I allowed myself to get pulled into neighbours dilhema (25)
Where are all the opinions?
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Is this thread not dumb enough for comments or do you all just like to fight?
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Arlene101: We visit back and forth all the time and my neighbour, Allana got married to a man from the other end of our country.
He made big money, had the home, car, etc....
Allanas' husband wants her to go to work to help out because he is working full time at a lower wage and works part time on the weekend.
She refuses to do so and she says she really loves him but just sits around on the computer all day. I know this!
She is fit and able to work and asked me what my opinion was and after being asked many times and I refused to answer her--I gave her my opinion. BTW, he threatens to leave if she doesn't help out. He is supporting her and her children and his own from his previous marriage and she is blowing it off.
I told her that she better listen up or she will lose him.
She is upset with me now (I don't care--she asked and didn't like it).
I will let her read this. Any advice?
He made big money, had the home, car, etc....
Allanas' husband wants her to go to work to help out because he is working full time at a lower wage and works part time on the weekend.
She refuses to do so and she says she really loves him but just sits around on the computer all day. I know this!
She is fit and able to work and asked me what my opinion was and after being asked many times and I refused to answer her--I gave her my opinion. BTW, he threatens to leave if she doesn't help out. He is supporting her and her children and his own from his previous marriage and she is blowing it off.
I told her that she better listen up or she will lose him.
She is upset with me now (I don't care--she asked and didn't like it).
I will let her read this. Any advice?
that was the best advice ....
You did no wrong
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Boban1: that was the best advice ....
You did no wrong
Ahhhhh, Iknew you would be in. TY.You did no wrong
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Boban1: that was the best advice ....
You did no wrong
Boban, How do I get her to heed the warning she got?You did no wrong
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Arlene101: Boban, How do I get her to heed the warning she got?
Im afraid that some people learn harder ....I don`t think that some medical measures would help in her case
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Boban1: Im afraid that some people learn harder ....I don`t think that some medical measures would help in her case
Yes, it is sad to see this happen when there is full warning.On the bright side--maybe he will spot me.
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You did right, a good friend will always speak their mind, regardless of the consequences. Normally the other friend will appreciate the advice..... but not always at the time the advice is given
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Arlene101: Yes, it is sad to see this happen when there is full warning.
On the bright side--maybe he will spot me.
On the bright side--maybe he will spot me.
you never know....
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Boban1: you never know....
Well, HE is worthy of spotting!
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bjk68: You did right, a good friend will always speak their mind, regardless of the consequences. Normally the other friend will appreciate the advice..... but not always at the time the advice is given
I agree and she asked for it and I told her several times that she would not like it.------ This thread is Archived ------
I try to stay out of other peoples buniness,even though they ask,they really don't want to hear it if its not the same view as theres.They go ,you are suppose to be my friend why are you sideing with him!I lost a friend of 30 years that way,because she kept asking me to tell her what i though for months,finally i answered her honestly.I will never make that mistake again...its catch 22,dam if you do..dam if you don't
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It would be nice if people could benefit from good advice or experiences we've gone through. But it seems like they just have to do it on their own and learn the hard way. It's a shame.
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Arlene101: We visit back and forth all the time and my neighbour, Allana got married to a man from the other end of our country.
He made big money, had the home, car, etc....
Allanas' husband wants her to go to work to help out because he is working full time at a lower wage and works part time on the weekend.
She refuses to do so and she says she really loves him but just sits around on the computer all day. I know this!
She is fit and able to work and asked me what my opinion was and after being asked many times and I refused to answer her--I gave her my opinion. BTW, he threatens to leave if she doesn't help out. He is supporting her and her children and his own from his previous marriage and she is blowing it off.
I told her that she better listen up or she will lose him.
She is upset with me now (I don't care--she asked and didn't like it).
I will let her read this. Any advice?
He made big money, had the home, car, etc....
Allanas' husband wants her to go to work to help out because he is working full time at a lower wage and works part time on the weekend.
She refuses to do so and she says she really loves him but just sits around on the computer all day. I know this!
She is fit and able to work and asked me what my opinion was and after being asked many times and I refused to answer her--I gave her my opinion. BTW, he threatens to leave if she doesn't help out. He is supporting her and her children and his own from his previous marriage and she is blowing it off.
I told her that she better listen up or she will lose him.
She is upset with me now (I don't care--she asked and didn't like it).
I will let her read this. Any advice?
Well yes, i totally agree with you Arlene, sounds like the poor guy is footing the bill for everything. Think she should help out.
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A couple of things here, with what you have said in your posts.
Firstly you did the right thing by giving homest advice when she asked, but just because she chooses to ignore it does not mean she didn't listen.
Advice is always freely given. Some good some bad.... it's what we do with it that counts.
Secondly I would question your motives for continuing to assist this woman.
You have actually hinted that you think her man is quite a catch.
If you continue to profer advice it could be seen as interfering and a means to split them up for your own benefit.
If you really want to be a friend to this woman, then stay out of their way now and let them work it out, and be there for her in a non-judgemental way, if the relationship fails.
As with my earlier statement..... my advice is free...... it's what you do with it and that of others that will determine how much of a friend you are.
Best of luck
Firstly you did the right thing by giving homest advice when she asked, but just because she chooses to ignore it does not mean she didn't listen.
Advice is always freely given. Some good some bad.... it's what we do with it that counts.
Secondly I would question your motives for continuing to assist this woman.
You have actually hinted that you think her man is quite a catch.
If you continue to profer advice it could be seen as interfering and a means to split them up for your own benefit.
If you really want to be a friend to this woman, then stay out of their way now and let them work it out, and be there for her in a non-judgemental way, if the relationship fails.
As with my earlier statement..... my advice is free...... it's what you do with it and that of others that will determine how much of a friend you are.
Best of luck
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You gave good advice!
Marriage is supposed to be a partnership with both people pulling together not one of them being dragged as a dead weight.
I'd sell her computer.....as a hint.....!
Marriage is supposed to be a partnership with both people pulling together not one of them being dragged as a dead weight.
I'd sell her computer.....as a hint.....!
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Hey Arlene Good advice to your neighbor.
I would keep my distance now and just let the advice you gave speak for you....
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mbcasey: Hey Arlene
Good advice to your neighbor.
I would keep my distance now and just let the advice you gave speak for you....
Good advice to your neighbor.
I would keep my distance now and just let the advice you gave speak for you....
I don't know you or the people involved but I would agree with most of the posters here. Your advice is sound and better she feels a bit uncomfortable now and sorts this out, than be abandoned, loveless, husbandless and penniless at some point further down the line.
I'm assuming here by the way that she is in good health and not suffering from aggrophobia or depression or the like which makes her afraid to venture out.
Like I said, from the information you have given, your advice is sound. To thine own self be true and all that!
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Created: May 2010
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He made big money, had the home, car, etc....
Allanas' husband wants her to go to work to help out because he is working full time at a lower wage and works part time on the weekend.
She refuses to do so and she says she really loves him but just sits around on the computer all day. I know this!
She is fit and able to work and asked me what my opinion was and after being asked many times and I refused to answer her--I gave her my opinion. BTW, he threatens to leave if she doesn't help out. He is supporting her and her children and his own from his previous marriage and she is blowing it off.
I told her that she better listen up or she will lose him.
She is upset with me now (I don't care--she asked and didn't like it).
I will let her read this. Any advice?