got a phone call from my ex ( Archived) (36)

Sep 9, 2006 6:36 PM CST got a phone call from my ex
first off let me tell you i have so much hate for this woman who i was engaged to. i got a phone call today from a mutual friend. she told me that my ex had a bad stroke! she is in the hospital and now is asking for me. this lady was screwing around behind my back the two years we were together.i know this because i walked in on her once. my delema is she wants me to visit her in the hospital. i told her a year and a half ago, i want nothing to do with her no more. is this an exception? i want to go but than again i dont. what would you guys and gals do? dunno dunno dunno
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Sep 9, 2006 6:38 PM CST got a phone call from my ex
Illuminate
IlluminateIlluminateKathleen, Georgia USA21 Threads 1,878 Posts
By all means...it's a stroke man...be humane and see how she's doin....but separate that from anything else.
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Sep 9, 2006 6:39 PM CST got a phone call from my ex
MichaelH
MichaelHMichaelHNowhere, Indiana USA24 Threads 620 Posts
Dont know the answer to that. I havent spoken to my "father" for over 20 years, by my own choice. If it was the same situation with him, I'm not sure what my decision would be.
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Sep 9, 2006 6:42 PM CST got a phone call from my ex
Jan1305
Jan1305Jan1305Sunshine and vino, Murcia Spain170 Threads 5,319 Posts
Forget the past and be compassionate. It is hard for you I understand but she wants to see you so maybe she has something she wants to say. If you don't go and her health deteriorates you would never forgive yourself.
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Sep 9, 2006 6:44 PM CST got a phone call from my ex
maxlady
maxladymaxladySmall Town, Manitoba Canada4 Threads 214 Posts
Do what your heart tells you to do. depending on how bad the stroke was she mey not remember what has happened between you. Maybe you need to find out more before you decide.
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Sep 9, 2006 6:45 PM CST got a phone call from my ex
im afraid to see her again. if i do, feeling might come back. seeing her in the hospital would just add pitty to the feelings coming back. if i dont, and she gets worse, i will feel bad that i never went.
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Sep 9, 2006 6:47 PM CST got a phone call from my ex
mastic55
mastic55mastic55Long Island, New York USA167 Threads 6,859 Posts
People make mistake's, and it sound's like you would like to see her, I say go.
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Sep 9, 2006 6:47 PM CST got a phone call from my ex
just my 2 cents ... if you still have any friends that were mutual friends, take one along as a buffer
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Sep 9, 2006 6:48 PM CST got a phone call from my ex
i gotta go. my heart is telling me to. ill just go in and see what she has to say than leave. talk to ya all later. thanksfrustrated frustrated frustrated frustrated frustrated
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Sep 9, 2006 6:49 PM CST got a phone call from my ex
lvslife
lvslifelvslifemoore, USA223 Threads 2,565 Posts
Hating what she did to you and hating her are different. She is in a bad way man. Maybe she needs to apologize? Obviously she remembers you, but to what extent?
Better to visit now, than to always wish you had.comfort
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Sep 9, 2006 6:50 PM CST got a phone call from my ex
langleygirl
langleygirllangleygirlWestlock, Alberta Canada70 Threads 8,202 Posts
Follow your heart and allow forgiveness to happen. This doesn't mean that you need to start again with this person - simply visit them in the hospital if that is what you desire to do and simply show them that you care because they are hurting.
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Sep 9, 2006 6:51 PM CST got a phone call from my ex
i know this lady my son is going to see. she is evildevil i dont think he sould go just by knowing her, but he's on his way and you all make good points.
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Sep 9, 2006 6:51 PM CST got a phone call from my ex
Illuminate
IlluminateIlluminateKathleen, Georgia USA21 Threads 1,878 Posts
Don't ya think that is just a tad selfish....

Afterall...this isn't a date.

It's up to you to sort all these feelings out...

But it is up to you..

All I can say is opportunities have risen out of stranger circumstances.
Will you be ready...

Good luck bro on whatever you decidepeace
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Sep 9, 2006 6:51 PM CST got a phone call from my ex
fabs_4000
fabs_4000fabs_4000White Rock, British Columbia Canada44 Threads 2,381 Posts
you should go but I warn you, prepare yourself. You don't want to fall victim to her because of her current situation. Goodluck
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Sep 9, 2006 7:08 PM CST got a phone call from my ex
dancingfarmer
dancingfarmerdancingfarmerColumbia, Connecticut USA41 Threads 752 Posts
I'm glad you went. I hope you can separate old feelings of the hurt she inflicted from any new ones you might have and lsiten to her with an open mind. She probably wants to say she's sorry and goodbye if her health is that bad now. Going was the responsible thing to do. Let us know how it went. We want all the details becasue this group will support you as one of our own no matter what happened.
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Sep 9, 2006 7:42 PM CST got a phone call from my ex
blancalatina
blancalatinablancalatinawinston-salem, USA42 Threads 3,315 Posts
Sometimes when faced with a possible end to what we believe is life...we face challenges such as "guilt" or needing "forgiveness". Some may think it's needed for mental as well as physical wellness. Just go in with the mindset that we are allowed to "hate" what people do to us, but we should never hate them. Humans are just that. I don't condone her acts, but we are all fragile. Treat this as if it were an aquaintance if possible. At least you are the one who has peace in his heart and soul.
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Sep 9, 2006 8:57 PM CST got a phone call from my ex
because she doesnt know what the future will bring her now, she just wanted to say sorry. sorry for cheating on me and for aborting what could of been my first born 2 years ago. i never knew that she went in to abort my child.
very mad very mad very mad very mad very mad very mad
frustrated frustrated frustrated frustrated frustrated


what now? i thought she was done breaking my heart.crying
thank you everyone for replying on this matter. you guys and gals are great. not sure if i should post this or not but im going to any way to throw my self out there. this is me at my weakest mentality.
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Sep 9, 2006 9:01 PM CST got a phone call from my ex
maxlady
maxladymaxladySmall Town, Manitoba Canada4 Threads 214 Posts
Sorry. That all I can think to say. Maybe we will have to dance again soon. Everyone has weak times. We are here for you no matter what.hug
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Sep 9, 2006 9:04 PM CST got a phone call from my ex
Meilandra
MeilandraMeilandraEden Prairie, Minnesota USA25 Threads 1,186 Posts
"Resentment is like eating rat poison and waiting for the other person to die."

It sounds like YOU have some unresolved issues about her, and if you don't forgive her it's going to be on YOUR soul, that's untrusting baggage you're very likely to take into a future relationship. Here's your chance to do learn some forgiveness and be able to move on with your life.

(And maybe she wants to see you to apologize.)
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Sep 9, 2006 9:20 PM CST got a phone call from my ex
i wont accept her appoligys. she aborted my unborn child without me knowing. im lost. dont know what to do. all my life i knew i wanted to be a father. to watch a peace of life i helped create grow. i take each day as they come as far as my goals, but being a father was my altumet dream. hate is such a strong feeling, but I HATE HER FOR THIS. i dont wish nothing bad onto anyone but ,I HOPE SHE SUFFERS. this is not in my hands though. she'll get judged somday by a higher power. sorry, im just ramblin on and on. ill stop now and check out the other threads. mabye ill read somthing to cheer me up.
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