Do you men get put off if you are pursued too much by a woman? (71)
leostartingoverSandton, Gauteng South Africa33 Threads 1 Polls 1,685 PostsIn my humble experience, anything that comes too easy (pun intended) is not valued as much as something that takes a bit more time... Our roles as men and women are no longer clearly defined, but I think men still enjoy "hunting", doing the pursuing, to a certain point obviously. In some of the teen workshops I do the boys complain that the girls pursue them relentlessly, and it is a huge turnoff. How do you men feel about being pursued? And what do the women feel about doing the pursuing in a new relationship?
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i think i prefer being pursued, well, maybe equally pursuing each other
i love that dance
i love that dance
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plainlyjune: i think i prefer being pursued, well, maybe equally pursuing each other
i love that dance
i love that dance
Yes, the dance is fun.
Tee hee hee.
Jac xxx
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jac379: Yes, the dance is fun.
Tee hee hee.
Jac xxx
Tee hee hee.
Jac xxx
....trying to make sure you don't step on any toes in the process!!!
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leostartingover: In my humble experience, anything that comes too easy (pun intended) is not valued as much as something that takes a bit more time... Our roles as men and women are no longer clearly defined, but I think men still enjoy "hunting", doing the pursuing, to a certain point obviously. In some of the teen workshops I do the boys complain that the girls pursue them relentlessly, and it is a huge turnoff. How do you men feel about being pursued? And what do the women feel about doing the pursuing in a new relationship?
I have always lived by the maxim that "men chase and women choose".
I think it is up to each individual really though.
While women't liberation brought a lot of good things, such as equality in some respects, there are many things it got wrong too, and emasculating men is one of them.
One of the ways I believe that women do this is by taking on a male role in the pursuit of a partner. This takes the fun of the chase out of it, for the men.
Where is the satisfaction of getting something you haven't earned? It is rarely appreciated because it is so easily attained, and in my opinion de-values women.
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leostartingover: Do you men get put off if you are pursued too much by a woman?
If it ever happens I'll let ya know.
Seriously, I can understand the reaction of the teens you speak of. They're teens, typically less secure in their sense of identity. Many in addition have had their heads crammed full of who-knows-what nonsense about what their gender-roles are supposed to be. Put together that's a recipe for unease and distress.
As for us grups, though, the signal part of your question is the qualifier "too much." How much is too much? If a woman began pursuing me, and I made it crystal-clear I was not interested, I think the point of "too much" would come fairly soon thereafter.
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leostartingover: In my humble experience, anything that comes too easy (pun intended) is not valued as much as something that takes a bit more time... Our roles as men and women are no longer clearly defined, but I think men still enjoy "hunting", doing the pursuing, to a certain point obviously. In some of the teen workshops I do the boys complain that the girls pursue them relentlessly, and it is a huge turnoff. How do you men feel about being pursued? And what do the women feel about doing the pursuing in a new relationship?
That would also have to do with who the one persuing you is.
It's not at all a turn off if it's someone you're actually interested in getting caught by.
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it's like tango
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GingerBe: I have always lived by the maxim that "men chase and women choose".
I think it is up to each individual really though. While women't liberation brought a lot of good things, such as equality in some respects, there are many things it got wrong too, and emasculating men is one of them.
One of the ways I believe that women do this is by taking on a male role in the pursuit of a partner. This takes the fun of the chase out of it, for the men.
Where is the satisfaction of getting something you haven't earned? It is rarely appreciated because it is so easily attained, and in my opinion de-values women.
I think it is up to each individual really though. While women't liberation brought a lot of good things, such as equality in some respects, there are many things it got wrong too, and emasculating men is one of them.
One of the ways I believe that women do this is by taking on a male role in the pursuit of a partner. This takes the fun of the chase out of it, for the men.
Where is the satisfaction of getting something you haven't earned? It is rarely appreciated because it is so easily attained, and in my opinion de-values women.
Well put Ginger!!! That's my take on it, but thought perhaps I was a bit old fashioned in that respect.....
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there is a difference between being persued and relentlessly persued, I personaly like it when a lady takes an intereest but if the interest is not mutual then continued hounding is defanately a downer, I think that would be true if you are male or female. I personaly would love it if a lady did away with the games playing and was just open and honest and valued the same in me.
