Whisky (13)
Seems that poor me "not quite as good"... 
Ohh, I am sure you are wonderful person. I had received this from one of my clients because we both enjoy some whisky on the weekends. So I thought it was funny.
I am sure you an amazing lady and a great person.
I am sure you an amazing lady and a great person.
It's OK...is not that I care much about goodness of me...Just joking...
jy father use to say women are alie a good whiskey if there well aged then there good as hell
A man who spent a long, relaxed day with a few friendly bottles was meandering homeward when he saw a man lying half submerged in a ditch. With the courage of several bottles, and no hesitation, our hero jumped in, dragged the man out and shook him thoroughly.
When the man came to, he said "thank you for rescuing me, I'm not a normal man, I'm really a Genie, I lost one wish when I was hit by a car, So you can have the two remaining wishes".
Our man had no difficulty in accepting his good fortune, and thought long and hard for about .02 seconds. "I'll have a bottle of whiskey that never runs empty" The Genie waved a hand and a full bottle appeared.
Our man took a big gulp or ten, squinted carefully at the bottle and saw that it was still as full as it was when it first appeared. "Wonderful!!!" he said, "Give me another one of those!!!!!"
When the man came to, he said "thank you for rescuing me, I'm not a normal man, I'm really a Genie, I lost one wish when I was hit by a car, So you can have the two remaining wishes".
Our man had no difficulty in accepting his good fortune, and thought long and hard for about .02 seconds. "I'll have a bottle of whiskey that never runs empty" The Genie waved a hand and a full bottle appeared.
Our man took a big gulp or ten, squinted carefully at the bottle and saw that it was still as full as it was when it first appeared. "Wonderful!!!" he said, "Give me another one of those!!!!!"
A professor of chemistry wanted to teach his 5th grade class a lesson about the evils of liquor
A professor of chemistry wanted to teach his 5th grade class a lesson about the evils of liquor, so he produced an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey and two worms.
"Now, class. Observe closely the worms," said the professor putting a worm first into the water. The worm in the water writhed about, happy as a worm in water could be.
The second worm, he put into the whiskey. It writhed painfully, and quickly sank to the bottom, dead as a doornail.
"Now, what lesson can we derive from this experiment?" the professor asked.
Johnny, who naturally sits in back, raised his hand and wisely, responded, "Drink whiskey and you won't get worms."
A professor of chemistry wanted to teach his 5th grade class a lesson about the evils of liquor, so he produced an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey and two worms.
"Now, class. Observe closely the worms," said the professor putting a worm first into the water. The worm in the water writhed about, happy as a worm in water could be.
The second worm, he put into the whiskey. It writhed painfully, and quickly sank to the bottom, dead as a doornail.
"Now, what lesson can we derive from this experiment?" the professor asked.
Johnny, who naturally sits in back, raised his hand and wisely, responded, "Drink whiskey and you won't get worms."
Northof7
"The second worm, he put into the whiskey. It writhed painfully, and quickly sank to the bottom, dead as a doornail."
This explains the worm in the tequila bottle, I think this guy has been at it for some time.
Hilarius by the way
This explains the worm in the tequila bottle, I think this guy has been at it for some time.
Hilarius by the way
How to cook a turkey::
Step 1: Go buy a turkey
Step 2: Take a drink of whiskey
Step 3: Put turkey in the oven
Step 4: Take another 2 drinks of whiskey
Step 5: Set the degree at 375 ovens
Step 6: Take 3 more whiskeys of drink
Step 7: Turn oven the on
Step 8: Take 4 whisks of drinky
Step 9: Turk the bastey
Step 10: Whiskey another bottle of get
Step 11: Stick a turkey in the thermometer
Step 12: Glass yourself a pour of whiskey
Step 13: Bake the whiskey for 4 hours
Step 14: Take the oven out of the turkey
Step 15: Take the oven out of the turkey
Step 16: Floor the turkey up off of the pick
Step 17: Turk the carvey
Step 18: Get yourself another scottle of botch
Step 19: Tet the sable and pour yourself a glass of turkey
Step 1: Go buy a turkey
Step 2: Take a drink of whiskey
Step 3: Put turkey in the oven
Step 4: Take another 2 drinks of whiskey
Step 5: Set the degree at 375 ovens
Step 6: Take 3 more whiskeys of drink
Step 7: Turn oven the on
Step 8: Take 4 whisks of drinky
Step 9: Turk the bastey
Step 10: Whiskey another bottle of get
Step 11: Stick a turkey in the thermometer
Step 12: Glass yourself a pour of whiskey
Step 13: Bake the whiskey for 4 hours
Step 14: Take the oven out of the turkey
Step 15: Take the oven out of the turkey
Step 16: Floor the turkey up off of the pick
Step 17: Turk the carvey
Step 18: Get yourself another scottle of botch
Step 19: Tet the sable and pour yourself a glass of turkey
This is a very similiar "poem" to the one above (Scottish version though)
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Created: May 2010
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Last Commented: Sep 2010
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Give me strong whisky and weak women
Everything will be just fine
Give me weak whisky and a strong woman
You'll break this heart of mine
I love women, whisky too
When I get drunk there's nothing I won't do
Give me strong whisky and weak women
Everything will be just fine
Give me old whisky and young women
Everything's going my way
Give me young whisky and an old woman
There'll be hell to pay
Whisky's fine when it's aged in wood
When a woman's aged it's not quite as good
Give me old whisky and young women
Everything's going my way
Give me good whisky and bad women
Sit back and watch me scream
Give me bad whisky and a good woman
I won't do a thing
I like my whisky neat and strong
I like my women loving long
Give me good whisky and bad women
Everything's going my way