Why Italian Women Need Therapy (24)
maybe its just something as simple as u eating at theirs means ur still their little girl, but them eating at urs means u r also their equal...or some crap like that 
venere08: I had started this topic last year, then I left the site, and found that my threads have all been archived!
So, I am resurrecting it with gusto!
Last night, I dropped in at my parents' place on my way home. As the evening drew on I mentioned to my mother, that I'd like them over for a meal tomorrow night, being Saturday night(now is tonight!). She immediately said she hasn't felt very well, and it's really cold at night, and let's wait 'til it warms up....Ughhh!
I later turned to my father and said I'd like to have them over for dinner tomorrow night, yadda yadda...I expected a lively, 'yes'. But nope. He repleid...'Why, is it your anniversary?'
Errrr.... 'what anniversary?', as I've been divorced foreva!!! Then he said, well, it's not your birthday, and it's just that it's usually for a birthday or other....'
Then there will come the day, that they will let it slip into the conversation that they always have us kids over, but no-one ever invites them. Wonder why???????????????????? It happens just about every time I ask. I just want to spoil them a bit!
And before anyone says anything, I'm a very good cook!
But it can't just be Italian parents, surely.
So, I am resurrecting it with gusto!
Last night, I dropped in at my parents' place on my way home. As the evening drew on I mentioned to my mother, that I'd like them over for a meal tomorrow night, being Saturday night(now is tonight!). She immediately said she hasn't felt very well, and it's really cold at night, and let's wait 'til it warms up....Ughhh!
I later turned to my father and said I'd like to have them over for dinner tomorrow night, yadda yadda...I expected a lively, 'yes'. But nope. He repleid...'Why, is it your anniversary?'
Errrr.... 'what anniversary?', as I've been divorced foreva!!! Then he said, well, it's not your birthday, and it's just that it's usually for a birthday or other....'
Then there will come the day, that they will let it slip into the conversation that they always have us kids over, but no-one ever invites them. Wonder why???????????????????? It happens just about every time I ask. I just want to spoil them a bit!
And before anyone says anything, I'm a very good cook!
But it can't just be Italian parents, surely.
If you want to spoil them,wrap some cooked food up and go over there?
My inlaw's are the same,(cypriot)they like things on home ground,but moan about the work..
Mazza1970: maybe its just something as simple as u eating at theirs means ur still their little girl, but them eating at urs means u r also their equal...or some crap like that
There's a lot to what you say, Mazza, you might have something there.
I got home a little while ago, and in this part of the world it's early evening. I called my parents to pass on my son's g'day to them as he's in Europe right now, and sent me a text message to say they just got to Berlin....
What's the first thing my mother say soon after above convo?..."When are you coming over? I've cooked fish, blah, blah....."
She sounded pretty chirpy to me!
Yet last night when I invited her over, she was so ummm...unwell!
tomboygirl: If you want to spoil them,wrap some cooked food up and go over there?
My inlaw's are the same,(cypriot)they like things on home ground,but moan about the work..
My inlaw's are the same,(cypriot)they like things on home ground,but moan about the work..
Hi tomboygirl,
I do that regularly, bits and pieces I cook up, or buy, and take over. I've brought hot food, just freshly cooked. I don't see that as spoiling them in the least. I do go a bit overboard at Christmas, bringing over all manner of cooked items, wine etc. But it's still not spoiling them cos they still do lots of work.
No, I'd like them to get out of the house, especially my mother, who always waits on my father hand and foot, even before his recent hospital visit. I'd like them to simply relax, and I do everything for the night. Besides, it seems pointless carting a heap of pots at night, manouvering the double gate, my dog, getting the food in and out the car. It would be more than one course.
Maybe I'll invite one of her old neighbours whom she really likes. That should do the trick!
Yes, I can imagine the shenanigans with your in-laws. It's a mediterranean thang!
venere08: Hi tomboygirl,
I do that regularly, bits and pieces I cook up, or buy, and take over. I've brought hot food, just freshly cooked. I don't see that as spoiling them in the least. I do go a bit overboard at Christmas, bringing over all manner of cooked items, wine etc. But it's still not spoiling them cos they still do lots of work.
