When will they realise I am an adult? (17)
luxurious problem
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Invite them down to visit you.
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Pookster: Hi guys,
I am the youngest of 9 children..all from the same parents. I moved to Florida last December. In November I had come here because my ex husband and I were trying to reconcile. It didn't work out, but we parted amicably. I decided to stay in Florida rather than go back to Rhode Island. A few weeks after moving I was talking to my oldest brother and he asked me why I didn't move back to Rhode Island seeing how most of the family lived there, I explained that I wanted to stay in FL. I liked the warm weather and am experiencing some severe arthritis in my back, the cold doesn't help so, stay where it's warm..duh! He got pretty upset and told me he didn't think it was a good idea because the family would worry about me. I told him I'm a big girl now..I'm 45..and could handle being away from the "safety" of my family. Well, he wasn't too happy, but I gotta do what I gotta do for me, not to please anyone else. Since then, I haven't heard from many of my sibs. It's almost as if they wrote me off because I didn't do what they thought I should do.
Any suggestions? Thanks in advance!
Pookie
I am the youngest of 9 children..all from the same parents. I moved to Florida last December. In November I had come here because my ex husband and I were trying to reconcile. It didn't work out, but we parted amicably. I decided to stay in Florida rather than go back to Rhode Island. A few weeks after moving I was talking to my oldest brother and he asked me why I didn't move back to Rhode Island seeing how most of the family lived there, I explained that I wanted to stay in FL. I liked the warm weather and am experiencing some severe arthritis in my back, the cold doesn't help so, stay where it's warm..duh! He got pretty upset and told me he didn't think it was a good idea because the family would worry about me. I told him I'm a big girl now..I'm 45..and could handle being away from the "safety" of my family. Well, he wasn't too happy, but I gotta do what I gotta do for me, not to please anyone else. Since then, I haven't heard from many of my sibs. It's almost as if they wrote me off because I didn't do what they thought I should do.
Any suggestions? Thanks in advance!
Pookie
damn... your parents had some quality time .....
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I know to some degree what you are going through. After my divorce I moved from Arizona to Texas. Once I did my siblings never had another thing to do with me. It's like I had the plague or something. Like you, I gotta do what's best for me. If they want to know what's going on in my life then they know how to reach me and I them. I do love them and, like you, I am the youngest in the family. It hurts but it's what I have to do for me.
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Hey Pookie, hmm isn't that Garfields teddy bear lol, You do what you have to do, if the warm weather suite your back your family will just have to understand. Coming from Minnesota myself I can understand the draw to a warmer climate, might try it myself after I retire. Best wishes to you I hope your family excepts your decision..
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Tell them they ought to move to Florida, or your oldest brother move to Rhode Island, then Florida would be all yours.....problem solved.
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Pookster: Hi guys,
I am the youngest of 9 children..all from the same parents. I moved to Florida last December. In November I had come here because my ex husband and I were trying to reconcile. It didn't work out, but we parted amicably. I decided to stay in Florida rather than go back to Rhode Island. A few weeks after moving I was talking to my oldest brother and he asked me why I didn't move back to Rhode Island seeing how most of the family lived there, I explained that I wanted to stay in FL. I liked the warm weather and am experiencing some severe arthritis in my back, the cold doesn't help so, stay where it's warm..duh! He got pretty upset and told me he didn't think it was a good idea because the family would worry about me. I told him I'm a big girl now..I'm 45..and could handle being away from the "safety" of my family. Well, he wasn't too happy, but I gotta do what I gotta do for me, not to please anyone else. Since then, I haven't heard from many of my sibs. It's almost as if they wrote me off because I didn't do what they thought I should do.
Any suggestions? Thanks in advance!
