Are you being too picky? (159)
Bloody hell, and I thought I was being fussy looking for someone taller than myself and with a pulse.
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venusinsilk: Bloody hell, and I thought I was being fussy looking for someone taller than myself and with a pulse.
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ive just read this one seconds ago in yahoo hehehe...am i too picky? maybe :P
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erm...well for me just someone who doesn't have male genetalia or facial hair will do nicely
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jekenlani: ive just read this one seconds ago in yahoo hehehe...am i too picky? maybe :P
Well, are you?? He he he
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Ralphy2407: erm...well for me just someone who doesn't have male genetalia or facial hair will do nicely
Well, good luck on that one!
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There's certainly a lot of this about. How am i supposed to live up to someones idea of a 'dream' man? We all have fantasies about 'the one' but its just so unrealistic to expect a person to abide by some dreamt up list of criteria. We are who we are. Me - i cook, great at DIY(as an engineer i should be), loving father, good job, nice car, look after myself as in ironing washing etc, have a fantastic sense of humour, i'm loyal, trusting and trustworthy. very affectionate and loving, very good lover(yes i really am !). i could go on and on but somehow it isn't enough. I think a lot of women need to come into the real world instead of the fairytale princess world they've been led to believe in. Who wants to be perfect anyway ? For 7 years i tried to live up to someone's idea of her perfect man. i failed, not because i wasn't good enough but because her list of 'demands' got bigger and bigger. The more you give the more they take. Selfish if you ask me. I'll run a mile from a big list in a profile. I just want someone i find attractive to love me and thats it.
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I read about it, the longer a person have been without a date the higher and more unrealistic are demands. you slip into the dream world. 
demands are protection against anxiety to meet a real person. they recommend to meet real people even if they only are 10% of your dream person or even less and learn to know the real world and exercise on real people. if you don't like them so awesomely much you will be less nervous.
when the One comes up you are ready to take the opportunity.
demands are protection against anxiety to meet a real person. they recommend to meet real people even if they only are 10% of your dream person or even less and learn to know the real world and exercise on real people. if you don't like them so awesomely much you will be less nervous. when the One comes up you are ready to take the opportunity.------ This thread is Archived ------
jeffc320: There's certainly a lot of this about. How am i supposed to live up to someones idea of a 'dream' man? We all have fantasies about 'the one' but its just so unrealistic to expect a person to abide by some dreamt up list of criteria. We are who we are. Me - i cook, great at DIY(as an engineer i should be), loving father, good job, nice car, look after myself as in ironing washing etc, have a fantastic sense of humour, i'm loyal, trusting and trustworthy. very affectionate and loving, very good lover(yes i really am !). i could go on and on but somehow it isn't enough. I think a lot of women need to come into the real world instead of the fairytale princess world they've been led to believe in. Who wants to be perfect anyway ? For 7 years i tried to live up to someone's idea of her perfect man. i failed, not because i wasn't good enough but because her list of 'demands' got bigger and bigger. The more you give the more they take. Selfish if you ask me. I'll run a mile from a big list in a profile. I just want someone i find attractive to love me and thats it.
I feel ya there, friend. Look, it's really our fault women have become so detached from the realities of a REAL man. We used to say and do anything to keep them entertained and on our individual side and we end up promising more than we can deliver!
It's first up to US guys to clearly know what we want, need and wish from a partner and know our limitations as far as our emotional involvement before we start "hunting"( we wish...) and then, once we know who we are and what we can actually stand from a partner, to stand our ground and make it clear that what she sees is what she gets, we ain't gonna change and we don't WANT to change because we actually like ourselves the way we are...
Well, there's my rant for the day
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It can kinda work the other way as well, though. If I get contacted by somebody who has a stream of positive info about themselves on a profile - attractive, fit, young, intelligent, sensitive, loaded, blah, blah, blah - I assume that they're either a scammer, or just way out of my league.
Too little information makes me feel like I might as well be looking at a blank piece of paper, so, I kinda think there's probably a happy medium somewhere in giving out info about yourself and stating what you're looking for in another.
In answer to your specific question, yes, too picky. That sort of list of requirements doesn't exactly leave you any room to be yourself, or have your own personality.
Jac xxx
Too little information makes me feel like I might as well be looking at a blank piece of paper, so, I kinda think there's probably a happy medium somewhere in giving out info about yourself and stating what you're looking for in another.
In answer to your specific question, yes, too picky. That sort of list of requirements doesn't exactly leave you any room to be yourself, or have your own personality.
Jac xxx
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nevica: I read about it, the longer a person have been without a date the higher and more unrealistic are demands. you slip into the dream world. demands are protection against anxiety to meet a real person. they recommend to meet real people even if they only are 10% of your dream person or even less and learn to know the real world and exercise on real people. if you don't like them so awesomely much you will be less nervous. when the One comes up you are ready to take the opportunity.
There you have it... "the One"... I guess you're either looking for Jet Li or Keanu Reeves
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I disagree with your posts! Most women are not looking for perfection! Some women are and maybe some men too! In my opinion most women want a man who is honest, a man who they find attractive, a man who has a job and who'll treat them right!
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Grandepensees: I feel ya there, friend. Look, it's really our fault women have become so detached from the realities of a REAL man. We used to say and do anything to keep them entertained and on our individual side and we end up promising more than we can deliver!
It's first up to US guys to clearly know what we want, need and wish from a partner and know our limitations as far as our emotional involvement before we start "hunting"( we wish...) and then, once we know who we are and what we can actually stand from a partner, to stand our ground and make it clear that what she sees is what she gets, we ain't gonna change and we don't WANT to change because we actually like ourselves the way we are...
