An honest answer! (13)

hi Koste .. good to meet you

Interesting point you are making .. asking for honesty is commendable in my opinion .. however we can't really talk about things in a vacuum .. could you supply some examples of the things you are speaking about? - if that's beneficial to the point you are making ..

my gut reaction is that some (perhaps most) of what you have noticed comes from the limitations imposed by the means we are using to communicate .. namely the lack of eye contact and intonation, and a whole range of other things usually taken for granted in daily discourse .. it's a very cold medium we are using and .. for the most part .. we are strangers with no background information of the other participants ..

One telling point for me is that very often on here the two parties walk away from the discourse on the forums each feeling they are the one who has been wronged .. there rarely seems to be a way to deal with the matter in a mutually agreeable manner .. I am guilty of this far too often and far more than I should be ..

for example, sometimes I try to clarify my point in a post - thinking if only the other person would understand this one point, the waters will be calmed - and all that seems to happen is that I make the hole far bigger than it was in the first place .. trying to stop that happening by seeing what I am doing wrong .. and when I should actually move on ... is where I am at now ..

how about you? how can you contribute to making this site more enjoyable for all concerned? - if indeed there is a way .. I think that if we all examine our own personal contribution to the forum, maybe we can create the kind of place you - and I and everybody else - want to see .. do you agree?

again, great to meet you ..

Koste .. I think the answer to your thread might lay in your reply .. maybe the other people (the ones you are calling honchos) have built up a relationship with the other posters so they (the other posters) understand the sentiments behind those posts in a way that is lacking with you and your posts .. although we are chatting online, many of the everyday basic discourse rules still apply .. do you agree? .. if so, what do you think answer might be? ..

I have a couple of suggestions if you don't mind me sharing them with you .. how about either taking the time to build up the relationships so people have background information about you and are less likely to misunderstand your intentions .. or change the content of your posts so they can't be misconstrued in the way you feel they are being .. what do you think? ..

I feel that you are right in a way, just that it seems to me that those pit bosses as well as the hooligans and bullies and their wanna-bees and supporters most probably live a lonely life somewhere.

In short - ignore, smile and keep going strong

I favour common (eu-version) courtesy, but in rest we should let our true colours shine or we will never find that match!