Why is it so hard for a good peson to find some one (36)
1guylooking0069Stanwood, Washington USA7 Threads 127 PostsI know im scruffy and unkept. But im a good person that has spent most of his life putting others ahead of him self. And I Wil give any thing to anyone if they ask. And ask for nothing in return. and then when I have nothing left to give Im eather not there type or the just treat me like an old pair of socks and toss me aside. Is it a sin to be scruffy shy and over weight. I joined this site to try and find some one but im finding the people here are just as rude and shallow as regular life. And im beginning to think there is no one for me any whare. What about any of you out there have the same isseue 
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I think your problem is to be too giving.
You probably give to people who are needy in some way, as well. You are attracted to these people because you are in your comfort zone, you know what role to play. It comes naturally to you, probably because you learned these behaviours early on in life, as did they.
The problem comes when you have nothing left to give, or you need some reciprocation and these people get angry that you can't carry on the role they expect of you and are too wrapped up in their own needs to realise that relationships, in whatever form they take, are not a one way street.
Also, it produces anger and resentment in you, which isn't going to help your relationship.
My advice is to take things slowly. Generosity, whether materially, spiritually, emotionally, whatever is an admiral quality, but only give out a little at a time and stop if it is not reciprocated.
Talk about your needs as well, early on, so "I need a little support here from you", or "would you mind helping me with this" for starters, maybe.
Always look to your own behaviour as well as others. After all, its not just about individuals, its about their interactions. Study your interactions.
Jac xxx
You probably give to people who are needy in some way, as well. You are attracted to these people because you are in your comfort zone, you know what role to play. It comes naturally to you, probably because you learned these behaviours early on in life, as did they.
The problem comes when you have nothing left to give, or you need some reciprocation and these people get angry that you can't carry on the role they expect of you and are too wrapped up in their own needs to realise that relationships, in whatever form they take, are not a one way street.
Also, it produces anger and resentment in you, which isn't going to help your relationship.
My advice is to take things slowly. Generosity, whether materially, spiritually, emotionally, whatever is an admiral quality, but only give out a little at a time and stop if it is not reciprocated.
Talk about your needs as well, early on, so "I need a little support here from you", or "would you mind helping me with this" for starters, maybe.
Always look to your own behaviour as well as others. After all, its not just about individuals, its about their interactions. Study your interactions.
Jac xxx
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jac379: Always look to your own behaviour as well as others. After all, its not just about individuals, its about their interactions. Study your interactions.
Jac xxx
Jac xxx
Jac, you're a PEACH, and we love ya!!
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You'll find someone...it may not be in the time frame you are hoping for but you just have to keep sorting out the weeds in order to find that flower out there.
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1guylooking0069: I know im scruffy and unkept. But im a good person that has spent most of his life putting others ahead of him self. And I Wil give any thing to anyone if they ask. And ask for nothing in return. and then when I have nothing left to give Im eather not there type or the just treat me like an old pair of socks and toss me aside. Is it a sin to be scruffy shy and over weight. I joined this site to try and find some one but im finding the people here are just as rude and shallow as regular life. And im beginning to think there is no one for me any whare. What about any of you out there have the same isseue
Im sorry you have been hurt this way, it seems the more of a good person you are, the more folk take advantage of you. Learn to discern the good from the bad, and trust your intuition a little more. Take care.
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Hi,
Dont give up if people cant like you for you,You dont want to know them. You seem very nice and I hope you will find there are very nice people here as I did. Sometimes it takes time.
Dont give up if people cant like you for you,You dont want to know them. You seem very nice and I hope you will find there are very nice people here as I did. Sometimes it takes time.
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You are so right girl. 
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Pls be patient, good luck to u, 
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lonelywoman55: Hi,
Dont give up if people cant like you for you,You dont want to know them. You seem very nice and I hope you will find there are very nice people here as I did. Sometimes it takes time.
Dont give up if people cant like you for you,You dont want to know them. You seem very nice and I hope you will find there are very nice people here as I did. Sometimes it takes time.
Yes! I like the list two lines of op the most.
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Laura25: Yes! I like the list two lines of op the most.
hank you ,I find thats the truth.
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1guylooking0069: I know im scruffy and unkept. But im a good person that has spent most of his life putting others ahead of him self. And I Wil give any thing to anyone if they ask. And ask for nothing in return. and then when I have nothing left to give Im eather not there type or the just treat me like an old pair of socks and toss me aside. Is it a sin to be scruffy shy and over weight. I joined this site to try and find some one but im finding the people here are just as rude and shallow as regular life. And im beginning to think there is no one for me any whare. What about any of you out there have the same isseue
Oh yea, same thing here! I even posts a forum bashing women a few days ago. It's called "Stupid Women". Trust me, you're not the only one. It's like the song in "Rhine Stone Cowboy" "Nice guys get washed away like the snow and the Rain"
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It’s never easy to find that right one internet does not make it easier.
I have never had an easy time meeting the ladies but hey i will always keep trying.
I think jac said it very well.
I look at it this way.
This is a place to chat maybe it lucky meet some people but a relation is some that comes with time and equal and shared giving and receiving. If it not both ways it was just one sided and doomed from the beginning.
