Relationship patterns ( Archived) (55)

Godsgift said it.... Ignorance is Bliss... or is it.. a resistance to change.. a resistance to do something that alters from the known norm.

Jeez, if you above statement wasn't so obviously sad...it would be laughable...

Ok, so you realise that you're making the same mistakes time and time again.

You take a step back and start to look at the similarities in your chosen relationships.

And then you notice that this echoes the familial dynamics from your childhood.

Then you look at your family members and what circumstances that lead them to interact the way they do and why they chose each other.

You notice more and more skewed dynamics, power imbalances and cycles of behaviour learned from one generation to the next.

You focus on your own family dynamics, try to find different ways, break the cycles of negative behavioural patterns.

Yey! You're getting there!

Then you realise that you've been on your own for so goddam long, you've created another behavioural cycle...

And you realise that maybe your best option is to stick with your favourite washing machine cycle.

Jac xxx

That's exactly what happened to me! I wish you'd posted this years ago but then I wouldn't have listened! Now learning to live with my many imperfections!

I guess I need to stop marrying them, buying a house, moving in, and then "ME" moving out.

Nope. I never make the same mistake twice, only new ones

Interesting thread.

Personally I've never had the situation of one relationship being similar to another at all.
I do look back at relationships which haven't worked for whatever reason and then I won't go looking for a similar person with those same traits (or whatever the negative was).
Do people really just go from one relationship to another and get the same or similar results each time?
Surely people learn from mistakes and know what part of a break up was down to them??

A friend of mine usually goes for the same type of men and has had some very good healthy relationships actually.
She decided last year to take a chance on a guy who had been a friend for a while.
He was very different to others she had been in relationships with.
It turned out to be a total disaster and the man was very high maintenance, insecure and incredibly argumentative.
I met her for lunch a few weeks ago and even though the relationship ened over a year ago and was only very brief he still finds reasons to get in touch with her and won't leave her alone.