Love at first sight - Is there such a thing? ( Archived) (87)

Dec 30, 2010 6:17 AM CST Love at first sight - Is there such a thing?
venere08
venere08venere08Puglia and Autumn, South Australia Australia121 Threads 2 Polls 9,996 Posts
"...forget it, says a psychiatrist and relationship expert who insists the myth of love at first sight is not only untrue but is to blame for many unhappy relationships and failed marriages.

"It's impossible to make those kind of judgments until you really know someone," Livingston said.

"There's certainly such thing as attraction at first sight, and in retrospect you (may) have been right that this was the person, but often those initial chemical surges betray us."

"We're automatically drawn to (those deemed beautiful) on an almost instinctual basis but they may not have those inner qualities that make for satisfying marriage," he said.

"This is why it's so important to know somebody."

In his new book, How to Love, Livingston explains the key to a long-lasting loving relationship is finding a person who possesses most of what he calls the 10 "essential virtues" - kindness, optimism, courage, loyalty, tolerance, flexibility, beauty, humour, honesty and intelligence.

He says a fulfilling relationship is achieved by picking the right partner in the first place, rather than learning to deal with differences.



So it seems it might be possible after all, for some of you out there to claim 'love at first sight'heart wings ...

Wondering if your own experiences back up the research.wine
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Dec 30, 2010 6:20 AM CST Love at first sight - Is there such a thing?
reb56
reb56reb56carthage, Missouri USA55 Polls 8,629 Posts
venere08: "...forget it, says a psychiatrist and relationship expert who insists the myth of love at first sight is not only untrue but is to blame for many unhappy relationships and failed marriages.

"It's impossible to make those kind of judgments until you really know someone," Livingston said.

"There's certainly such thing as attraction at first sight, and in retrospect you (may) have been right that this was the person, but often those initial chemical surges betray us."

"We're automatically drawn to (those deemed beautiful) on an almost instinctual basis but they may not have those inner qualities that make for satisfying marriage," he said.

"This is why it's so important to know somebody."

In his new book, How to Love, Livingston explains the key to a long-lasting loving relationship is finding a person who possesses most of what he calls the 10 "essential virtues" - kindness, optimism, courage, loyalty, tolerance, flexibility, beauty, humour, honesty and intelligence.

He says a fulfilling relationship is achieved by picking the right partner in the first place, rather than learning to deal with differences.



So it seems it might be possible after all, for some of you out there to claim 'love at first sight' ...

Wondering if your own experiences back up the research.
yes 1st wife.
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Dec 30, 2010 6:22 AM CST Love at first sight - Is there such a thing?
gininitaly
gininitalygininitalyPadova, Veneto Italy23 Threads 2,454 Posts
Nope, not to me anyway.... tho there have been a few lusts at first sight that were fun. roll eyes angel
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Dec 30, 2010 6:24 AM CST Love at first sight - Is there such a thing?
jahzah
jahzahjahzahHappyfairygoblinland, Victoria Australia19 Threads 2 Polls 2,574 Posts
It only happens to me 150time a day rolling on the floor laughing

But saying that, every girl i've been out with has floored me to the point of being speechless. I just knew that she was of significance to my life journey. Kind of like a aura. And sure enough they were....
So i would say yes it certainly is and will happen if you just live your life path and not search to hard. wink
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Dec 30, 2010 6:39 AM CST Love at first sight - Is there such a thing?
Amenda
AmendaAmendashenyang, Liaoning China84 Threads 2,867 Posts
Why love at first sight? I remember an article I read many years ago. It says:

Sometimes we found we like a person at first sight and sometimes we disliked a person at first sight though we know them very little. why?

From a baby to adult we experience a lot things and contact with a lot of people. Some of them left us beautiful impression and others left us very bad impression. With time goes on, we can't remember those things very clearly. But those things or people's figures will be in our deep mind or deep in our bone, in case one day, those things or those are similar to them appear again in front of us, the old impression which has been in our deep mind or deep bone, will effect us and drive us to have almost same feeling as the old ones.

So if you like a person at first sight, then maybe somebody who was like him has appeared in your life before and you might like him then. And if you dislike a person at first sight, maybe you had very bad impression with that figure.

The above is just common circumstance. If the person was Hepburn,then that would be an expectional situation, because nobody dislike to see a beauty like her. lol

One day, my daughter recited "1s 2p 3s 4d.....", suddenly I felt it touched my memory, it sounded just like an old friend which I met many years ago,but couldn't remember what was that. "what are you reciting?" "energy..." OH, subject of chemistry, I remember, yes I recited that when I was in high school.....sound very kindly. That is the same reason if we meet a person.

