
His goal = Transcend dental medication
A vulture boards an airplane carrying 2 dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him a says "Sorry sir but only one carrion allowed per passenger"
And my personal favorite...
Mahatma Gandi, as you know walked barefoot most of the time...which produced an impressive set of callouses on his feet. He also ate very little which made him quite frail... and with his odd diet he suffered from bad breath.
This made him a Super calloused fragile mystic hexed with halitosis.