How and when do you say goodbye? (25)
im so sorry to hear that..i have no words that wud comfort u
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hello lilmamma, 
while i agree with you that life is one and has to be lived in a best of possible ways i also think that we don't live to please our family or who loves us...
there are persons for whom some values can be more important than their life...
i have recently talked here about Mario Monicelli, italian director of comedies, that commited a suicide a couple of weeks ago and he was 94 yrs old...
i consider it an act of extreme courage and dignity...
some years ago there was also a case of Raul Gardini, italian businessman, who shooted himself before the cops arrived to arrest him...
in japanese culture there is a harakiri...a honour code for samurai to conserve their dignity while loosing their life...
i guess we are given the freedom of choice that we can use according to our individual perspective...
while i agree with you that life is one and has to be lived in a best of possible ways i also think that we don't live to please our family or who loves us...
there are persons for whom some values can be more important than their life...
i have recently talked here about Mario Monicelli, italian director of comedies, that commited a suicide a couple of weeks ago and he was 94 yrs old...
i consider it an act of extreme courage and dignity...
some years ago there was also a case of Raul Gardini, italian businessman, who shooted himself before the cops arrived to arrest him...
in japanese culture there is a harakiri...a honour code for samurai to conserve their dignity while loosing their life...
i guess we are given the freedom of choice that we can use according to our individual perspective...
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lucynad: hello lilmamma,
while i agree with you that life is one and has to be lived in a best of possible ways i also think that we don't live to please our family or who loves us...
there are persons for whom some values can be more important than their life...
i have recently talked here about Mario Monicelli, italian director of comedies, that commited a suicide a couple of weeks ago and he was 94 yrs old...
i consider it an act of extreme courage and dignity...
some years ago there was also a case of Raul Gardini, italian businessman, who shooted himself before the cops arrived to arrest him...
in japanese culture there is a harakiri...a honour code for samurai to conserve their dignity while loosing their life...i guess we are given the freedom of choice that we can use according to our individual perspective...
while i agree with you that life is one and has to be lived in a best of possible ways i also think that we don't live to please our family or who loves us...
there are persons for whom some values can be more important than their life...
i have recently talked here about Mario Monicelli, italian director of comedies, that commited a suicide a couple of weeks ago and he was 94 yrs old...
i consider it an act of extreme courage and dignity...
some years ago there was also a case of Raul Gardini, italian businessman, who shooted himself before the cops arrived to arrest him...
in japanese culture there is a harakiri...a honour code for samurai to conserve their dignity while loosing their life...i guess we are given the freedom of choice that we can use according to our individual perspective...
Thank you Lucy i shall try to find solace and comfort in what you have said.
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Hey D
Oh darlin don't try and shoulder the blame yourself.
I had the same thing happen to me several years ago and try as we might to understand the why's and wherefores of this we never will.
This is because, hopefully we are of sound mind, unfortunately, your friend and mine was not at the time.
It is not usually something done on a whim, and not I believe done thru cowardice or lack of love and consideration for ones family and friends.
Rather it is being in such a dark place and feeling so helpless and useless to all those round you it is seen in a twisted way of relieveing your family from the burden of having to cope with you.
Its hard to understand and easy to blame oneself for not seeing what we feel should have been so obvious to see, but people who have reached this point and are serious about it do not show the inner turmoil.
In fact statisctics show just before they actually take the final step they can appear to be happier than they have in a long time.
This is because they know their suffering will soon be over.
Yes it may appear to be selfish and unforgivable, but hunni dont let the bitterness skew your overall feelings for your friend.
You didnt fail, he just couldnt handle things any more.
Oh darlin don't try and shoulder the blame yourself.
I had the same thing happen to me several years ago and try as we might to understand the why's and wherefores of this we never will.
This is because, hopefully we are of sound mind, unfortunately, your friend and mine was not at the time.
It is not usually something done on a whim, and not I believe done thru cowardice or lack of love and consideration for ones family and friends.
Rather it is being in such a dark place and feeling so helpless and useless to all those round you it is seen in a twisted way of relieveing your family from the burden of having to cope with you.
Its hard to understand and easy to blame oneself for not seeing what we feel should have been so obvious to see, but people who have reached this point and are serious about it do not show the inner turmoil.
In fact statisctics show just before they actually take the final step they can appear to be happier than they have in a long time.
This is because they know their suffering will soon be over.
Yes it may appear to be selfish and unforgivable, but hunni dont let the bitterness skew your overall feelings for your friend.
You didnt fail, he just couldnt handle things any more.