Hope I explained it clearly.
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Dec 30, 2010 7:03 AM CST Love at first sight - Is there such a thing?
gininitaly
gininitalygininitalyPadova, Veneto Italy23 Threads 2,454 Posts
Good points Amenda handshake .
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Dec 30, 2010 7:07 AM CST Love at first sight - Is there such a thing?
gininitaly
gininitalygininitalyPadova, Veneto Italy23 Threads 2,454 Posts
jahzah: It only happens to me 150time a day

But saying that, every girl i've been out with has floored me to the point of being speechless. I just knew that she was of significance to my life journey. Kind of like a aura. And sure enough they were....
So i would say yes it certainly is and will happen if you just live your life path and not search to hard.


roll eyes That's lust hun... don't forget to turn your brain on BEFORE you finally pick one to live with... whole different kettle of fish and the reason sooo many men complain they get taken to the cleaners come divorce time. laugh
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Dec 30, 2010 7:08 AM CST Love at first sight - Is there such a thing?
invinciblemuse
invinciblemuseinvinciblemuseDresden, Saxony Germany38 Threads 2 Polls 6,026 Posts
I don´t think there is such a thing.

But I´ve learnt to pay attention to my first reaction when meeting someone new, in quite a few cases it paid off to remember that first impression at a later point...
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Dec 30, 2010 7:10 AM CST Love at first sight - Is there such a thing?
jahzah
jahzahjahzahHappyfairygoblinland, Victoria Australia19 Threads 2 Polls 2,574 Posts
gininitaly: That's lust hun... don't forget to turn your brain on BEFORE you finally pick one to live with... whole different kettle of fish and the reason sooo many men complain they get taken to the cleaners come divorce time.


Errr well my shortest relationship has been 5years so i know it when i see it hug
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Dec 30, 2010 7:11 AM CST Love at first sight - Is there such a thing?
jahzah
jahzahjahzahHappyfairygoblinland, Victoria Australia19 Threads 2 Polls 2,574 Posts
gininitaly: That's lust hun... don't forget to turn your brain on BEFORE you finally pick one to live with... whole different kettle of fish and the reason sooo many men complain they get taken to the cleaners come divorce time.


Really generalizing men can be your downfall also thumbs up
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Dec 30, 2010 7:14 AM CST Love at first sight - Is there such a thing?
Ccincy
CcincyCcincyCincinnati, Ohio USA77 Threads 20,535 Posts
In reagrds to relatinships no I don't believe in love at first site.

When it comes to seeing your newborn son or daugter for the very first time after they're born yup I believe that's totally different.As long as it's not the sicky kind of love.
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Dec 30, 2010 1:25 PM CST Love at first sight - Is there such a thing?
gininitaly
gininitalygininitalyPadova, Veneto Italy23 Threads 2,454 Posts
jahzah: Errr well my shortest relationship has been 5years so i know it when i see it


You're the one who said you fall in love 150 times a day jahzah... not me. laugh
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Dec 30, 2010 1:27 PM CST Love at first sight - Is there such a thing?
gininitaly
gininitalygininitalyPadova, Veneto Italy23 Threads 2,454 Posts
jahzah: Really generalizing men can be your downfall also


My downfall is that... given enough time, patterns emerge. Shall we talk again 35 years from now and compare notes? wink cheers
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Dec 30, 2010 1:30 PM CST Love at first sight - Is there such a thing?
imsophie1
imsophie1imsophie1Knox, Pennsylvania USA23 Threads 501 Posts
Married my ex exactly 3 weeks after we met. Were together 23 years. Had his multiple head injuries not interfered and entirely changed who he was, we'd still be together. He abandoned the marriage, I didn't. But then, I've been told I have a warped sense of devotion and dedication.
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Dec 30, 2010 1:33 PM CST Love at first sight - Is there such a thing?
MovinFWD
MovinFWDMovinFWDDaytona Beach, Florida USA36 Threads 3,234 Posts
I do at least every minute or twolaugh



Like these guysrolling on the floor laughing
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Dec 30, 2010 1:35 PM CST Love at first sight - Is there such a thing?
newyorkcityboy
newyorkcityboynewyorkcityboynorth bellmore ny, New York USA1 Threads 21 Posts
yeah i believe in love at first sight
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Dec 30, 2010 1:41 PM CST Love at first sight - Is there such a thing?
venusenvy
venusenvyvenusenvyCalgary, Alberta Canada27 Threads 20,003 Posts
I think maybe its one of those things you dont believe in til it happens to you. wine
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Dec 30, 2010 2:27 PM CST Love at first sight - Is there such a thing?
time4fun4u
time4fun4utime4fun4uAlicante, Valencia Spain18 Threads 1 Polls 10,066 Posts
Thats because you havnt met me yet ladies :tiphat

























: grin
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Dec 30, 2010 4:21 PM CST Love at first sight - Is there such a thing?
GodsBlessing
GodsBlessingGodsBlessingTulare, California USA5 Threads 23 Posts
Like i say no one stay's through the worst times any more. No wonder our children of today have no sence of TRUE FAMILY COMMITMENT
I am sorry for what happen to him an you i know you loved him but after all that time you leave? Sorry just dont understand?
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Dec 30, 2010 4:23 PM CST Love at first sight - Is there such a thing?
GodsBlessing
GodsBlessingGodsBlessingTulare, California USA5 Threads 23 Posts
my last post was for "imsophia"
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