When does a friend in need become a needy nuisance? (22)
Like any good relationship, it is about give and take...
If he/she is a taker all the time, then it robs you of your energy and spirit....
My advice is to get brutally honest with them.
If he/she is a taker all the time, then it robs you of your energy and spirit....
My advice is to get brutally honest with them.
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Some times people need a good kick to get out their depression and others just need a hug and kind words. If someone is down all the time and nothing works I would try to send them for professional help.. lets say if was going on for 2 months or more..
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I think that as long as it doesnt bring you down listening to their problems and feelings should be unlimited because someday you may need someone to talk to and you can turn to them but when it gets bad enough to where it starts affecting your life thats when you need to talk to them about it and suggest it. Its not to harsh to say something like hey I really care about you but I think that you would be better off talking to someone with more experience then me about this. This way you don't lose a friend and you get them the help they really need. Or if you can learn to let it not affect your life then just keep listening
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I've been in that boat too, and now I kindly state that if the person doesn't like the situation then they need to make a change. Moaning about it to me is not going to alter the predicament !!!
I recently distanced myself from a friend after she texted me and asked me to dump her husband for her !!!! Nice girl, only slightly mentally unstable !!!!
I recently distanced myself from a friend after she texted me and asked me to dump her husband for her !!!! Nice girl, only slightly mentally unstable !!!!
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Thats easy Siren...sometimes ya can't spare there feelings if they refuse to grow....
Just be blunt with um...
And if there still dense about it....then just ignore them...maybee they'll figure it out.
Just be blunt with um...
And if there still dense about it....then just ignore them...maybee they'll figure it out.
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That is the trouble, they take, take, take, you are right the spirit weakens.
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"I really care about you and hate to see you having so much pain and trouble. I wish I had the skills to help you, because I feel bad that just listening to you try to figure this out yourself doesn't seem to be working, and I obviously haven't been able to help much with this.
Would you please try to find someone, perhaps a professional, who can help you sort through this in a much quicker and much more effective way, so you can be happy again? I really want that for you!"
How's that?
The truth is rarely "brutal" when it comes from your heart; sometimes you just have to think a bit what the underlying love is trying to say.
Would you please try to find someone, perhaps a professional, who can help you sort through this in a much quicker and much more effective way, so you can be happy again? I really want that for you!"
How's that?
The truth is rarely "brutal" when it comes from your heart; sometimes you just have to think a bit what the underlying love is trying to say.
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I give people the means to change their situation.
If they do not even try, I move on.
Some love to wallow in the safety of it is not my fault, I have had all this bad stuff and haven't had a fair chance.
I have many many times had people moan about I need money so bad. I say ok! here is how to make some. They make up anything they can to not do it. I move on.
All in all, I have found that if a person is busting their butt to improve.....help them. If they are not trying....Don't waste your time.
They will find someone else to piss and moan to.
Funny! they never piss and moan to each other, They always find someone who is working their butt off and waste their time.
If they do not even try, I move on.
Some love to wallow in the safety of it is not my fault, I have had all this bad stuff and haven't had a fair chance.
I have many many times had people moan about I need money so bad. I say ok! here is how to make some. They make up anything they can to not do it. I move on.
All in all, I have found that if a person is busting their butt to improve.....help them. If they are not trying....Don't waste your time.
They will find someone else to piss and moan to.
Funny! they never piss and moan to each other, They always find someone who is working their butt off and waste their time.
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^^^^^^^^^^
Do you see how I am under her?
Support anytime...with the little give and take....
Do you see how I am under her?
Support anytime...with the little give and take....
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...."Funny! they never piss and moan to each other, They always find someone who is working their butt off and waste their time"....
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"A friend in need is a friend indeed"???????
Or should this one state; A friend in constant need, is a friend of greed....
Or should this one state; A friend in constant need, is a friend of greed....
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I have a friend that after 20 years of marriage decided enough was enough and sent the man packing. Although now she was left with the house, the bills, the car, twin daughters, and no job. Hmmmmmm needless to say she became a basketcase rather quickly.
So she turns to the only friend she has left (so it seems to her). Now everytime a bad decision or a wrong turn in life comes along I get the phone call or a visit which is fine since I am glad to help a friend in need.
Friends are there for friends. Even if that means telling the friend to seek professional help, which I did. I am glad I did because she got the professional help and I was the friend that forced her to see that she needed professional help.
So she turns to the only friend she has left (so it seems to her). Now everytime a bad decision or a wrong turn in life comes along I get the phone call or a visit which is fine since I am glad to help a friend in need.
Friends are there for friends. Even if that means telling the friend to seek professional help, which I did. I am glad I did because she got the professional help and I was the friend that forced her to see that she needed professional help.
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I have also had a friend who only called me to whine & complain.I know that friends are supposed to be there for each other.However after listening & giving advice for so long I was getting depressed myself.Alot of her problems were brought on herself & she wasn't doing anything to change her way of life.Eventually I told her I couldn't talk to her for a while.We didn't talk for a little over a year.Then I saw in the newspaper where she had a baby & it died 9 days later.So,of course I called her up.We've been talking again now for about a year and half.However,it's the same old thing every time I talk to her.I guess some people just enjoy being depressed.She was on drepression meds for a while but she stopped taking them.She said she didn't like how they made her feel.
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Unfortunately, there are people in this world who only want someone to cry to. They have no interest in getting help, or in fixing the problem. Listening to a person's constant belly aching hurts you more than helps them.
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Yeah I'd have to agree with ya there.The sad thing is we've been friends for 14yrs.I love her to death,but it just tears me up seeing how she is destroying her life.Not only her life but her 7yr old sons as well.
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Everyone on this planet has the ability to change one person. Unfortunately, far too many people refuse to do so.
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After the x-reply i would tell the one to move on in life.
No matter who it would be.
No matter who it would be.
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Yes your all so right, you can only do so much for someone, if they are unwilling to help save themselves, then you have to save yourself.
It's like the old saying, misery loves company.
Only trouble is the company cannot always love misery!
It's like the old saying, misery loves company.
Only trouble is the company cannot always love misery!
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the more you do for someone the more they want from you and sometimes it does piss you off 
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Created: Aug 2006
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Or is that too harsh and unkind and should you continue to be brought down yourself by such a person.
I have had to distance myself from someone like this because they brought me down too, but wonder would it have been kinder to have been brutal enough to say to them, seek professional help?
What would you do?