No, I'd like them to get out of the house, especially my mother, who always waits on my father hand and foot, even before his recent hospital visit. I'd like them to simply relax, and I do everything for the night. Besides, it seems pointless carting a heap of pots at night, manouvering the double gate, my dog, getting the food in and out the car. It would be more than one course.
Maybe I'll invite one of her old neighbours whom she really likes. That should do the trick!
Yes, I can imagine the shenanigans with your in-laws. It's a mediterranean thang!
I do that regularly, bits and pieces I cook up, or buy, and take over. I've brought hot food, just freshly cooked. I don't see that as spoiling them in the least. I do go a bit overboard at Christmas, bringing over all manner of cooked items, wine etc. But it's still not spoiling them cos they still do lots of work.
No, I'd like them to get out of the house, especially my mother, who always waits on my father hand and foot, even before his recent hospital visit. I'd like them to simply relax, and I do everything for the night. Besides, it seems pointless carting a heap of pots at night, manouvering the double gate, my dog, getting the food in and out the car. It would be more than one course.
Maybe I'll invite one of her old neighbours whom she really likes. That should do the trick!
Yes, I can imagine the shenanigans with your in-laws. It's a mediterranean thang!
Honestly what you write here really reminds me of my in-law's mentality.There is a strong matriarch marter act.They need to follow their roles,and need me to follow mine..which is to appreciate the effort they make cooking and being host's,while bringing their grandchildren to see them/stay with them very regularly.They wouldn't be comfortable coming to mine for a meal,(I tried inviting just them years ago,with my husband,they wouldnt come either)unless!I invited the entire extended family for a huge dinner-for an occasion such as my birthday/or one of my children's birthday-at which they could bathe in the admiration of the extended family at my host/cooking skills,and their relationship to me.(perhaps you could try this)
I actually find the simple role rules that I can follow quite restful
after my own family,who I have never worked out how to please..
Why Italian Women Need Therapy ????
Don't get me started
Don't get me started
You can invite them in written. A tiny cute card (handmade?), that they wouldn’t have heart to throw away, saying something like that: “Mummy and Daddy, it’s not a birthday nor it’s an anniversary as I’ve been divorced for ages, I just feel like inviting your for a dinner in my house without any other reason that I want to keep you in good mood and make sure you haven’t forgot to mention me in your will…”
… after the second thought: perhaps, it’d better to skip irony…
But speaking seriously – the first what comes to mind is that they are reluctant to leave the safety and convenience of their house. Happens with age that people lose drive and energy, and are more parsimonious with their movements.
But of course, there may be other reasons as well.
… after the second thought: perhaps, it’d better to skip irony…
But speaking seriously – the first what comes to mind is that they are reluctant to leave the safety and convenience of their house. Happens with age that people lose drive and energy, and are more parsimonious with their movements.
But of course, there may be other reasons as well.
Italian Women ? nah it aint reserved just for italians.
Englishman55: Why Italian Women Need Therapy ????Don't get me started
OK P we wont.
Englishman55: Why Italian Women Need Therapy ????Don't get me started
I can only imagine, P. You're surrounded by them, millions of them in Italy. But stop yer complaining. They're slim and gorgeous over there!
Tulefel: You can invite them in written. A tiny cute card (handmade?), that they wouldn’t have heart to throw away, saying something like that: “Mummy and Daddy, it’s not a birthday nor it’s an anniversary as I’ve been divorced for ages, I just feel like inviting your for a dinner in my house without any other reason that I want to keep you in good mood and make sure you haven’t forgot to mention me in your will…”
… after the second thought: perhaps, it’d better to skip irony…
But speaking seriously – the first what comes to mind is that they are reluctant to leave the safety and convenience of their house. Happens with age that people lose drive and energy, and are more parsimonious with their movements.