Pookie
I am the youngest of 9 children..all from the same parents. I moved to Florida last December. In November I had come here because my ex husband and I were trying to reconcile. It didn't work out, but we parted amicably. I decided to stay in Florida rather than go back to Rhode Island. A few weeks after moving I was talking to my oldest brother and he asked me why I didn't move back to Rhode Island seeing how most of the family lived there, I explained that I wanted to stay in FL. I liked the warm weather and am experiencing some severe arthritis in my back, the cold doesn't help so, stay where it's warm..duh! He got pretty upset and told me he didn't think it was a good idea because the family would worry about me. I told him I'm a big girl now..I'm 45..and could handle being away from the "safety" of my family. Well, he wasn't too happy, but I gotta do what I gotta do for me, not to please anyone else. Since then, I haven't heard from many of my sibs. It's almost as if they wrote me off because I didn't do what they thought I should do.
Any suggestions? Thanks in advance!
Pookie
I have the same problem with my family.Took myself off to Spain at 62 but now back in the U.K. Very rarely here from family and have now reached the stage in my life whereby I am more important and put myself first.
I have a notice on my home.
Friends are welcome anytime.
Family by appointment only.
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Parents (and siblings to a point) will always be that...parents..doesn't matter how old you are...
My way of dealing with this was was not giving them the opening or the impression that their advice/input was going to change my decision. Discussing my decisions with my family never failed to be interpreted as me asking them what they thought i should do...so I just started doing whatever i felt best...thanking them for sharing their concerns once i had already done it...and then changing subjects.
Pookie/Pookster...pet name?
My way of dealing with this was was not giving them the opening or the impression that their advice/input was going to change my decision. Discussing my decisions with my family never failed to be interpreted as me asking them what they thought i should do...so I just started doing whatever i felt best...thanking them for sharing their concerns once i had already done it...and then changing subjects.
Pookie/Pookster...pet name?
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wikked: Parents (and siblings to a point) will always be that...parents..doesn't matter how old you are...
My way of dealing with this was was not giving them the opening or the impression that their advice/input was going to change my decision. Discussing my decisions with my family never failed to be interpreted as me asking them what they thought i should do...so I just started doing whatever i felt best...thanking them for sharing their concerns once i had already done it...and then changing subjects.
Pookie/Pookster...pet name?
My way of dealing with this was was not giving them the opening or the impression that their advice/input was going to change my decision. Discussing my decisions with my family never failed to be interpreted as me asking them what they thought i should do...so I just started doing whatever i felt best...thanking them for sharing their concerns once i had already done it...and then changing subjects.
Pookie/Pookster...pet name?
Yes, my Dad used to call me Pookie. Someone already had that name on here so I picked Pookster. lol
Thanks for your response. It makes sense...
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wikked: Parents (and siblings to a point) will always be that...parents..doesn't matter how old you are...
My way of dealing with this was was not giving them the opening or the impression that their advice/input was going to change my decision. Discussing my decisions with my family never failed to be interpreted as me asking them what they thought i should do...so I just started doing whatever i felt best...thanking them for sharing their concerns once i had already done it...and then changing subjects.
Pookie/Pookster...pet name?
Yes, for some reason discussing decisions with family tends to open yourself up to their opinions. Geesss.. My way of dealing with this was was not giving them the opening or the impression that their advice/input was going to change my decision. Discussing my decisions with my family never failed to be interpreted as me asking them what they thought i should do...so I just started doing whatever i felt best...thanking them for sharing their concerns once i had already done it...and then changing subjects.
Pookie/Pookster...pet name?
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bestbefore: I have the same problem with my family.Took myself off to Spain at 62 but now back in the U.K. Very rarely here from family and have now reached the stage in my life whereby I am more important and put myself first.
I have a notice on my home.
Friends are welcome anytime.
Family by appointment only.
This makes me sad. Aren't relationships hard!I have a notice on my home.
Friends are welcome anytime.
Family by appointment only.
