So confused ( Archived) (26)

Jun 26, 2010 9:31 AM CST So confused
Quest4SoulMate
Quest4SoulMateQuest4SoulMateMelbourne, Victoria Australia4 Threads 83 Posts
Long story short

Met a woman on another site, we chatted; smsd Imd and phone convo

Anyway I started falling for her even before we met and in a round about way expressed that to which she said basicaly see ya too much pressure.

2.5 weeks later she smses me and asks me if my mum is ok ( she had an OP and it was a bit sketchy for a while)

So my question is WTF, why would she sms me and bring herself back in my life if she knows how i feel about her and she jumped ship earlier ?

I would like opinions, I dont need cheering up just a general consensus as to what is happening as I am not in an unbiased and able to think straight position.

Thanks in advance everyone.

frustrated
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Jun 26, 2010 9:33 AM CST So confused
Zellarrone1
Zellarrone1Zellarrone1Hull, East Riding of Yorkshire, England UK33 Threads 4 Polls 7,644 Posts
Quest4SoulMate: Long story short

Met a woman on another site, we chatted; smsd Imd and phone convo

Anyway I started falling for her even before we met and in a round about way expressed that to which she said basicaly see ya too much pressure.

2.5 weeks later she smses me and asks me if my mum is ok ( she had an OP and it was a bit sketchy for a while)

So my question is WTF, why would she sms me and bring herself back in my life if she knows how i feel about her and she jumped ship earlier ?

I would like opinions, I dont need cheering up just a general consensus as to what is happening as I am not in an unbiased and able to think straight position.

Thanks in advance everyone.
Maybe she genuinely changed her mind, or she's a player dunno
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Jun 26, 2010 9:35 AM CST So confused
Steve5721
Steve5721Steve5721La Zenia, Murcia Spain72 Threads 2 Polls 4,564 Posts
Zellarrone1: Maybe she genuinely changed her mind, or she's a player


Or maybe she is concerned about his Mother and just wants to know how she is?
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Jun 26, 2010 9:36 AM CST So confused
opentuit
opentuitopentuitKnoxville, Tennessee USA14 Threads 2 Polls 2,014 Posts
She just needed that bit of space to feel UN-hurried... because she had experienced your expression of strong feelings so early on as PRESSURE... an imbalance. It might feel more balanced now... she is achieving that by talking about your mum's health instead of over-focusing on the dating angle.

This can give the two of you time to develop your budding friendship at a pace that feels more natural for her.
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Jun 26, 2010 9:37 AM CST So confused
Zellarrone1
Zellarrone1Zellarrone1Hull, East Riding of Yorkshire, England UK33 Threads 4 Polls 7,644 Posts
Steve5721: Or maybe she is concerned about his Mother and just wants to know how she is?
Oh yeah, could be.
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Jun 26, 2010 9:37 AM CST So confused
deadbutwhy
deadbutwhydeadbutwhyeast, Eastern Province Saudi Arabia9 Threads 2 Polls 1,295 Posts
Quest4SoulMate: Long story short

Met a woman on another site, we chatted; smsd Imd and phone convo

Anyway I started falling for her even before we met and in a round about way expressed that to which she said basicaly see ya too much pressure.

2.5 weeks later she smses me and asks me if my mum is ok ( she had an OP and it was a bit sketchy for a while)

So my question is WTF, why would she sms me and bring herself back in my life if she knows how i feel about her and she jumped ship earlier ?

I would like opinions, I dont need cheering up just a general consensus as to what is happening as I am not in an unbiased and able to think straight position.

Thanks in advance everyone.
Mate, the girl just showed some class and humanity. That's a whole lot different than what you take it to be: to bring herself back in your life. Just be glad that she's friendly and a good person and that's all. doh
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Jun 26, 2010 9:37 AM CST So confused
estate
estateestatePERTH, Tayside, Scotland UK2 Threads 1,664 Posts
Wouldn't even bother returning sms, she had the chance, she blew it!!! C YA.cheers
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Jun 26, 2010 9:38 AM CST So confused
Steve5721
Steve5721Steve5721La Zenia, Murcia Spain72 Threads 2 Polls 4,564 Posts
Zellarrone1: Oh yeah, could be.


Just thought that a woman would be concerned about that more than a bloke would.
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Jun 26, 2010 9:40 AM CST So confused
Quest4SoulMate: Long story short

Met a woman on another site, we chatted; smsd Imd and phone convo

Anyway I started falling for her even before we met and in a round about way expressed that to which she said basicaly see ya too much pressure.

2.5 weeks later she smses me and asks me if my mum is ok ( she had an OP and it was a bit sketchy for a while)

So my question is WTF, why would she sms me and bring herself back in my life if she knows how i feel about her and she jumped ship earlier ?

I would like opinions, I dont need cheering up just a general consensus as to what is happening as I am not in an unbiased and able to think straight position.

Thanks in advance everyone.

She sounds like a caring woman. She cares for you and your family.
Your hopes are not wasted, just give her time. Life takes over and you should never put presure on another.
She will respond when she knows she has the ability to give you what you want.
Or, she will be a good friend who will listen to you when you need to talk.
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Jun 26, 2010 9:45 AM CST So confused
Laura25
Laura25Laura25Somewhere, New York USA50 Threads 6 Polls 8,178 Posts
Quest4SoulMate: Long story short

Met a woman on another site, we chatted; smsd Imd and phone convo

Anyway I started falling for her even before we met and in a round about way expressed that to which she said basicaly see ya too much pressure.

2.5 weeks later she smses me and asks me if my mum is ok ( she had an OP and it was a bit sketchy for a while)

So my question is WTF, why would she sms me and bring herself back in my life if she knows how i feel about her and she jumped ship earlier ?