But of course, there may be other reasons as well.
… after the second thought: perhaps, it’d better to skip irony…
But speaking seriously – the first what comes to mind is that they are reluctant to leave the safety and convenience of their house. Happens with age that people lose drive and energy, and are more parsimonious with their movements.
But of course, there may be other reasons as well.
What a lovely idea, Tule!
Except that if I did something like that, they would be convinced I'm about to get married or leave the country. It's bad enough as it is with a plain and simple verbal invitation across their kitchen table.
And no, they have no will, though they should, only to avoid huge costs of public trustees. Being Italian, it's a given that all is shared equally, so there's generally no need to grovelling required,lol. Not sure what it's like in Sweden though.
good idea though, I might start to brush up on my penmanship, or sharpen the quill, whichever sounds more politically correct.
Hi again.
I took my parents out this glorious, sunny afternoon. But it did take a little bit of work....
I told mum that I had written on the internet about how she and my father had declined my offer the other night, and some of the suggestions given. She thought that was really funny. Just as she was about to come up with a reason as to why it wasn't such an idea to go out this afternoon, she stopped mid sentence, and started laughing, saying she'd better say yes, knowing I would write about it,lol. She said she didn't want to be compared to someone's mother in law!(guess whose???)
So, thanks again to you, tg and others who contributed with suggestions...They both had a wonderful afternoon, sitting at a cafe overlooking a gorgeous beach, after a short walk along the esplanade. My elder brother later joined us, and we returned home as the sun was setting. Perfect!
No therapy for me this week!
I took my parents out this glorious, sunny afternoon. But it did take a little bit of work....
I told mum that I had written on the internet about how she and my father had declined my offer the other night, and some of the suggestions given. She thought that was really funny. Just as she was about to come up with a reason as to why it wasn't such an idea to go out this afternoon, she stopped mid sentence, and started laughing, saying she'd better say yes, knowing I would write about it,lol. She said she didn't want to be compared to someone's mother in law!(guess whose???)
So, thanks again to you, tg and others who contributed with suggestions...They both had a wonderful afternoon, sitting at a cafe overlooking a gorgeous beach, after a short walk along the esplanade. My elder brother later joined us, and we returned home as the sun was setting. Perfect!
No therapy for me this week!
venere08: I had started this topic last year, then I left the site, and found that my threads have all been archived!
So, I am resurrecting it with gusto!
Last night, I dropped in at my parents' place on my way home. As the evening drew on I mentioned to my mother, that I'd like them over for a meal tomorrow night, being Saturday night(now is tonight!). She immediately said she hasn't felt very well, and it's really cold at night, and let's wait 'til it warms up....Ughhh!
I later turned to my father and said I'd like to have them over for dinner tomorrow night, yadda yadda...I expected a lively, 'yes'. But nope. He repleid...'Why, is it your anniversary?'
Errrr.... 'what anniversary?', as I've been divorced foreva!!! Then he said, well, it's not your birthday, and it's just that it's usually for a birthday or other....'
Then there will come the day, that they will let it slip into the conversation that they always have us kids over, but no-one ever invites them. Wonder why???????????????????? It happens just about every time I ask. I just want to spoil them a bit!
And before anyone says anything, I'm a very good cook!
But it can't just be Italian parents, surely.
So, I am resurrecting it with gusto!
Last night, I dropped in at my parents' place on my way home. As the evening drew on I mentioned to my mother, that I'd like them over for a meal tomorrow night, being Saturday night(now is tonight!). She immediately said she hasn't felt very well, and it's really cold at night, and let's wait 'til it warms up....Ughhh!
I later turned to my father and said I'd like to have them over for dinner tomorrow night, yadda yadda...I expected a lively, 'yes'. But nope. He repleid...'Why, is it your anniversary?'
Errrr.... 'what anniversary?', as I've been divorced foreva!!! Then he said, well, it's not your birthday, and it's just that it's usually for a birthday or other....'