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Im so sorry for your loss. I dont have great words of wisdom to share 
just the I hope that soon you will think of your friend and remember the wonderful times that you both shared. I hope that your friends and family will help you to carry this terrible loss you are facing
just the I hope that soon you will think of your friend and remember the wonderful times that you both shared. I hope that your friends and family will help you to carry this terrible loss you are facing ------ This thread is Archived ------
It's my understanding that when someone tells others that they are going to commit suicide that they do. So if you know someone who says that they want to kill themself, take it seriously.
solsticemoon: Hey D
Oh darlin don't try and shoulder the blame yourself.
I had the same thing happen to me several years ago and try as we might to understand the why's and wherefores of this we never will.
This is because, hopefully we are of sound mind, unfortunately, your friend and mine was not at the time.
It is not usually something done on a whim, and not I believe done thru cowardice or lack of love and consideration for ones family and friends.
Rather it is being in such a dark place and feeling so helpless and useless to all those round you it is seen in a twisted way of relieveing your family from the burden of having to cope with you.
Its hard to understand and easy to blame oneself for not seeing what we feel should have been so obvious to see, but people who have reached this point and are serious about it do not show the inner turmoil.
In fact statisctics show just before they actually take the final step they can appear to be happier than they have in a long time.
This is because they know their suffering will soon be over.
Yes it may appear to be selfish and unforgivable, but hunni dont let the bitterness skew your overall feelings for your friend.
You didnt fail, he just couldnt handle things any more.
Oh darlin don't try and shoulder the blame yourself.
I had the same thing happen to me several years ago and try as we might to understand the why's and wherefores of this we never will.
This is because, hopefully we are of sound mind, unfortunately, your friend and mine was not at the time.
It is not usually something done on a whim, and not I believe done thru cowardice or lack of love and consideration for ones family and friends.
Rather it is being in such a dark place and feeling so helpless and useless to all those round you it is seen in a twisted way of relieveing your family from the burden of having to cope with you.
Its hard to understand and easy to blame oneself for not seeing what we feel should have been so obvious to see, but people who have reached this point and are serious about it do not show the inner turmoil.
In fact statisctics show just before they actually take the final step they can appear to be happier than they have in a long time.
This is because they know their suffering will soon be over.
Yes it may appear to be selfish and unforgivable, but hunni dont let the bitterness skew your overall feelings for your friend.
You didnt fail, he just couldnt handle things any more.
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Hi Lil'm, It sounds devastating, frustrating and sad. Sorry for your loss....
Sometime people don't think that anyone is listening anymore, it's not you its the way the perceive reality. Really hard to help if you aren't around them 24/7 and know every side of their personality.
Sometimes ourselves are our biggest enemy.
I suppose we need to show more love to those who would never expect or experience it.
Give you strength hun
Sometime people don't think that anyone is listening anymore, it's not you its the way the perceive reality. Really hard to help if you aren't around them 24/7 and know every side of their personality.
Sometimes ourselves are our biggest enemy.
I suppose we need to show more love to those who would never expect or experience it.
Give you strength hun
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Leanybean: It's my understanding that when someone tells others that they are going to commit suicide that they do. So if you know someone who says that they want to kill themself, take it seriously.
Of course if people tell you then its to be taken seriously. But its my understanding from reading the post that the OP did not have any idea this was on her friends mind.
It was the same thing for me with my friend, he gave no indication he was feeling so desperate.
So its very difficult to be there for someone if you are unaware there is a problem.
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I spent all christmas day looking down a barrel of a .44, if it wasnt for my son ,Iwhouldnt be here now talking to anyone. Holidays sucks when you have been alone too long
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god bless it happens alot around the holidays before new yrs.may god have mercy on their souls.
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rebelluvr: I spent all christmas day looking down a barrel of a .44, if it wasnt for my son ,Iwhouldnt be here now talking to anyone. Holidays sucks when you have been alone too long
glad u had someone who cares there may next yr.be better!------ This thread is Archived ------
rebelluvr: I spent all christmas day looking down a barrel of a .44, if it wasnt for my son ,Iwhouldnt be here now talking to anyone. Holidays sucks when you have been alone too long
My dear man, please don't even consider it ever again...life is too short as it is and believe me, you are not alone.....EVER!!!!
This song has helped me many times.....
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rebelluvr: I spent all christmas day looking down a barrel of a .44, if it wasnt for my son ,Iwhouldnt be here now talking to anyone. Holidays sucks when you have been alone too long
holidays sucks, anyway rebelluvr ;-) it is just in their commemorative nature
try to cheer up...this song has been heard arround a lot here in italy
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rebelluvr: I spent all christmas day looking down a barrel of a .44, if it wasnt for my son ,Iwhouldnt be here now talking to anyone. Holidays sucks when you have been alone too long
18 months ago my daughter was so ill, for 3 days I didn't know whether she would live, or die.