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Pookster: Hi guys,
I am the youngest of 9 children..all from the same parents. I moved to Florida last December. In November I had come here because my ex husband and I were trying to reconcile. It didn't work out, but we parted amicably. I decided to stay in Florida rather than go back to Rhode Island. A few weeks after moving I was talking to my oldest brother and he asked me why I didn't move back to Rhode Island seeing how most of the family lived there, I explained that I wanted to stay in FL. I liked the warm weather and am experiencing some severe arthritis in my back, the cold doesn't help so, stay where it's warm..duh! He got pretty upset and told me he didn't think it was a good idea because the family would worry about me. I told him I'm a big girl now..I'm 45..and could handle being away from the "safety" of my family. Well, he wasn't too happy, but I gotta do what I gotta do for me, not to please anyone else. Since then, I haven't heard from many of my sibs. It's almost as if they wrote me off because I didn't do what they thought I should do.
Any suggestions? Thanks in advance!
Pookie
Possibly they were hurt that you did not move back because they want you present in their lives. How wonderful to have such a big family. You have one life and only you can find what makes you happy. Take care. I am the youngest of 9 children..all from the same parents. I moved to Florida last December. In November I had come here because my ex husband and I were trying to reconcile. It didn't work out, but we parted amicably. I decided to stay in Florida rather than go back to Rhode Island. A few weeks after moving I was talking to my oldest brother and he asked me why I didn't move back to Rhode Island seeing how most of the family lived there, I explained that I wanted to stay in FL. I liked the warm weather and am experiencing some severe arthritis in my back, the cold doesn't help so, stay where it's warm..duh! He got pretty upset and told me he didn't think it was a good idea because the family would worry about me. I told him I'm a big girl now..I'm 45..and could handle being away from the "safety" of my family. Well, he wasn't too happy, but I gotta do what I gotta do for me, not to please anyone else. Since then, I haven't heard from many of my sibs. It's almost as if they wrote me off because I didn't do what they thought I should do.
Any suggestions? Thanks in advance!
Pookie
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Pookster: Hi guys,
I am the youngest of 9 children..all from the same parents. I moved to Florida last December. In November I had come here because my ex husband and I were trying to reconcile. It didn't work out, but we parted amicably. I decided to stay in Florida rather than go back to Rhode Island. A few weeks after moving I was talking to my oldest brother and he asked me why I didn't move back to Rhode Island seeing how most of the family lived there, I explained that I wanted to stay in FL. I liked the warm weather and am experiencing some severe arthritis in my back, the cold doesn't help so, stay where it's warm..duh! He got pretty upset and told me he didn't think it was a good idea because the family would worry about me. I told him I'm a big girl now..I'm 45..and could handle being away from the "safety" of my family. Well, he wasn't too happy, but I gotta do what I gotta do for me, not to please anyone else. Since then, I haven't heard from many of my sibs. It's almost as if they wrote me off because I didn't do what they thought I should do.
Any suggestions? Thanks in advance!
Pookie
I am the youngest of 9 children..all from the same parents. I moved to Florida last December. In November I had come here because my ex husband and I were trying to reconcile. It didn't work out, but we parted amicably. I decided to stay in Florida rather than go back to Rhode Island. A few weeks after moving I was talking to my oldest brother and he asked me why I didn't move back to Rhode Island seeing how most of the family lived there, I explained that I wanted to stay in FL. I liked the warm weather and am experiencing some severe arthritis in my back, the cold doesn't help so, stay where it's warm..duh! He got pretty upset and told me he didn't think it was a good idea because the family would worry about me. I told him I'm a big girl now..I'm 45..and could handle being away from the "safety" of my family. Well, he wasn't too happy, but I gotta do what I gotta do for me, not to please anyone else. Since then, I haven't heard from many of my sibs. It's almost as if they wrote me off because I didn't do what they thought I should do.
Any suggestions? Thanks in advance!
Pookie
I´m the oldest of my three siblings and my two brothers are exactly the same...protective and worried when I move around from country to country. However, they have never "written me off" as you say, and remain in constant contact with me.
Look, families nowadays often live far apart from each other. Keeping in contact and visiting as often as possible is the key.
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Just a guess but you're Hispanic right?
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My parents and siblings freaked when I told them I was leaving the state and going to the other side of the U.S. for a week. I told them to hush and give me a ride to the airport......and feed the horses and dogs while I was gone.
