Rebound relationships ( Archived) (12)

I've found that when I first split from my LTR I dated extensively and wasn't ready to face life on my own wanting a man's company at all costs. With time I seem to have lost interest in pointless dating and am taking my time to get to know men gradually. My ex jumped into another relationship two months after our split. A relative who has recently divorced jumped into another relationship claiming she's not being choosy. Looking back I'm glad none of my dates developed into a relationship as they were all wrong for me. Whereas before I'd accept dates just to get out of the house I now enjoy staying in and unless I get to know a person on the phone or on chat would not jump into dating again. Have you experienced the panic that comes with the rebound? Are relationships on the rebound based on a solid foundation? Do we choose well when on the rebound? What are your thoughts?

The guy, I was with a year after a very long-term relationship with someone else had ended, became weirdly obsessed with his predecessor. He insisted that I was on the rebound and really just using him. In the end I was so exasperated that I told him he had been right all along and dumped him.

Know where you're coming from but think that this is just to to with the new partner's own insecurities in themselves...nothing to do with you unless you are bringing your ex into the new relationship too often. Everyone has a past so new partners must realise this and also realise that past is the past...wise move dumping him I'd say.

Oh, it was definitely his insecurities, it was really annoying. But looking back, if he hadn't become obsessed with my ex, it would probably have been something else...

You have started to see ,you opened your eyes

For me I think timing is everything. If ur break-up was painful and ur heart is in pain, pain is what u will take into your new relationship. If ur ex was unfaithful, then u might suspect the new kid on the block may try to pull the same thing. There is a reason that they call them rebound....Time is a healer, and u need time to heal before jumping back in the water.

I think that when we are on the "rebound" we try to prove to ourselves that we still " got it"..that we are still desirable..no matter if male oe female..and I think seldom do we stick with next few who come after..we don't do this "proving to ourselves" on a concious level..but we do it..JMO

I dated a man exclusively for 3 yrs. but with an off and on history of 8 years following my divorce.

We lived together and got engaged, he cheated on me, I dumped him like yesterdays garbage that happened in Nov. 4 years ago.

Fast forward the following, 8 weeks later Jan., he calls me to inform me he has getting married. I felt like I had the wind kicked out of me..here I was just beginning to recover from the shock and pain of ending what to me was supposed to be my last relationship and he had moved on.

Rebounded to a new woman, got married, had a child and now this past spring...his wife found out how he is and divorced him.

So, no in my experience, this type of situation never works out, JMHO. A person does not choose "well" in a redound situation, but rather is looking for a replacement for the person they lost.

Getting over a broken relationship takes time, esp. when it was serious. I have been single for long, long, while now and I don't go bouncing from man to man because, when the right one comes along finally, I'll be darned if I'm going to be caught wasting my time w/ someone not right for me.