She is about to give birth to her daughter, my granddaughter. Instead of no life, she is now two.
You never know what is round the corner.
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My heart goes out to you LM. But your treading a dangerous path asking why and shouldering the blame. If you dont get a hold of this it will cause damage. The reality is, It had NOTHING to do with you love. You gave everything you could in terms of friendship and it sound to me like you were a good one. No-one knows the reason why or what was going through his head, But obviously this person was very disturbed. Who knows what demons he was battling. The thing is you cant take this on. You must continue to be a healthy whole individual and carry on being the wonderful mother that you are. Thats the most important focus for you in life...dont let this twist your perceptions and pull you out of focus. While this is very sad, its NOT your responsibility. I feel suicide is the ultimate act of selfishness due to the pain it causes in its wake.
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jac379: 18 months ago my daughter was so ill, for 3 days I didn't know whether she would live, or die.
She is about to give birth to her daughter, my granddaughter. Instead of no life, she is now two.
You never know what is round the corner.
She is about to give birth to her daughter, my granddaughter. Instead of no life, she is now two.
You never know what is round the corner.
So will it be a new years eve bb??
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lilmamma71: I babble... a lot of you know that about me...I am a writer my words are never brief.
I knew someone for 10 plus yrs.
He spent Christmas Day with his family....he sent me a text message several to be honest, about the good in his life...wished me and my girls Merry Christmas. He was always polite, in fact, to a fault...this was one of his best qualities.
Fast forward, to the day after Christmas, he sent me an annual picture of a snow angel...he lived in Florida, so the only time he did this was at him Mom's house.
One day later, I get a positive comment, a poke and an hr. conversation on facebook w/ him...a very happy one...telling me about reconfiguring life, he was with a person who made him happy, and I was sooo happy for him and her.
Six hours later.. I'm asked if I'm sitting down....my friend, who felt he couldn't talk to a single soul in this entire world..decided on a cold, dark, winters night, to take his own like.
My heart which knows no boundaries, no limitations, no turning away anybody in need, is now broken and shattered...why not pick up the g.d. eff'n phone like he did so many time before and just talk.
Why end your life...over an accident, over a heartbreak, over a misunderstanding....over somebody or something NOT worth it.
Why not reach out, you talked so much, you shared your soul, you talked about your FUTURE... why?
We get ONE chance, one life, one time....I'm tired, my tears are wasted in vain....I think somehow I failed you as a friend...why didn't I just dig a bit deeper, talk a bit longer...probe, see.. and foresee.
You felt, you knew what you had to eff'n do...do you have any clue as to what you've done.
YOUR entire family...you have hurt...they want to bring you home, but where are you NOW...so selfish, I question, your motivations..anger, deceit, covering, lies, false hoods, no thought for ANYBODY but yourself....now is your soul right? You will never ever know..how I won't weep for you anymore.
Life is precious, I've held it in my hands...you were a man, who felt without choices, your life is not a wish at your command..but a precious gift you squandered and pissed away...DAMN you..for your final choice...why didn't I just hear your voice, I brushed you off...because of my kids, my job, my bills,my life...FOR YOURS...you were a substantial part of my life, when did you feel like letting go? Why, was it that you felt for a fleeting second your life wasn't of value and your worth meant nothing.
You HAD friends, you had family, you had countless people who loved, cherished and cared for you..what gives YOU the right?
I hope you find in death......what those who loved you in life could NOT.
Dear Lilmamma, I'm told by people who deal with these things, that people who have psychological problems can be happy or normal then change to depression or other maladys in relative frequency . I'm not a psychologist, and I am sorry for your loss, however Don't beat yourself up over this . It is not your fault, and if you didn't see signs of problembs, don't feel like you should have . If you treated this person with respect then that is all anyone can ask . Yes it's alright to feel sad, but don't blame yourself. We are not always to blame for the actions of othersI knew someone for 10 plus yrs.
He spent Christmas Day with his family....he sent me a text message several to be honest, about the good in his life...wished me and my girls Merry Christmas. He was always polite, in fact, to a fault...this was one of his best qualities.
Fast forward, to the day after Christmas, he sent me an annual picture of a snow angel...he lived in Florida, so the only time he did this was at him Mom's house.
One day later, I get a positive comment, a poke and an hr. conversation on facebook w/ him...a very happy one...telling me about reconfiguring life, he was with a person who made him happy, and I was sooo happy for him and her.