Well, there's my rant for the day
It's first up to US guys to clearly know what we want, need and wish from a partner and know our limitations as far as our emotional involvement before we start "hunting"( we wish...) and then, once we know who we are and what we can actually stand from a partner, to stand our ground and make it clear that what she sees is what she gets, we ain't gonna change and we don't WANT to change because we actually like ourselves the way we are...
Well, there's my rant for the day
Well said friend, I've certainly learnt my lesson and agree with what you say 100%. I'm not going to change for anyone but myself in future. Thats not to say i'm going to be arrogant or selfish, just being me instead of trying to be someone i'm not. Big lesson learned.
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Grandepensees: There you have it... "the One"... I guess you're either looking for Jet Li or Keanu Reeves
not at all, see my profile. I am amazed that after I started dating in autumn and meeting 15 people in person I didn't find Anybody who shares my interests and my way of life - together.
I only meet 10% here, 10% there, and I do that and it was fun and I exercise on being sociable which is good, I am too shy otherwise and have a tendensy to isolate myself. I am not looking for the One, been there done that, many years, it's not good for me. but one-two or more good friends with benefits sharing my interests. so far I mostly met them who want benefits but don't share my interests.
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nevica: not at all, see my profile. I am amazed that after I started dating in autumn and meeting 15 people in person I didn't find Anybody who shares my interests and my way of life - together.
I only meet 10% here, 10% there, and I do that and it was fun and I exercise on being sociable which is good, I am too shy otherwise and have a tendensy to isolate myself. I am not looking for the One, been there done that, many years, it's not good for me.
but one-two or more good friends with benefits sharing my interests. so far I mostly met them who want benefits but don't share my interests.
I mean I was married and in long term many years, one to one forever situation is not good for me.I grow to be dependant of a person and isolate myself of the world. I would rather have several long term friends and expand my world every now and then and my partners would accept that.I only meet 10% here, 10% there, and I do that and it was fun and I exercise on being sociable which is good, I am too shy otherwise and have a tendensy to isolate myself. I am not looking for the One, been there done that, many years, it's not good for me.
but one-two or more good friends with benefits sharing my interests. so far I mostly met them who want benefits but don't share my interests.
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Alekk2: I disagree with your posts! Most women are not looking for perfection! Some women are and maybe some men too! In my opinion most women want a man who is honest, a man who they find attractive, a man who has a job and who'll treat them right!
I think most women want Prince Charming, Sean Connery, Pierce Brosnan and Brad Pitt all rolled up into one!
And "honest" as a criteria kinda jumps at my throat, I mean do you REALLY HAVE to mention you want an honest man???
Same with "treating them right!" What woman worthy of a relationship need to stress on that point? Like an honest and gentle man doesn't already know what is and isn't acceptable in our society!
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Thank you.
And the "selfish" part? I see the residuals of a guilt trip there... like we men have all gotten at some point in our lives when we needed to refocus our priorities in a relationship that started to lean too far towards Venus
And the "selfish" part? I see the residuals of a guilt trip there... like we men have all gotten at some point in our lives when we needed to refocus our priorities in a relationship that started to lean too far towards Venus
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Grandepensees: Thank you.
And the "selfish" part? I see the residuals of a guilt trip there... like we men have all gotten at some point in our lives when we needed to refocus our priorities in a relationship that started to lean too far towards Venus
And the "selfish" part? I see the residuals of a guilt trip there... like we men have all gotten at some point in our lives when we needed to refocus our priorities in a relationship that started to lean too far towards Venus
jeffc320
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nevica: I mean I was married and in long term many years, one to one forever situation is not good for me.I grow to be dependant of a person and isolate myself of the world. I would rather have several long term friends and expand my world every now and then and my partners would accept that.
Oh, if you're looking for men who'll accept to share you with others then be ready for the players because an upstanding guy doesn't share his squeeze and doesn't go around either... Unless the "privilege" is only supposed to apply to you?
You basically said, about the guys you've met lately, that they either get bored and just want you in the sack or just plainly don't want you.
Let's be honest, a man who gets it often is a happy man and a happy man makes a woman happy outside of the bedroom
Or is this whole thread just
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Created: Jun 2010
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"Me: otherwise easygoing SF, 29, in desirable neighborhood near excellent schools and world-class cheese market. You: 31-36, Ivy League (except Penn), minimum 5’ 10", maximum 180 lbs., pectoral-to-waist ratio .33; fiscal conservative/social liberal; profession: law, medicine, banking (employer must have innovative paternity leave policy); hobbies: pan-Asian cooking, helping the needy, foot rubs; civil to (but not “friends” with) ex-girlfriends (maximum: 2); informed, witty, self-starter: equally comfortable chatting at state dinners and changing tires. Send introductory email along with photo, high school and college transcripts, 3 recommendations (1 academic, 1 professional, 1 non-threatening friend-girl) plus two 750-word essays on the topics: (1) “A Man of Quality is Not Threatened By A Woman For Equality” and (2) “Why I Always Share My Feelings.”
Your online profile may not look exactly like that, but for some people — and you know who you are — it sends out the exact same vibe. According to some dating experts, there’s a “picky” pandemic: women (and men, too, but to a lesser degree) with impossible-to-meet standards who wear their massive checklists on their sleeves. Women who are…well, still inexplicably single. Does this sound even a little bit like you? If so, how do you manage your expectations without selling yourself short? "
Finally an article about dating that doesn't "dream" of the "perfect" match but points out the trouble with dating sites' demanding members... Sure, you'll say why not wait for the One, that rare breed of a "real" man...
Ladies! You've said it yourself a hundred times at least: WE'RE ALL THE SAME!
And for your info, this thread isn't about me, I'm NOT looking and am actually trying to cope with the demands
I just thought I'd give food for thought...