HELL EXPLAINED ( Worth the read ) :-) ( Archived) (9)

May 3, 2011 1:11 PM CST HELL EXPLAINED ( Worth the read ) :-)
The following is an actual question given on a University of Arizona chemistry mid-term, and an actual answer turned in by a student.




The answer by one student was so 'profound' that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well :




Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?




Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.




One student, however, wrote the following:




First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving, which is unlikely. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.




Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.




This gives two possibilities:




1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.




2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.




So which is it?




If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct..... ....leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "OH MY GOD "

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+



grin wave
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May 3, 2011 1:25 PM CST HELL EXPLAINED ( Worth the read ) :-)
RDM59
RDM59RDM59Edinburgh, Lothian, Scotland UK92 Threads 5 Polls 14,070 Posts
thumbs up laugh ... a classic that one is Nulsi .... wave hug bouquet
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May 3, 2011 1:49 PM CST HELL EXPLAINED ( Worth the read ) :-)
mindfful
mindffulmindffulChicago, Illinois USA235 Threads 8 Polls 18,996 Posts
love itrolling on the floor laughing wave
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May 3, 2011 1:53 PM CST HELL EXPLAINED ( Worth the read ) :-)
Buffy327
Buffy327Buffy327Somewhere, Georgia USA5 Threads 1,527 Posts
Oh God, I wish I had said that all at one time.....U know, in one paragraph....I resemble these remarks....rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing
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May 3, 2011 1:58 PM CST HELL EXPLAINED ( Worth the read ) :-)
galrads
galradsgalradsDublin, Ohio USA2,264 Threads 279 Polls 36,283 Posts
Nuliiiiiii: The following is an actual question given on a University of Arizona chemistry mid-term, and an actual answer turned in by a student.

The answer by one student was so 'profound' that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well :

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving, which is unlikely. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.

Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct..... ....leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "OH MY GOD "

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+

Ah, Hell....... BRAVO ! applause
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May 3, 2011 3:59 PM CST HELL EXPLAINED ( Worth the read ) :-)
venusenvy
venusenvyvenusenvyCalgary, Alberta Canada27 Threads 20,003 Posts
rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing
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May 7, 2011 11:26 PM CST HELL EXPLAINED ( Worth the read ) :-)
whowhatwherewhen
whowhatwherewhenwhowhatwherewhentoowoomba, Queensland Australia15 Threads 1,404 Posts
This is the funniest thing Ive read for a long time.
------ This thread is Archived ------
May 8, 2011 1:22 AM CST HELL EXPLAINED ( Worth the read ) :-)
ScarlettLipstick
ScarlettLipstickScarlettLipstickdunno, Metro Manila Philippines8 Threads 1 Polls 738 Posts
Nuliiiiiii: The following is an actual question given on a University of Arizona chemistry mid-term, and an actual answer turned in by a student.

The answer by one student was so 'profound' that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well :

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving, which is unlikely. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.

Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct..... ....leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "OH MY GOD "

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+
thumbs up thumbs up

briliant student!rolling on the floor laughing
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May 8, 2011 2:17 AM CST HELL EXPLAINED ( Worth the read ) :-)
Witchaywoman
WitchaywomanWitchaywomanCarpentersville, Illinois USA97 Threads 13 Polls 4,344 Posts
I wonder if that really happened. rolling on the floor laughing
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