Men...when you end a relationship..... (62)
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So sorry your going thru this.
I guess everyone is different, but for me it was the hardest decision I ever had to make. It broke my heart for about a year and I still think about her.
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A person has to do what they feel best.Some times you realize it is not going to work no matter how hard you try.If the relationship makes you unhappy,its time to move on.
Doesn't mean that you don't still have a spot in your heart for them,and you want think of them some times.Its better to leave while you still like them,before it changes to dislike.just my opinion,good luck
Doesn't mean that you don't still have a spot in your heart for them,and you want think of them some times.Its better to leave while you still like them,before it changes to dislike.just my opinion,good luck
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Okay I will admit it takes me time to allow an ex to fade... sometimes a month sometimes longer... it depends on my feelings for the woman and how long I was dating her... So yes she is still in my head as well as my heart... but for me I would have talked to her before breaking up to see if the relationship was saveable...
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If the reason for ending the relationship was truly insurmountable then it was the only decision to make. It doesn't alter the fact the you love the person but it does make the relationship impossible. In that case my feelings wouldn't alter or diminish but it would have to fall under the heading of "too bad, so sad" as I would want my loved one to have the best chance at a full and fulfilling relationship. When I love it is forever and unconditional but reality can put up barriers where it is better to be a loving memory than a unworkable reality. A sad situation but still a loving one. Best of luck
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he is gonna think of u untill finds another woman.so u still got a chance to get him back before he meets someone else.
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demonfairy: A person has to do what they feel best.Some times you realize it is not going to work no matter how hard you try.If the relationship makes you unhappy,its time to move on.
Doesn't mean that you don't still have a spot in your heart for them,and you want think of them some times.Its better to leave while you still like them,before it changes to dislike.just my opinion,good luck
Doesn't mean that you don't still have a spot in your heart for them,and you want think of them some times.Its better to leave while you still like them,before it changes to dislike.just my opinion,good luck
Thanks for your response. Our situation was not one of becoming unhappy; we were deliriously happy. When he ended it, he said that he loves me, I'm the best relationship he's ever had and probably ever will have. But it's just more complicated. Anyway, thank you for your answer.
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hello thalassa,
just to send you a very warm cyber hug....
just to send you a very warm cyber hug....
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vinny1967: So sorry your going thru this.
I guess everyone is different, but for me it was the hardest decision I ever had to make. It broke my heart for about a year and I still think about her.
I guess everyone is different, but for me it was the hardest decision I ever had to make. It broke my heart for about a year and I still think about her.
Hi, Vinny. Thanks for this.
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Thalassa: If you loved the woman still, but knew that the relationship couldn't go any further due to insurmountable and sadly unfortunate circumstances...and you see no choice but to end it...
Well, I guess my question is this:
When you make the decision to end a relationship while it is still very good, but you see no other choice....are you able to get her out of your thoughts once you've made that decision?
I guess I just wonder if he thinks of me as much as I do him. His decision was really the only logical choice, for reasons that aren't important. I actually understand why he felt he had to end it. The love never died, but there was an elephant in the room that we could no longer ignore.
So....now that he made the cut....
Does he think of me?
I know this is a broad question and everyone is different, but I'd be interested in hearing from the men here about what goes on in their heads after the love is not gone, but the lover is...and it was your decision to end it.
(By the way, it wasn't a short-term fling; it was 16 months in duration)
Well, I guess my question is this:
When you make the decision to end a relationship while it is still very good, but you see no other choice....are you able to get her out of your thoughts once you've made that decision?
I guess I just wonder if he thinks of me as much as I do him. His decision was really the only logical choice, for reasons that aren't important. I actually understand why he felt he had to end it. The love never died, but there was an elephant in the room that we could no longer ignore.
So....now that he made the cut....
Does he think of me?
I know this is a broad question and everyone is different, but I'd be interested in hearing from the men here about what goes on in their heads after the love is not gone, but the lover is...and it was your decision to end it.
(By the way, it wasn't a short-term fling; it was 16 months in duration)
Sorry to hear that
guess it depends on the person
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rider4u: If the reason for ending the relationship was truly insurmountable then it was the only decision to make. It doesn't alter the fact the you love the person but it does make the relationship impossible. In that case my feelings wouldn't alter or diminish but it would have to fall under the heading of "too bad, so sad" as I would want my loved one to have the best chance at a full and fulfilling relationship. When I love it is forever and unconditional but reality can put up barriers where it is better to be a loving memory than a unworkable reality. A sad situation but still a loving one. Best of luck
Yes, it was truly insurmountable, which is why I saw very clearly that he brought our love to its only logical conclusion. Definitely an unworkable reality (for the long haul, anyway), and definitely very sad.
Thanks for your thoughtful reply.
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lucynad: hello thalassa,
just to send you a very warm cyber hug....
just to send you a very warm cyber hug....
Hugs graciously and gladly accepted!
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Hiaya Friend,
Absolutely he will think of you and he will
For a while,
Tho I dont know what was the dispute, in his mind,
as for me, sometimes we must just go on, and not so easy,
and 16 months will take him some time to clear his mind, Lonely night makes us think and wonder if we made a right choice, tho I learned that if I must go on, it takes time for acceptance... and very hard to do, tho dragging it along, dont help either,
Comunication with him is KEY, if he wont talk, and be civil, it has to end, and also take some healing time, to study out our thinking...and reasoning,without knowing what the elephant in the room is, it is hard to give a sound answer,
...