I know and understand what you are saying. My family is very possessive as well. They are learning that I don't care what they say and I'll do what I want. In fact, if they harp too much I can get really loud...so they tend to shut up and let me alone.
Pick up the phone and call them from time to time to say hi and that you are okay. That way they can't say that you moved and cut off ALL communication with them. Eventually they may come around and may even seek to come visit with you to get away from their cold environment.
The hardest thing for some families to accept is that you're all grown up and can take care of yourself.
I know and understand what you are saying. My family is very possessive as well. They are learning that I don't care what they say and I'll do what I want. In fact, if they harp too much I can get really loud...so they tend to shut up and let me alone.
Pick up the phone and call them from time to time to say hi and that you are okay. That way they can't say that you moved and cut off ALL communication with them. Eventually they may come around and may even seek to come visit with you to get away from their cold environment.
The hardest thing for some families to accept is that you're all grown up and can take care of yourself.
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Pookster: Hi guys,
I am the youngest of 9 children..all from the same parents. I moved to Florida last December. In November I had come here because my ex husband and I were trying to reconcile. It didn't work out, but we parted amicably. I decided to stay in Florida rather than go back to Rhode Island. A few weeks after moving I was talking to my oldest brother and he asked me why I didn't move back to Rhode Island seeing how most of the family lived there, I explained that I wanted to stay in FL. I liked the warm weather and am experiencing some severe arthritis in my back, the cold doesn't help so, stay where it's warm..duh! He got pretty upset and told me he didn't think it was a good idea because the family would worry about me. I told him I'm a big girl now..I'm 45..and could handle being away from the "safety" of my family. Well, he wasn't too happy, but I gotta do what I gotta do for me, not to please anyone else. Since then, I haven't heard from many of my sibs. It's almost as if they wrote me off because I didn't do what they thought I should do.
Any suggestions? Thanks in advance!
Pookie
I am the youngest of 9 children..all from the same parents. I moved to Florida last December. In November I had come here because my ex husband and I were trying to reconcile. It didn't work out, but we parted amicably. I decided to stay in Florida rather than go back to Rhode Island. A few weeks after moving I was talking to my oldest brother and he asked me why I didn't move back to Rhode Island seeing how most of the family lived there, I explained that I wanted to stay in FL. I liked the warm weather and am experiencing some severe arthritis in my back, the cold doesn't help so, stay where it's warm..duh! He got pretty upset and told me he didn't think it was a good idea because the family would worry about me. I told him I'm a big girl now..I'm 45..and could handle being away from the "safety" of my family. Well, he wasn't too happy, but I gotta do what I gotta do for me, not to please anyone else. Since then, I haven't heard from many of my sibs. It's almost as if they wrote me off because I didn't do what they thought I should do.
Any suggestions? Thanks in advance!
Pookie
when they are sincerely loving you, it shouldn't does any matter where you are living
and as you said, you are no child anymore, it's your own decision
you will know, where you are happy to life, it's not the decision of your brother or of your family, if he talks for all of them
stay where you are feeling well
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I am the youngest of 9 children..all from the same parents. I moved to Florida last December. In November I had come here because my ex husband and I were trying to reconcile. It didn't work out, but we parted amicably. I decided to stay in Florida rather than go back to Rhode Island. A few weeks after moving I was talking to my oldest brother and he asked me why I didn't move back to Rhode Island seeing how most of the family lived there, I explained that I wanted to stay in FL. I liked the warm weather and am experiencing some severe arthritis in my back, the cold doesn't help so, stay where it's warm..duh! He got pretty upset and told me he didn't think it was a good idea because the family would worry about me. I told him I'm a big girl now..I'm 45..and could handle being away from the "safety" of my family. Well, he wasn't too happy, but I gotta do what I gotta do for me, not to please anyone else. Since then, I haven't heard from many of my sibs. It's almost as if they wrote me off because I didn't do what they thought I should do.
Any suggestions? Thanks in advance!
Pookie