For Gordo, Brew, and Geo... from Bri (49)
some girls are just plain mean
gordy22222: some girls are just plain mean
ain't they though...
geo
Quick Hello from Brian
A little boy asks his dad:
whats between mom’s legs?
The father answers:
paradise, my son
The kid asks again:
whats between your legs?
The father replies:
the key to paradise
The son says:
piece of advice dad, change the lock, the neighbour has a copy!
A little boy asks his dad:
whats between mom’s legs?
The father answers:
paradise, my son
The kid asks again:
whats between your legs?
The father replies:
the key to paradise
The son says:
piece of advice dad, change the lock, the neighbour has a copy!
hi guys i aint dead yet .,///but soon
Brian asked me to post this for Brew and Gordo...
From David Letterman show...
Top Ten Reasons Why Men Prefer Guns Over Women And here we go...
#10 - You can trade an old 44 for a new 22.
#9 - You can keep one gun at home and have another for when you're on the road.
#8 - If you admire a friend's gun and tell him so, he will probably let you try it out a few times.
#7 - Your primary gun doesn't mind if you keep another gun for a backup.
#6 - Your gun will stay with you even if you run out of ammo.
#5 - A gun doesn't take up a lot of closet space.
#4 - Guns function normally every day of the month.
#3 - A gun doesn't ask , "Do these new grips make me look fat?"
#2 - A gun doesn't mind if you go to sleep after you use it.
And the Number One reason Why Men Prefer Guns over women.....
#1 - You can buy a silencer for a gun!
Ain't that the truth, so help you.
From David Letterman show...
Top Ten Reasons Why Men Prefer Guns Over Women And here we go...
#10 - You can trade an old 44 for a new 22.
#9 - You can keep one gun at home and have another for when you're on the road.
#8 - If you admire a friend's gun and tell him so, he will probably let you try it out a few times.
#7 - Your primary gun doesn't mind if you keep another gun for a backup.
#6 - Your gun will stay with you even if you run out of ammo.
#5 - A gun doesn't take up a lot of closet space.
#4 - Guns function normally every day of the month.
#3 - A gun doesn't ask , "Do these new grips make me look fat?"
#2 - A gun doesn't mind if you go to sleep after you use it.
And the Number One reason Why Men Prefer Guns over women.....
#1 - You can buy a silencer for a gun!
Ain't that the truth, so help you.
yes, but kinda funny you have to admit!!!Thought Brian would like this one..well, and everyone for that matter:
I was in the restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately needed to pass gas. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my gas with the beat of the music.
After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my coffee, and noticed that everybody was staring at me....
Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod.
...and how was your day?
eyesthatknowwhy: yes, but kinda funny you have to admit!!!
Thought Brian would like this one..well, and everyone for that matter:I was in the restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately needed to pass gas. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my gas with the beat of the music.
After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my coffee, and noticed that everybody was staring at me....
Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod.
...and how was your day?
Thought Brian would like this one..well, and everyone for that matter:I was in the restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately needed to pass gas. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my gas with the beat of the music.
After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my coffee, and noticed that everybody was staring at me....
Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod.
...and how was your day?
Gas??? Sounds like you are channeling Brian.
Two aunts are visiting from Ireland. I'm dealing with the flu that keeps coming back like a bad habit. (grrr) Other than that, things are going well.
Not sure if you saw this on Facebook, but I'll post it here. Too beautiful not to share. Hope you and yours are doing well.
I was recently asked if I tweet. I answered, No, but I do toot a lot."
KHD100: I was recently asked if I tweet. I answered, No, but I do toot a lot."
What do you expect from an old gas bag
Brew01: What do you expect from an old gas bag
Trucker told us you were definitely an old gas blaster... if we could bottle or contain it, the world's gas crisis would be over. I have yet to figure out how sour gas could be useful...
KHD100: Trucker told us you were definitely an old gas blaster... if we could bottle or contain it, the world's gas crisis would be over. I have yet to figure out how sour gas could be useful...
Way to go KHD give him what for and your are right he is an old gas blaster, I should know right. 
KHD100: Trucker told us you were definitely an old gas blaster... if we could bottle or contain it, the world's gas crisis would be over. I have yet to figure out how sour gas could be useful...
For starters Kim, I'll have you know, when (which is VERY rarely)I do "break wind" they smell so sweet even mother nature gets jealous, because I smell sweeter then the roses that bloom in the summer, and as for Trucker, I really wouldn't take much stock in what she says. She's so senile, last night she threw the front room lamp across the room, looked at our cat and screamed, FETCH !!!
A guy walks into a redneck bar in West Virginia and orders a white wine. All the hillbillies sitting around the bar look up, expecting to see some pitiful Yankee from the north.
The bartender says, "You ain't from around here, are ya?"
The guy says, "No, I'm from Canada .”
The bartender says, "What do you do in Canada ?”
The guy says, "I'm a taxidermist..."
The bartender says, "A taxidermist? What in tar-nation is a taxidermist? Do you drive a taxi?"
"No, a taxidermist doesn't drive a taxi. I mount animals."
The bartender grins and hollers, "It's okay boys. He's one of us."
The bartender says, "You ain't from around here, are ya?"
The guy says, "No, I'm from Canada .”
The bartender says, "What do you do in Canada ?”
The guy says, "I'm a taxidermist..."
The bartender says, "A taxidermist? What in tar-nation is a taxidermist? Do you drive a taxi?"
"No, a taxidermist doesn't drive a taxi. I mount animals."
The bartender grins and hollers, "It's okay boys. He's one of us."
