"...forget it, says a psychiatrist and relationship expert who insists the myth of love at first sight is not only untrue but is to blame for many unhappy relationships and failed marriages.
"It's impossible to make those kind of judgments until you really know someone," Livingston said.
"There's certainly such thing as attraction at first sight, and in retrospect you (may) have been right that this was the person, but often those initial chemical surges betray us."
"We're automatically drawn to (those deemed beautiful) on an almost instinctual basis but they may not have those inner qualities that make for satisfying marriage," he said.
"This is why it's so important to know somebody."
In his new book, How to Love, Livingston explains the key to a long-lasting loving relationship is finding a person who possesses most of what he calls the 10 "essential virtues" - kindness, optimism, courage, loyalty, tolerance, flexibility, beauty, humour, honesty and intelligence.
He says a fulfilling relationship is achieved by picking the right partner in the first place, rather than learning to deal with differences.
venere08: "...forget it, says a psychiatrist and relationship expert who insists the myth of love at first sight is not only untrue but is to blame for many unhappy relationships and failed marriages.
"It's impossible to make those kind of judgments until you really know someone," Livingston said.
"There's certainly such thing as attraction at first sight, and in retrospect you (may) have been right that this was the person, but often those initial chemical surges betray us."
"We're automatically drawn to (those deemed beautiful) on an almost instinctual basis but they may not have those inner qualities that make for satisfying marriage," he said.
"This is why it's so important to know somebody."
In his new book, How to Love, Livingston explains the key to a long-lasting loving relationship is finding a person who possesses most of what he calls the 10 "essential virtues" - kindness, optimism, courage, loyalty, tolerance, flexibility, beauty, humour, honesty and intelligence.
He says a fulfilling relationship is achieved by picking the right partner in the first place, rather than learning to deal with differences.
jahzahHappyfairygoblinland, Victoria Australia2,574 posts
It only happens to me 150time a day
But saying that, every girl i've been out with has floored me to the point of being speechless. I just knew that she was of significance to my life journey. Kind of like a aura. And sure enough they were.... So i would say yes it certainly is and will happen if you just live your life path and not search to hard.
Why love at first sight? I remember an article I read many years ago. It says:
Sometimes we found we like a person at first sight and sometimes we disliked a person at first sight though we know them very little. why?
From a baby to adult we experience a lot things and contact with a lot of people. Some of them left us beautiful impression and others left us very bad impression. With time goes on, we can't remember those things very clearly. But those things or people's figures will be in our deep mind or deep in our bone, in case one day, those things or those are similar to them appear again in front of us, the old impression which has been in our deep mind or deep bone, will effect us and drive us to have almost same feeling as the old ones.
So if you like a person at first sight, then maybe somebody who was like him has appeared in your life before and you might like him then. And if you dislike a person at first sight, maybe you had very bad impression with that figure.
The above is just common circumstance. If the person was Hepburn,then that would be an expectional situation, because nobody dislike to see a beauty like her. lol
One day, my daughter recited "1s 2p 3s 4d.....", suddenly I felt it touched my memory, it sounded just like an old friend which I met many years ago,but couldn't remember what was that. "what are you reciting?" "energy..." OH, subject of chemistry, I remember, yes I recited that when I was in high school.....sound very kindly. That is the same reason if we meet a person.
But saying that, every girl i've been out with has floored me to the point of being speechless. I just knew that she was of significance to my life journey. Kind of like a aura. And sure enough they were.... So i would say yes it certainly is and will happen if you just live your life path and not search to hard.
That's lust hun... don't forget to turn your brain on BEFORE you finally pick one to live with... whole different kettle of fish and the reason sooo many men complain they get taken to the cleaners come divorce time.
But I´ve learnt to pay attention to my first reaction when meeting someone new, in quite a few cases it paid off to remember that first impression at a later point...
jahzahHappyfairygoblinland, Victoria Australia2,574 posts
gininitaly: That's lust hun... don't forget to turn your brain on BEFORE you finally pick one to live with... whole different kettle of fish and the reason sooo many men complain they get taken to the cleaners come divorce time.
Errr well my shortest relationship has been 5years so i know it when i see it
jahzahHappyfairygoblinland, Victoria Australia2,574 posts
gininitaly: That's lust hun... don't forget to turn your brain on BEFORE you finally pick one to live with... whole different kettle of fish and the reason sooo many men complain they get taken to the cleaners come divorce time.
In reagrds to relatinships no I don't believe in love at first site.
When it comes to seeing your newborn son or daugter for the very first time after they're born yup I believe that's totally different.As long as it's not the sicky kind of love.
Married my ex exactly 3 weeks after we met. Were together 23 years. Had his multiple head injuries not interfered and entirely changed who he was, we'd still be together. He abandoned the marriage, I didn't. But then, I've been told I have a warped sense of devotion and dedication.
Like i say no one stay's through the worst times any more. No wonder our children of today have no sence of TRUE FAMILY COMMITMENT I am sorry for what happen to him an you i know you loved him but after all that time you leave? Sorry just dont understand?
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"It's impossible to make those kind of judgments until you really know someone," Livingston said.
"There's certainly such thing as attraction at first sight, and in retrospect you (may) have been right that this was the person, but often those initial chemical surges betray us."
"We're automatically drawn to (those deemed beautiful) on an almost instinctual basis but they may not have those inner qualities that make for satisfying marriage," he said.
"This is why it's so important to know somebody."
In his new book, How to Love, Livingston explains the key to a long-lasting loving relationship is finding a person who possesses most of what he calls the 10 "essential virtues" - kindness, optimism, courage, loyalty, tolerance, flexibility, beauty, humour, honesty and intelligence.
He says a fulfilling relationship is achieved by picking the right partner in the first place, rather than learning to deal with differences.
So it seems it might be possible after all, for some of you out there to claim 'love at first sight' ...
Wondering if your own experiences back up the research.