Six hours later.. I'm asked if I'm sitting down....my friend, who felt he couldn't talk to a single soul in this entire world..decided on a cold, dark, winters night, to take his own like.
My heart which knows no boundaries, no limitations, no turning away anybody in need, is now broken and shattered...why not pick up the g.d. eff'n phone like he did so many time before and just talk.
Why end your life...over an accident, over a heartbreak, over a misunderstanding....over somebody or something NOT worth it.
Why not reach out, you talked so much, you shared your soul, you talked about your FUTURE... why?
We get ONE chance, one life, one time....I'm tired, my tears are wasted in vain....I think somehow I failed you as a friend...why didn't I just dig a bit deeper, talk a bit longer...probe, see.. and foresee.
You felt, you knew what you had to eff'n do...do you have any clue as to what you've done.
YOUR entire family...you have hurt...they want to bring you home, but where are you NOW...so selfish, I question, your motivations..anger, deceit, covering, lies, false hoods, no thought for ANYBODY but yourself....now is your soul right? You will never ever know..how I won't weep for you anymore.
Life is precious, I've held it in my hands...you were a man, who felt without choices, your life is not a wish at your command..but a precious gift you squandered and pissed away...DAMN you..for your final choice...why didn't I just hear your voice, I brushed you off...because of my kids, my job, my bills,my life...FOR YOURS...you were a substantial part of my life, when did you feel like letting go? Why, was it that you felt for a fleeting second your life wasn't of value and your worth meant nothing.
You HAD friends, you had family, you had countless people who loved, cherished and cared for you..what gives YOU the right?
I hope you find in death......what those who loved you in life could NOT.
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Frankinstien: Dear Lilmamma, I'm told by people who deal with these things, that people who have psychological problems can be happy or normal then change to depression or other maladys in relative frequency . I'm not a psychologist, and I am sorry for your loss, however Don't beat yourself up over this . It is not your fault, and if you didn't see signs of problembs, don't feel like you should have . If you treated this person with respect then that is all anyone can ask . Yes it's alright to feel sad, but don't blame yourself. We are not always to blame for the actions of others
Or some waters run so deep, they are hidden from view.
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Time will heal lilmamma71 Sorry you had to experience this. Heavy news indeed. Try and find understanding in all of this.
Sorry you had to experience this. Heavy news indeed. Try and find understanding in all of this.------ This thread is Archived ------
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I knew someone for 10 plus yrs.
He spent Christmas Day with his family....he sent me a text message several to be honest, about the good in his life...wished me and my girls Merry Christmas. He was always polite, in fact, to a fault...this was one of his best qualities.
Fast forward, to the day after Christmas, he sent me an annual picture of a snow angel...he lived in Florida, so the only time he did this was at him Mom's house.
One day later, I get a positive comment, a poke and an hr. conversation on facebook w/ him...a very happy one...telling me about reconfiguring life, he was with a person who made him happy, and I was sooo happy for him and her.
Six hours later.. I'm asked if I'm sitting down....my friend, who felt he couldn't talk to a single soul in this entire world..decided on a cold, dark, winters night, to take his own like.
My heart which knows no boundaries, no limitations, no turning away anybody in need, is now broken and shattered...why not pick up the g.d. eff'n phone like he did so many time before and just talk.
Why end your life...over an accident, over a heartbreak, over a misunderstanding....over somebody or something NOT worth it.
Why not reach out, you talked so much, you shared your soul, you talked about your FUTURE... why?
We get ONE chance, one life, one time....I'm tired, my tears are wasted in vain....I think somehow I failed you as a friend...why didn't I just dig a bit deeper, talk a bit longer...probe, see.. and foresee.
You felt, you knew what you had to eff'n do...do you have any clue as to what you've done.
YOUR entire family...you have hurt...they want to bring you home, but where are you NOW...so selfish, I question, your motivations..anger, deceit, covering, lies, false hoods, no thought for ANYBODY but yourself....now is your soul right? You will never ever know..how I won't weep for you anymore.
Life is precious, I've held it in my hands...you were a man, who felt without choices, your life is not a wish at your command..but a precious gift you squandered and pissed away...DAMN you..for your final choice...why didn't I just hear your voice, I brushed you off...because of my kids, my job, my bills,my life...FOR YOURS...you were a substantial part of my life, when did you feel like letting go? Why, was it that you felt for a fleeting second your life wasn't of value and your worth meant nothing.
You HAD friends, you had family, you had countless people who loved, cherished and cared for you..what gives YOU the right?
I hope you find in death......what those who loved you in life could NOT.