The man that looked............... (18)
I think you did right in ignoring him, but more interestingly, was this while you two were still a couple or more recently? If you were there as just friends, he should not have felt threatened in any way, maybe he should even have struck a conversation with the guy to levitate some of the pressure this guy might have been causing on you.
Some people have a way of staring that is really nasty, but to a large extent they loose interest when their "flirt" does not get a reply.
Now, in my world, guys secretly checking out "my lady", what could be wrong in that... I won..
Some people have a way of staring that is really nasty, but to a large extent they loose interest when their "flirt" does not get a reply.
Now, in my world, guys secretly checking out "my lady", what could be wrong in that... I won..
josingleinspain: Hi All.....
I need advise. This is going to take a while to explain so please be patient. Me and my ex went out to one night to see some live band. So we sat down and after a while a man came to sit at our table. Ther was three chairs me and my ex sat next to each other and he across me. This man kept staring at me.I was just looking at the band and ignored the man that was looking at me. In the end he walked away. That is when my ex started on me.
He said I embarrassed him and made him look stupid. I was not loyal to him. That i should have told the man not to look at me or said we should have moved elsewhere. My ex is not a big man and this man was rather big. My ex also said that some people was looking at us and I made him look stupid.
Can anybody tell me what was I supposed to do or was my ex out of line.
I need advise. This is going to take a while to explain so please be patient. Me and my ex went out to one night to see some live band. So we sat down and after a while a man came to sit at our table. Ther was three chairs me and my ex sat next to each other and he across me. This man kept staring at me.I was just looking at the band and ignored the man that was looking at me. In the end he walked away. That is when my ex started on me.
He said I embarrassed him and made him look stupid. I was not loyal to him. That i should have told the man not to look at me or said we should have moved elsewhere. My ex is not a big man and this man was rather big. My ex also said that some people was looking at us and I made him look stupid.
Can anybody tell me what was I supposed to do or was my ex out of line.
Whats the problem he's your ex..not present partener but ex...it's his problem not your's.
yes we were a couple at the time. The reason i wanted to get advice is cos it was one of the reasons we broke up and he said it was because I was not loyal to him as I did nothing that nite to make things easy for him. I just want to know what and if I was wrong.
josingleinspain: yes we were a couple at the time. The reason i wanted to get advice is cos it was one of the reasons we broke up and he said it was because I was not loyal to him as I did nothing that nite to make things easy for him. I just want to know what and if I was wrong.
OK how would you feel if a woman had sat and stared at your ex and he had done nothing?
A little more complicated with a big man,you don't know if he will react in an aggressive manner,right?
in short i don't think you did anything wrong,in a good working relationship,you should be able to discuss what happened and come up with a plan of action,should this happen again.which makes me think,that perhaps this really wasn't the reason for the split.
Well as to the other reasons we broke up not too sure in all honesty. He was very controling and when I complained about being in a dectatorship instead of a relationship that night came up as a reason and that i was not loyal to him. I have lived
on the coast for 7 years and have always just ignored men like that and in the end they walk away and I was under the impression that a man should stand up for his lady. Hence me asking advice on this one.
on the coast for 7 years and have always just ignored men like that and in the end they walk away and I was under the impression that a man should stand up for his lady. Hence me asking advice on this one.
josingleinspain: Well as to the other reasons we broke up not too sure in all honesty. He was very controling and when I complained about being in a dectatorship instead of a relationship that night came up as a reason and that i was not loyal to him. I have lived
on the coast for 7 years and have always just ignored men like that and in the end they walk away and I was under the impression that a man should stand up for his lady. Hence me asking advice on this one.
on the coast for 7 years and have always just ignored men like that and in the end they walk away and I was under the impression that a man should stand up for his lady. Hence me asking advice on this one.
Men do..Turkeys don't..Turkeys generally do what your ex did to you..Control you..talk down to you..think they know best..have preconcieved idea's about what you are thinking...
Phoenix: Men do..Turkeys don't..Turkeys generally do what your ex did to you..Control you..talk down to you..think they know best..have preconcieved idea's about what you are thinking...
i agree i'm afraid your ex has issues and is blaming you-you allready know this,have a little faith in your perception of the situation.
In response to: Hi All.....
I need advise. This is going to take a while to explain so please be patient. Me and my ex went out to one night to see some live band. So we sat down and after a while a man came to sit at our table. Ther was three chairs me and my ex sat next to each other and he across me. This man kept staring at me.I was just looking at the band and ignored the man that was looking at me. In the end he walked away. That is when my ex started on me.
He said I embarrassed him and made him look stupid. I was not loyal to him. That i should have told the man not to look at me or said we should have moved elsewhere. My ex is not a big man and this man was rather big. My ex also said that some people was looking at us and I made him look stupid.
Can anybody tell me what was I supposed to do or was my ex out of line.
I need advise. This is going to take a while to explain so please be patient. Me and my ex went out to one night to see some live band. So we sat down and after a while a man came to sit at our table. Ther was three chairs me and my ex sat next to each other and he across me. This man kept staring at me.I was just looking at the band and ignored the man that was looking at me. In the end he walked away. That is when my ex started on me.
