Looking Back (24)

I just found a blog i did when my mum died, totally forgot about it and it kinda brought a tear to my eye well maybe a little more

aint it amazing how we find stuff and think god did i say/do/write that

anyone else find stuff like this

here is my first entry into that blog

forgive the spelling and so on

sadness editdelete
November 22, 2009 at 3:24pm

its three weeks ago today that i lost my mum and it getting harder if anything.

it all happened so fast i was up for mid-term with my little girl to see granny and we came home on the wednesday, i was talking to mum on the phone on friday nite and the next thing i know is i'm getting a phone call from the nurse to say mum is ill and going to hospital in sligo, i was in kildare and if i'm honest i dont mind the drive down to sligo only the overriding need to get there as fast as i cud and even then it wasnt nearly fast enough for me. i'm sure that some drivers thought i was a mad woman on the rd but if only the knew why?

i phoned the hospital about an hour into the drive to be told by a man (nurse/ doctor i''m not sure) that mum was quite ill and that i needed to get there the fear took over from there and i was like a demon on the rd. about half an hour from the hospital i phoned again to b told that mum was in ICU wasnt waiting on that detail at all. i got there and no one took the time to warn me wot it wud b like. wires wires and machines i sat there in stunned shock and then i started to feel sick omg i had to get out of there as fast as i cud





i feel i have to write this but not fit to do it all now so mayb 2morrow i will do some more between the tears and the heartbreak it might help me come to terms wit it all

I have kept a diary for years.

Now and then I take out the old ones and read them.

I have noticed that I wrote mostly when things were bad and to be honest some of the things I have in them make me think how on earth did I survive it.

Hola

never did keep a diary so was little surprised that i wrote what i did and actually kept it

does make u think god and i think its tough now

I find it a theraputic thing to do, have written some poetry to but again that always comes from a place of pain. Was good for me at the time though.

i did that once after a man died from heart attack in front of the shop i worked in
amazing how many walked on by so i wrote a poem pure crap but helped

i must do this more often write stuff down that is not post crap again

lol


Sure isnt posting doing just that, writing stuff down.

have u seen some of the crap i come out wit
i actually can be deep and think a lot it just never shows on here

lol

one persons crap is another persons interesting topic