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leostartingover: In my humble experience, anything that comes too easy (pun intended) is not valued as much as something that takes a bit more time... Our roles as men and women are no longer clearly defined, but I think men still enjoy "hunting", doing the pursuing, to a certain point obviously. In some of the teen workshops I do the boys complain that the girls pursue them relentlessly, and it is a huge turnoff. How do you men feel about being pursued? And what do the women feel about doing the pursuing in a new relationship?
as soon as I detect "acting" ore learned behavior , its worst than easy
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Dagosto: If it ever happens I'll let ya know.
Seriously, I can understand the reaction of the teens you speak of. They're teens, typically less secure in their sense of identity. Many in addition have had their heads crammed full of who-knows-what nonsense about what their gender-roles are supposed to be. Put together that's a recipe for unease and distress.
As for us grups, though, the signal part of your question is the qualifier "too much." How much is too much? If a woman began pursuing me, and I made it crystal-clear I was not interested, I think the point of "too much" would come fairly soon thereafter.
Seriously, I can understand the reaction of the teens you speak of. They're teens, typically less secure in their sense of identity. Many in addition have had their heads crammed full of who-knows-what nonsense about what their gender-roles are supposed to be. Put together that's a recipe for unease and distress.
As for us grups, though, the signal part of your question is the qualifier "too much." How much is too much? If a woman began pursuing me, and I made it crystal-clear I was not interested, I think the point of "too much" would come fairly soon thereafter.
Good point!
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To me it only happened a few times. I was flattered, but it was always by someone I didn't want anything to do with.
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plainlyjune: i think i prefer being pursued, well, maybe equally pursuing each other
i love that dance
i love that dance
I love women that know what they want and chase me, there are still lines not to cross in chasing, if the guy is interested then he will flirt back etc.
I do wish women would chase more, but at the same time, without being contradicting, i still love chasing too, that the fun and the excitement..'the dance' beutifully put.
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Just wanted to add... In relationships, I think the maxim: Let there be space in your togetherness (Kahlil Gibran) is a worthy one to keep in mind!
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GingerBe: I have always lived by the maxim that "men chase and women choose".
I think it is up to each individual really though. While women't liberation brought a lot of good things, such as equality in some respects, there are many things it got wrong too, and emasculating men is one of them.
One of the ways I believe that women do this is by taking on a male role in the pursuit of a partner. This takes the fun of the chase out of it, for the men.
Where is the satisfaction of getting something you haven't earned? It is rarely appreciated because it is so easily attained, and in my opinion de-values women.
I think it is up to each individual really though. While women't liberation brought a lot of good things, such as equality in some respects, there are many things it got wrong too, and emasculating men is one of them.
One of the ways I believe that women do this is by taking on a male role in the pursuit of a partner. This takes the fun of the chase out of it, for the men.
Where is the satisfaction of getting something you haven't earned? It is rarely appreciated because it is so easily attained, and in my opinion de-values women.
Personaly I hate the whole Game of the persute thing. Just be honest, equil, and straight forward. That would be wounderfull in my book.
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Richie_rich: I love women that know what they want and chase me, there are still lines not to cross in chasing, if the guy is interested then he will flirt back etc.
I do wish women would chase more, but at the same time, without being contradicting, i still love chasing too, that the fun and the excitement..'the dance' beutifully put.
I do wish women would chase more, but at the same time, without being contradicting, i still love chasing too, that the fun and the excitement..'the dance' beutifully put.
thanks. it's the excitement and thrill of courting each other. should be mutual too else we risk stepping on someone else's toes
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Richie_rich: I love women that know what they want and chase me, there are still lines not to cross in chasing, if the guy is interested then he will flirt back etc.
I do wish women would chase more, but at the same time, without being contradicting, i still love chasing too, that the fun and the excitement..'the dance' beutifully put.
I do wish women would chase more, but at the same time, without being contradicting, i still love chasing too, that the fun and the excitement..'the dance' beutifully put.
Yes I know what you mean! I guess it takes some of the pressure off. But, I think as I mentioned initially, my take is that men do get bored if they aren't allowed to do some of the chasing... A bit of a cat and mouse game.... If the mouse just allows itself to be captured, there ain't no fun in it for the cat!!!
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jeepers: To me it only happened a few times. I was flattered, but it was always by someone I didn't want anything to do with.
Awwwww shame!
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scoutmaster: Personaly I hate the whole Game of the persute thing. Just be honest, equil, and straight forward. That would be wounderfull in my book.
We have to take into account the nature of humans too though. Not so easy then. We all say we would like all things being equal, but they never will be.
The make up of men and women is different, driven by different things. It has always been this way and always will be, no matter what laws you change in society.
It's the animal thing in us.
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Created: Jul 2010
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