What to do..... (45)
shyatfirstcobourg, Ontario Canada22 Threads 1,462 PostsWhat do you do when people don't hear what you are saying but hear what they think you are saying?
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try, try again
until I see there is no way to change the result...then i walk away, letting them know when and if they realize the truth of things...look me up.
some people are so stubborn and set. they get an idea in their head and cant let it go or see past that. if its something little and not a big deal, then id probably let it slide, but anything life altering, i just cant and wont be with anyone that wont listen to words besides their own.
until I see there is no way to change the result...then i walk away, letting them know when and if they realize the truth of things...look me up.
some people are so stubborn and set. they get an idea in their head and cant let it go or see past that. if its something little and not a big deal, then id probably let it slide, but anything life altering, i just cant and wont be with anyone that wont listen to words besides their own.
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Good thread. The art of communicating and listening is dying.
Most of the time when we are in relationships, we talk to ourselves. Not only are we often unclear about what we want to communicate, from the other persons perpective, but some lack the linquistic facility to put it into sane semantic structure.
Even when we do, the listener is often uninterested, unwilling or unable to translate the intellectual and emotional content of what is said.
Good listeners are rare.
I try to ask the individual if they understood what I conveyed, listen to what their interpretation was, and follow up with my original intent.
Most of the time when we are in relationships, we talk to ourselves. Not only are we often unclear about what we want to communicate, from the other persons perpective, but some lack the linquistic facility to put it into sane semantic structure.
Even when we do, the listener is often uninterested, unwilling or unable to translate the intellectual and emotional content of what is said.
Good listeners are rare.
I try to ask the individual if they understood what I conveyed, listen to what their interpretation was, and follow up with my original intent.
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Are you sure they are just not hearing you...or is it they don't want to hear what you are saying???
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Yea after a few times you wonder....
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I agree with what Kris and Cat say too.... after a while it is maybe time to just let it go and walk away.
And listening is one of the hardest things to do. There are very few people who can truly listen.
And listening is one of the hardest things to do. There are very few people who can truly listen.
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Hunh...what's that? 
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Uh... did you say something? 
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welllllllllll...i admit i am one of the stubborn ones...initially. but i will and do take the time out to consider what the other said. im not afraid to say i was wrong, apologize, talk it out, work it out. Even if I still think im the RIGHT one...taking into consideration the others view and feelings, affords us a growing experience, even if its not an easy one.
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I have no problem apologizing or admitting I'm wrong. And I will take the others feelings and point of view in consideration but I only go so far.... After a while there comes a time that it makes you wonder, like Wikked said, if people wanna hear you.
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I get misunderstood often, well less often than used to be. I don't understand what it is about the way I speak, but sometimes people hear something other than what I meant. But, as I said, less often than used to.
I try better to make myself clear. I ask them what I said in order to try and make sure we are on the same page.
But..........there are those that just cannot or will not hear you no matter what it is you try and convey to them.
There comes a time when you just have to ask yourself "how important is it anyway?". Then try and change the subject and move on.
Kat
I try better to make myself clear. I ask them what I said in order to try and make sure we are on the same page.
But..........there are those that just cannot or will not hear you no matter what it is you try and convey to them.
There comes a time when you just have to ask yourself "how important is it anyway?". Then try and change the subject and move on.
Kat
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I'll try to clarify, then re-clarify, then iterate and re-iterate, then I typically end up telling them to go to hell.
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Enough is enough......------ This thread is Archived ------
I didnt say back down...and i didnt say id say i was wrong if i wasnt. but if i think about it and they have a valid point, then i will do the discuss thing.
ok example...the man i have been seeing and i...there is one thing that is utmost important to me in a relationship. He knew this, we talked about it. I even wouldnt stay with him at one point because this was lacking. But he saw what it meant to me, seemed to show that side of himself. And WOW....what a rush. The perfect package. But then it went back to how it was at first. I tried to talk to him about it....all i got back was the rolling eyes routine. I tried and tried to talk about it in an open, honest, caring way...and now its a thorn between us and since i will not settle for less than what my dream is, less than what i believe is all entailed in a true relationship to last throughtout time...i wont back down or settle or even consider anything else but that total package. he had his chances to hear me, but chooses to see or react in a negative and hurtful way, and then i react in a way that he deems as hurtful as well (not my feeling or intention, but thats how he saw it) Do i hate him for this? no. do i think less of him? no....its just something i will not and can not compromise in myself.
ok example...the man i have been seeing and i...there is one thing that is utmost important to me in a relationship. He knew this, we talked about it. I even wouldnt stay with him at one point because this was lacking. But he saw what it meant to me, seemed to show that side of himself. And WOW....what a rush. The perfect package. But then it went back to how it was at first. I tried to talk to him about it....all i got back was the rolling eyes routine. I tried and tried to talk about it in an open, honest, caring way...and now its a thorn between us and since i will not settle for less than what my dream is, less than what i believe is all entailed in a true relationship to last throughtout time...i wont back down or settle or even consider anything else but that total package. he had his chances to hear me, but chooses to see or react in a negative and hurtful way, and then i react in a way that he deems as hurtful as well (not my feeling or intention, but thats how he saw it) Do i hate him for this? no. do i think less of him? no....its just something i will not and can not compromise in myself.
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Sorry but I need a little more than 2 words to understand what you are talking about.....
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...don't we all..
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Created: Oct 2006
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