KHD100: A guy walks into a redneck bar in West Virginia and orders a white wine. All the hillbillies sitting around the bar look up, expecting to see some pitiful Yankee from the north.
The bartender says, "You ain't from around here, are ya?"
The guy says, "No, I'm from Canada .”
The bartender says, "What do you do in Canada ?”
The guy says, "I'm a taxidermist..."
The bartender says, "A taxidermist? What in tar-nation is a taxidermist? Do you drive a taxi?"
"No, a taxidermist doesn't drive a taxi. I mount animals."
The bartender grins and hollers, "It's okay boys. He's one of us."
The bartender says, "You ain't from around here, are ya?"
The guy says, "No, I'm from Canada .”
The bartender says, "What do you do in Canada ?”
The guy says, "I'm a taxidermist..."
The bartender says, "A taxidermist? What in tar-nation is a taxidermist? Do you drive a taxi?"
"No, a taxidermist doesn't drive a taxi. I mount animals."
The bartender grins and hollers, "It's okay boys. He's one of us."
Good one kid
Brew01: For starters Kim, I'll have you know, when (which is VERY rarely)I do "break wind" they smell so sweet even mother nature gets jealous, because I smell sweeter then the roses that bloom in the summer, !!!
You and Brian must come from the same planet .... World of Delusional Males.
Brew, Trucker wants you to listen very carefully and learn the lesson in this video...
KHD100: Brew, Trucker wants you to listen very carefully and learn the lesson in this video...
Too lateThe Dark Side of Women
A woman was in town on a shopping trip. She began her day by finding the most perfect shoes in the first shop and a beautiful dress on sale slashed by 75 percent in the second. In the third, everything had just been reduced by 50 percent when her mobile phone rang.
It was a female doctor notifying her that her husband had just been in a terrible car accident and was in critical condition in the ICU. The woman told the doctor to inform her husband where she was and that she'd be there as soon as possible.
As she hung up she realized she was leaving what was shaping up to be her best day ever in the boutiques. She decided to get in a couple more shops before heading to the hospital. She ended up shopping the rest of the morning, finishing her trip with a cup of coffee and a beautiful chocolate cake slice, compliments of the last shop. She was jubilant.
Then she remembered her husband. Feeling guilty, she dashed to the hospital. She saw the woman doctor in the corridor and asked about her husband's condition.
The doctor glared at her and shouted, "You went ahead and finished your shopping trip, didn't you!? I hope you're proud of yourself! While you were out for the past four hours enjoying yourself in town, your husband has been languishing in pain in the Intensive Care Unit! It's just as well you went ahead and finished, because it will more than likely be the last shopping trip you'll ever take! For the rest of his life he will require round-the-clock
care. And he will now be your career!"
The woman, overcome with guilt, broke down and sobbed.
The woman doctor chuckled and said, "I'm just messing with you. He's dead. Show me what you bought."
A woman was in town on a shopping trip. She began her day by finding the most perfect shoes in the first shop and a beautiful dress on sale slashed by 75 percent in the second. In the third, everything had just been reduced by 50 percent when her mobile phone rang.
It was a female doctor notifying her that her husband had just been in a terrible car accident and was in critical condition in the ICU. The woman told the doctor to inform her husband where she was and that she'd be there as soon as possible.
As she hung up she realized she was leaving what was shaping up to be her best day ever in the boutiques. She decided to get in a couple more shops before heading to the hospital. She ended up shopping the rest of the morning, finishing her trip with a cup of coffee and a beautiful chocolate cake slice, compliments of the last shop. She was jubilant.
Then she remembered her husband. Feeling guilty, she dashed to the hospital. She saw the woman doctor in the corridor and asked about her husband's condition.
The doctor glared at her and shouted, "You went ahead and finished your shopping trip, didn't you!? I hope you're proud of yourself! While you were out for the past four hours enjoying yourself in town, your husband has been languishing in pain in the Intensive Care Unit! It's just as well you went ahead and finished, because it will more than likely be the last shopping trip you'll ever take! For the rest of his life he will require round-the-clock
care. And he will now be your career!"
The woman, overcome with guilt, broke down and sobbed.
The woman doctor chuckled and said, "I'm just messing with you. He's dead. Show me what you bought."
Brew01: Kim if I were your old man, I wouldn't waste my time with a club and a spade, I'd just have a stick of dynamite and a bottle of rye. I'd throw the rye on the floor, and when you bent over to pick it up..BOOM !!! end of problem.
Me bend over for a bottle of rye???? would not work. If you threw a bottle of anything on the floor, it's your mess to clean up. ( do you really think I'd fall for that stupid trick?... your are definitely delusional!!!)
A club and a spade (according to Brian is much cheaper) and he would not waste the dynamite because he needs it for fishing.
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- So, . . .
- One week of the most outrageous GOP leadership!
- If Our Profiles Were Truly Honest
- Have it both ways!
- Trump on Trial
- Who will be The Last Person To Post... VERSION FOUR
- Keep It Going!
- Say Anything Again
- Should CS charge EVERYone a fee to keep fake profiles and scammers out?
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A man was sitting on a blanket at the beach. He had no arms and no legs.
Three women, from England, Wales, and Scotland, were walking past and felt sorry for the poor man.
The English woman said 'Have you ever had a hug?' The man said 'No,' so she gave him a hug and walked on.
The welsh woman said, 'Have you ever had a kiss?' The man said, 'No,' so she gave him a kiss and walked on.
The Scottish woman came to him and said, 'Have you ever been f--ked?' The man broke into a big smile and said, 'No.'
She said, 'You will be when the tide comes in.'