Larry
Absolutely he will think of you and he will
For a while, Tho I dont know what was the dispute, in his mind,
as for me, sometimes we must just go on, and not so easy,
and 16 months will take him some time to clear his mind, Lonely night makes us think and wonder if we made a right choice, tho I learned that if I must go on, it takes time for acceptance... and very hard to do, tho dragging it along, dont help either,
Comunication with him is KEY, if he wont talk, and be civil, it has to end, and also take some healing time, to study out our thinking...and reasoning,without knowing what the elephant in the room is, it is hard to give a sound answer,
...
Larry
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HotrodLarrys: Hiaya Friend,
Absolutely he will think of you and he will For a while,
Tho I dont know what was the dispute, in his mind,
as for me, sometimes we must just go on, and not so easy,
and 16 months will take him some time to clear his mind, Lonely night makes us think and wonder if we made a right choice, tho I learned that if I must go on, it takes time for acceptance... and very hard to do, tho dragging it along, dont help either,
Comunication with him is KEY, if he wont talk, and be civil, it has to end, and also take some healing time, to study out our thinking...and reasoning,without knowing what the elephant in the room is, it is hard to give a sound answer,
...
Larry
Absolutely he will think of you and he will For a while,
Tho I dont know what was the dispute, in his mind,
as for me, sometimes we must just go on, and not so easy,
and 16 months will take him some time to clear his mind, Lonely night makes us think and wonder if we made a right choice, tho I learned that if I must go on, it takes time for acceptance... and very hard to do, tho dragging it along, dont help either,
Comunication with him is KEY, if he wont talk, and be civil, it has to end, and also take some healing time, to study out our thinking...and reasoning,without knowing what the elephant in the room is, it is hard to give a sound answer,
...
Larry
Hi, Larry.
Yes, I purposefully did not go into details about the elephant in the room, but it was there all along and I knew it just the same as he did. He was very civil, very kind, very sad... it might have been easier if he had done something to really piss me off and I could be mad at him, but it didn't go that way.
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Thalassa: If you loved the woman still, but knew that the relationship couldn't go any further due to insurmountable and sadly unfortunate circumstances...and you see no choice but to end it...
Well, I guess my question is this:
When you make the decision to end a relationship while it is still very good, but you see no other choice....are you able to get her out of your thoughts once you've made that decision?
I guess I just wonder if he thinks of me as much as I do him. His decision was really the only logical choice, for reasons that aren't important. I actually understand why he felt he had to end it. The love never died, but there was an elephant in the room that we could no longer ignore.
So....now that he made the cut....
Does he think of me?
I know this is a broad question and everyone is different, but I'd be interested in hearing from the men here about what goes on in their heads after the love is not gone, but the lover is...and it was your decision to end it.
(By the way, it wasn't a short-term fling; it was 16 months in duration)
It takes sometime to forget that person, but after a while we do get over it and we move on with a little bit of more caution.Well, I guess my question is this:
When you make the decision to end a relationship while it is still very good, but you see no other choice....are you able to get her out of your thoughts once you've made that decision?
I guess I just wonder if he thinks of me as much as I do him. His decision was really the only logical choice, for reasons that aren't important. I actually understand why he felt he had to end it. The love never died, but there was an elephant in the room that we could no longer ignore.
So....now that he made the cut....
Does he think of me?
I know this is a broad question and everyone is different, but I'd be interested in hearing from the men here about what goes on in their heads after the love is not gone, but the lover is...and it was your decision to end it.
(By the way, it wasn't a short-term fling; it was 16 months in duration)
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Whether it is 16 months or 18 years, we do get over it and move on to better things. If he does not try to stay in contact it makes things easier. If he is in your face it is a painful reminder of what you had and lost.
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midnight_angel_1: Whether it is 16 months or 18 years, we do get over it and move on to better things. If he does not try to stay in contact it makes things easier. If he is in your face it is a painful reminder of what you had and lost.
Yes, he told me that he had to have all the strength for both of us because he knew that I don't have that kind of strength. I believe that he's handling it the best way possible, but for me it's like I've been forced to go cold turkey from an addiction and I'm suffering from the withdrawal symptoms.
I know that time will ease the pain. I know this. But I also know that I will love him always, regardless of what my future may hold.
Sigh.
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Thalassa: Yes, he told me that he had to have all the strength for both of us because he knew that I don't have that kind of strength. I believe that he's handling it the best way possible, but for me it's like I've been forced to go cold turkey from an addiction and I'm suffering from the withdrawal symptoms.
I know that time will ease the pain. I know this. But I also know that I will love him always, regardless of what my future may hold.
Sigh.
I know that time will ease the pain. I know this. But I also know that I will love him always, regardless of what my future may hold.
Sigh.
but if it is that way for both why let the "elephant" win???
love is so rare to find...
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lucynad: but if it is that way for both why let the "elephant" win???
love is so rare to find...
love is so rare to find...
Yes, that concept worked for me, but the weight of that elephant was leaning much more heavily on him. I know I'm speaking in riddles about it, but I don't want to expose the details at this point. Some few people here on CS were here in the early days of this relationship and I used to come to the Forums at that time (I've been absent for a long while). Those few might remember that I wrote about the issue at that time. But, at this point, I just don't want to re-hash it all.
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Created: Feb 2011
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Well, I guess my question is this:
When you make the decision to end a relationship while it is still very good, but you see no other choice....are you able to get her out of your thoughts once you've made that decision?
I guess I just wonder if he thinks of me as much as I do him. His decision was really the only logical choice, for reasons that aren't important. I actually understand why he felt he had to end it. The love never died, but there was an elephant in the room that we could no longer ignore.
So....now that he made the cut....
Does he think of me?
I know this is a broad question and everyone is different, but I'd be interested in hearing from the men here about what goes on in their heads after the love is not gone, but the lover is...and it was your decision to end it.
(By the way, it wasn't a short-term fling; it was 16 months in duration)