I have never had an easy time meeting the ladies but hey i will always keep trying.
I think jac said it very well.
I look at it this way.
This is a place to chat maybe it lucky meet some people but a relation is some that comes with time and equal and shared giving and receiving. If it not both ways it was just one sided and doomed from the beginning.
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B38Q39: Oh yea, same thing here! I even posts a forum bashing women a few days ago. It's called "Stupid Women". Trust me, you're not the only one. It's like the song in "Rhine Stone Cowboy" "Nice guys get washed away like the snow and the Rain"
I find that hard to belive,Guys are just as bad thay want the run way modle not a real woman.
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watersports: It’s never easy to find that right one internet does not make it easier.
I have never had an easy time meeting the ladies but hey i will always keep trying.
I think jac said it very well.
I look at it this way.
This is a place to chat maybe it lucky meet some people but a relation is some that comes with time and equal and shared giving and receiving. If it not both ways it was just one sided and doomed from the beginning.
I have never had an easy time meeting the ladies but hey i will always keep trying.
I think jac said it very well.
I look at it this way.
This is a place to chat maybe it lucky meet some people but a relation is some that comes with time and equal and shared giving and receiving. If it not both ways it was just one sided and doomed from the beginning.
Yea, I don't even know why I still keep trying. I just do
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watersports: It’s never easy to find that right one internet does not make it easier.
I have never had an easy time meeting the ladies but hey i will always keep trying.
I think jac said it very well.
I look at it this way.
This is a place to chat maybe it lucky meet some people but a relation is some that comes with time and equal and shared giving and receiving. If it not both ways it was just one sided and doomed from the beginning.
I have never had an easy time meeting the ladies but hey i will always keep trying.
I think jac said it very well.
I look at it this way.
This is a place to chat maybe it lucky meet some people but a relation is some that comes with time and equal and shared giving and receiving. If it not both ways it was just one sided and doomed from the beginning.
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some times we need to make peace with the past before we can move on.No one should blame the people they meet in the future for what happened in the past,The new person didn't do it.......To many times you go on a date and hear ,oh my ex screwed me over,cheated on me,
You don't want to hear this,neither does your date.Free your heart and your mind like you did when you were young,jump right in with no fear..Just enjoy the moment,day to day,if it goes some where thats wonderful,if not you had fun and try again.Finding that right one is never easy for any of us,it takes time to build a real relationship.Good luck sweety..
You don't want to hear this,neither does your date.Free your heart and your mind like you did when you were young,jump right in with no fear..Just enjoy the moment,day to day,if it goes some where thats wonderful,if not you had fun and try again.Finding that right one is never easy for any of us,it takes time to build a real relationship.Good luck sweety.. ------ This thread is Archived ------
demonfairy: some times we need to make peace with the past before we can move on.No one should blame the people they meet in the future for what happened in the past,The new person didn't do it.......To many times you go on a date and hear ,oh my ex screwed me over,cheated on me, You don't want to hear this,neither does your date.Free your heart and your mind like you did when you were young,jump right in with no fear..Just enjoy the moment,day to day,if it goes some where thats wonderful,if not you had fun and try again.Finding that right one is never easy for any of us,it takes time to build a real relationship.Good luck sweety..
Very true............how are you DF
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1guylooking0069: I know im scruffy and unkept. But im a good person that has spent most of his life putting others ahead of him self. And I Wil give any thing to anyone if they ask. And ask for nothing in return. and then when I have nothing left to give Im eather not there type or the just treat me like an old pair of socks and toss me aside. Is it a sin to be scruffy shy and over weight. I joined this site to try and find some one but im finding the people here are just as rude and shallow as regular life. And im beginning to think there is no one for me any whare. What about any of you out there have the same isseue
I hope I dont come across as mean but I have seen many males online who are looking for women outside of their own level and then complain later that they are getting rejected.
One guy messaged me complaining that some very over weight ladies were contacting him & he wasnt interested in that type of lady but he was way overweight himself..Or men who are 55 looking for ladies 23? I blame the media for making it look like women are all suppose to be 10's and have a mate who is a 3..Also if you want a woman in a certain category you can always improve yourself to the same level. ie: go to the gym start buying smart clothes, ect..Or start picking women who are in the same body category as you and in other areas..I know Im not brittney spears and am realistic in my expectations,ie: not expecting brad pitt to show up at my door, but I also wont pick a mate who is way overweight or has no ambitions because I'm not way overweight and I have ambitions..We all have to be realistic in who we pick..If your a nice guy thats a bonus but it also helps to pick women in the same category as what yourself is in because it keeps the rejection level down. I know the dating world can be tough but if we all go into it with realitic expectations then it will make it a bit easier and in time the right one will come along..Huggs and I do mean this with the utmost sincerity as a woman just trying to give helpful advice..
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sultryash: Very true............how are you DF
im great,hope you are...nice picture ------ This thread is Archived ------
Things just take their own time. No one has been over running with me with their emails either. It doesn't make me a bad person and I don't sweat those who think they are a cut above me. Hold on to the faith. 
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Created: Sep 2010
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Last Commented: Sep 2010
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