I would like opinions, I dont need cheering up just a general consensus as to what is happening as I am not in an unbiased and able to think straight position.

Thanks in advance everyone.


No, you don't need cheering up.

You fall in love with the idea of falling in love. Happens all the time to lonely people interacting exclusively on line.

You were ready to meet, she wasn't... because she is not who she says she is. But she wants to hold on to this virtual "on-line" excitement.

Simple.
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Jun 26, 2010 9:50 AM CST So confused
Quest4SoulMate
Quest4SoulMateQuest4SoulMateMelbourne, Victoria Australia4 Threads 83 Posts
Laura25:

You were ready to meet, she wasn't... because she is not who she says she is. But she wants to hold on to this virtual "on-line" excitement.

Simple.


Are you referring to a 'FAKE' ?
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Jun 26, 2010 9:59 AM CST So confused
Laura25
Laura25Laura25Somewhere, New York USA50 Threads 6 Polls 8,178 Posts
Quest4SoulMate: Are you referring to a 'FAKE' ?


No! Not fake...

I've seen it in cs forums,

for instance, there was this young woman who came into forumas for an advice on what to do --

she chatted on line with a guy for almost a year, but she misrepresented herself from the start, posting somebody else's glamorous photos. They both got emotionally very attached to each other, but she couldn't meet him because she lied all this time about her appearance.

What a waste! She looked absolutely adorable in her actual photos, but... what's done done. dunno
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Jun 26, 2010 10:02 AM CST So confused
TheStillOfNight
TheStillOfNightTheStillOfNightEastern NL, Newfoundland Canada48 Threads 1 Polls 530 Posts
Laura25: No! Not fake...

I've seen it in cs forums,

for instance, there was this young woman who came into forumas for an advice on what to do --

she chatted on line with a guy for almost a year, but she misrepresented herself from the start, posting somebody else's glamorous photos. They both got emotionally very attached to each other, but she couldn't meet him because she lied all this time about her appearance.

What a waste! She looked absolutely adorable in her actual photos, but... what's done done.


I had that done to me on another dating site. I can tell you, when someone posts fakes pictures and its discovered, there will be zero chance of anything coming out of it. To put up a fake picture shows dishonesty and a total lack of decency and respect for the person they are talking to.
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Jun 26, 2010 10:03 AM CST So confused
deadbutwhy
deadbutwhydeadbutwhyeast, Eastern Province Saudi Arabia9 Threads 2 Polls 1,295 Posts
TheStillOfNight: I had that done to me on another dating site. I can tell you, when someone posts fakes pictures and its discovered, there will be zero chance of anything coming out of it. To put up a fake picture shows dishonesty and a total lack of decency and respect for the person they are talking to.
It shows lots of insecurity from their part, imho, but it doesn't have to be the end.hug
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Jun 26, 2010 10:08 AM CST So confused
estate
estateestatePERTH, Tayside, Scotland UK2 Threads 1,664 Posts
deadbutwhy: It shows lots of insecurity from their part, imho, but it doesn't have to be the end.


But it is a blatant lie, right from the start!!!dunno handshake
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Jun 26, 2010 10:10 AM CST So confused
TheStillOfNight
TheStillOfNightTheStillOfNightEastern NL, Newfoundland Canada48 Threads 1 Polls 530 Posts
A fake picture is a lie. If a person can do that, god only knows what other lies has been spewed. You would never be able to fully trust that person and without trust, there is nothing.
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Jun 26, 2010 10:14 AM CST So confused
Englishman55
Englishman55Englishman55Salisbury, Wiltshire, England UK31 Threads 2 Polls 6,405 Posts
First of all you are rather vague on what she said to break off the initial chat.
For all we know she may have had genuine reasons.

You may have scared her, by being so forward so quickly.

She has now had some time to put some distance between you both and still may feel it is worth trying again.

Thank her for her concern for your mother and see if she wants to re-establish the chat.

You have nothing to loose and everything to gain, but do yourself a favour........

Hold back on expressing your feelings until you have met......... funnily enough, if you do meet, you may change your mind about her and not like her at all...... Then you have a problem !
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Jun 26, 2010 10:18 AM CST So confused
Tomson
TomsonTomsonGhent, Oost Vlaanderen Belgium1 Posts
Maybe she just don't know what she wants ... occurs regularly in the female species laugh
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Jun 26, 2010 10:20 AM CST So confused
deadbutwhy
deadbutwhydeadbutwhyeast, Eastern Province Saudi Arabia9 Threads 2 Polls 1,295 Posts
estate: But it is a blatant lie, right from the start!!!
Yeah, but not a lie to you personally. Lying is not commendable but I can understand it; afterall, we've all been liars at certain moments of weakness in our lives comfort
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Jun 26, 2010 10:33 AM CST So confused
Quest4SoulMate
Quest4SoulMateQuest4SoulMateMelbourne, Victoria Australia4 Threads 83 Posts
I'd like to reply firstly by saying WOW I wasnt expecting such great input for you all (hmm wish we could decide world issue like this)

I would also like to thank you all for your input,

Zellarrone; I dont think shes a player (strong gut instinct there)

Steve; I think theres more to it than that, but if in fact tehre isnt than I have a good friend like was mentioned by DEADbutWHY.

Naturally I'd like to believe what NAKEDMUDPEOPLE, opentuit, and Englishman55 have said and that is shes had time and in all fairness as a friend she responded with justification given what I said to her. So i totally understand that she felt pressured.

The half fake scenario; thanks sorry I didnt write your name down before the reply "lady somewhere from new york i believe"
I did not take that into consideration and this could fit into the situation. She is insecure but a good person at heart or simply as you put it continuing the virtual experience.

I guess this all reaffirms i need to cut the accelerator cable and take it easy as a friend from spain put it.

Thank you all, once again.
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