He said I embarrassed him and made him look stupid. I was not loyal to him. That i should have told the man not to look at me or said we should have moved elsewhere. My ex is not a big man and this man was rather big. My ex also said that some people was looking at us and I made him look stupid.
Can anybody tell me what was I supposed to do or was my ex out of line.
mmm methinks your ex has a multitude of problems the biggest being narcissm. the signs are there in what you write. You did the right thing in running for the hills and also you didnt do anything wrong in the local where you were. He is the one that should have done something, that is if he thought anything of you, I dont seriously think that was the reason for his departure, but it was a good and suitable excuse at the time. Another typical textbook trait of narcissm.
All in all - the ex is now an ex, rightfully so.
We never own each other, not even when we think we do, we always have to try to win the others love by feeding it with trust and support.
I think what you described is a typical case of the opposite. I've seen too many of such relations where one is right out harassing the partner with no respect or interest in his/her well-being or care for the relation itself.
Unfortunately not everyone finds the guts to say enough and walk out, you did and well you did.
I hope this is the last time you even dare to wonder if you did right or wrong.
On a humorous note - maybe you should have taken up on that other chaps silent offer...
And the world spins on
We never own each other, not even when we think we do, we always have to try to win the others love by feeding it with trust and support.
I think what you described is a typical case of the opposite. I've seen too many of such relations where one is right out harassing the partner with no respect or interest in his/her well-being or care for the relation itself.
Unfortunately not everyone finds the guts to say enough and walk out, you did and well you did.
I hope this is the last time you even dare to wonder if you did right or wrong.
On a humorous note - maybe you should have taken up on that other chaps silent offer...
And the world spins on
thanx for that mike69spain tha was real funny. Yes well time to move on and do better. Thanx for all the advice so far.
josingleinspain: thanx for that mike69spain tha was real funny. Yes well time to move on and do better. Thanx for all the advice so far.
And what about my advice and the others..Why just single mike out (no offence mucker..)
Phoenix: And what about my advice and the others..Why just single mike out (no offence mucker..)
I saw her first, allright
mike69spain: I saw her first, allright
Can't argue there..First come , first serve..Plus she's closer to you than me..
Phoenix: Can't argue there..First come , first serve..Plus she's closer to you than me..
In here it is all just at a stroke of a keys distance multiplied with the speed of light and a glass of wine.
Guess she is, yes.
So sorry did not mean to offend just found mike69spain's reply rahter funny..............SO THANK YOU ALL FOR THE ADVICE.
josingleinspain: Hi All.....
I need advise. This is going to take a while to explain so please be patient. Me and my ex went out to one night to see some live band. So we sat down and after a while a man came to sit at our table. Ther was three chairs me and my ex sat next to each other and he across me. This man kept staring at me.I was just looking at the band and ignored the man that was looking at me. In the end he walked away. That is when my ex started on me.
He said I embarrassed him and made him look stupid. I was not loyal to him. That i should have told the man not to look at me or said we should have moved elsewhere. My ex is not a big man and this man was rather big. My ex also said that some people was looking at us and I made him look stupid.
Can anybody tell me what was I supposed to do or was my ex out of line.
What all the others here say is right!I need advise. This is going to take a while to explain so please be patient. Me and my ex went out to one night to see some live band. So we sat down and after a while a man came to sit at our table. Ther was three chairs me and my ex sat next to each other and he across me. This man kept staring at me.I was just looking at the band and ignored the man that was looking at me. In the end he walked away. That is when my ex started on me.
He said I embarrassed him and made him look stupid. I was not loyal to him. That i should have told the man not to look at me or said we should have moved elsewhere. My ex is not a big man and this man was rather big. My ex also said that some people was looking at us and I made him look stupid.
Can anybody tell me what was I supposed to do or was my ex out of line.
And you say you were in a dictator-type relationship before with him ....... and he is still trying to dictate.
My experience with this type of thing ......... a couple sitting together and another person joins them .... Well ..... a bit of kissy-kissy and hand-holding soon drives them away ... hahahaa.
BUT ... to sit it out, (for your ex)... and then to complain and whine to YOU ... that shows his mind-set, I think? He is actually complaining about his OWN behaviour ... not yours!
Your ex may be correct. This seem like an obvious provocation. If it did happen in Spain, then you have probably encountered some rude individuals. Many years ago I did encounter some sick/criminal behaviour, in which this type of thing was part of their fun. Sort of a Torero/matator game. ("matare", to subdue or kill).
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I need advise. This is going to take a while to explain so please be patient. Me and my ex went out to one night to see some live band. So we sat down and after a while a man came to sit at our table. Ther was three chairs me and my ex sat next to each other and he across me. This man kept staring at me.I was just looking at the band and ignored the man that was looking at me. In the end he walked away. That is when my ex started on me.
He said I embarrassed him and made him look stupid. I was not loyal to him. That i should have told the man not to look at me or said we should have moved elsewhere. My ex is not a big man and this man was rather big. My ex also said that some people was looking at us and I made him look stupid.
Can anybody tell me what was I supposed to do or was my ex out of line.