Then there will come the day, that they will let it slip into the conversation that they always have us kids over, but no-one ever invites them. Wonder why???????????????????? It happens just about every time I ask. I just want to spoil them a bit!
And before anyone says anything, I'm a very good cook!
But it can't just be Italian parents, surely.
just a thought...why don't you give them this and ask them...though it might turn into another topic when you do!
Medsummer: just a thought...why don't you give them this and ask them...though it might turn into another topic when you do!
lol..shame on me! put my foot into my mouth on that one!
Medsummer: just a thought...why don't you give them this and ask them...though it might turn into another topic when you do!
Hi MS. You mean give them this post? If so, my father just read a little while ago. It made him smile, and was quite bemused at the idea of poeple responding to each other from across the globe.
venere08: Hi MS. You mean give them this post? If so, my father just read a little while ago. It made him smile, and was quite bemused at the idea of poeple responding to each other from across the globe.
That is, I'm assuming you meant my opening post.
venere08: That is, I'm assuming you meant my opening post.
yes, your opening post. It was also good to see your parents were at least thinking about the postings.
You are making a great daughter to your parents. i just hope, that my kids do not get the same idea when im getting still older. but well, i guess this is it, the social media life
venere08: Hi again.
I took my parents out this glorious, sunny afternoon. But it did take a little bit of work....
I told mum that I had written on the internet about how she and my father had declined my offer the other night, and some of the suggestions given. She thought that was really funny. Just as she was about to come up with a reason as to why it wasn't such an idea to go out this afternoon, she stopped mid sentence, and started laughing, saying she'd better say yes, knowing I would write about it,lol. She said she didn't want to be compared to someone's mother in law!(guess whose???)
So, thanks again to you, tg and others who contributed with suggestions...They both had a wonderful afternoon, sitting at a cafe overlooking a gorgeous beach, after a short walk along the esplanade. My elder brother later joined us, and we returned home as the sun was setting. Perfect!
No therapy for me this week!
I took my parents out this glorious, sunny afternoon. But it did take a little bit of work....
I told mum that I had written on the internet about how she and my father had declined my offer the other night, and some of the suggestions given. She thought that was really funny. Just as she was about to come up with a reason as to why it wasn't such an idea to go out this afternoon, she stopped mid sentence, and started laughing, saying she'd better say yes, knowing I would write about it,lol. She said she didn't want to be compared to someone's mother in law!(guess whose???)
So, thanks again to you, tg and others who contributed with suggestions...They both had a wonderful afternoon, sitting at a cafe overlooking a gorgeous beach, after a short walk along the esplanade. My elder brother later joined us, and we returned home as the sun was setting. Perfect!
No therapy for me this week!
Well how lovely,that your good intentions were realised and you were able to spoil your parents,all in good humour too!
One small word to explain my relationship being close to daughter/mother with my mother in law(to explain my comparison for your mother too lol)is 2 reasons,
1 she has no daughters(she had 5 sons)and
2 when her son/my husband died I took a small amount of his position,to cover some of the loss,I am a very diligent daughter in law,partly as it comforts me,to still do something for him.
well I hope you manage to spend some more quality time with your folks.xx
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So, I am resurrecting it with gusto!
Last night, I dropped in at my parents' place on my way home. As the evening drew on I mentioned to my mother, that I'd like them over for a meal tomorrow night, being Saturday night(now is tonight!). She immediately said she hasn't felt very well, and it's really cold at night, and let's wait 'til it warms up....Ughhh!
I later turned to my father and said I'd like to have them over for dinner tomorrow night, yadda yadda...I expected a lively, 'yes'. But nope. He repleid...'Why, is it your anniversary?'
Errrr.... 'what anniversary?', as I've been divorced foreva!!! Then he said, well, it's not your birthday, and it's just that it's usually for a birthday or other....'
Then there will come the day, that they will let it slip into the conversation that they always have us kids over, but no-one ever invites them. Wonder why????????????????????
And before anyone says anything, I'm a very good cook!
But it can't just be Italian parents, surely.