Expectations on first and following dates, who asks, who pays, who decides where? (5)

Oct 18, 2006 12:13 AM CST Expectations on first and following dates, who asks, who pays, who decides where?
SirenLydia
SirenLydiaSirenLydiaBury St Edmunds, Suffolk, England UK45 Threads 2 Polls 4,138 Posts
So the person you fancy has asked you out, be it a man asking a woman or I hear it does happen, a woman asking a man. If you are a woman who has asked out a man, please let us know how it went.

Who is expected to pay? Who decides where you will go?

peace devil
Oct 18, 2006 12:57 AM CST Expectations on first and following dates, who asks, who pays, who decides where?
YamiYami
YamiYamiYamiYamiNorthWest, England UK30 Threads 1,252 Posts
Hi SirenLydia , I have done it lots of times . I do it in a funny way . My children are usually present . If she has a family of her own I ask if she would like to bring them along . By the time we meet she knows every detail of how it is going to go . We have a budget which will not go beyond . It helps to be clear about the very first date . It has been very successful . It prevents disappointment and allows a friendly finish . Majority of dates where initiated by women at the other end . We talked about our objectives before the date . There were one or two whom were uncomfortable with my preferred arrangements . I tried to accommodate .. Nothing is 100% . A good beginning does not mean a successful ending but allows the 'in between ' to go well .
Oct 18, 2006 1:12 AM CST Expectations on first and following dates, who asks, who pays, who decides where?
SirenLydia
SirenLydiaSirenLydiaBury St Edmunds, Suffolk, England UK45 Threads 2 Polls 4,138 Posts
Morning Yami.
That is an interesting approach with merits.
Do you never date the lady first before inflicting her on your unsuspecting children?
Personally I have never taken my children on the first few dates.
The idea of having the date laid out so all know what is happening is a very good one.

wave peace devil
Oct 18, 2006 3:53 AM CST Expectations on first and following dates, who asks, who pays, who decides where?
YamiYami
YamiYamiYamiYamiNorthWest, England UK30 Threads 1,252 Posts
I spent around a year preparing the children for this . I explained ,gave examples and allowed them to feel comfortable with the idea that I needed to have a companion . They needed to understand and work out how it affected their relationship with their own mum . At the very end they were very curios to meet a potential new friend .. laugh After the first two dates it just became a good day out with them showing very little interest in the matter at all . It was hard work . In this case it has worked satisfactorily .

I have met one or two in the absence of children . Reason being that the children were either at school or away with their mum . By second date every person I have met has been in the presence of my or our children .
Oct 24, 2006 12:44 PM CST Expectations on first and following dates, who asks, who pays, who decides where?
metalmermaid
metalmermaidmetalmermaidEdinburgh, Lothian, Scotland UK8 Posts
I find that rather disturbing that you bring your kids along on initial dates...jaw drop

Personally I would not introduce any new man in my life to my sons until I was comfortable with him and knew him somewhat better. Which is just as well as I have had my fair share of very maladjusted men this year.

I've now given up looking and will devote my time to taking the labels off beer bottles and putting them in little plastic pockets... tongue

MM
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by SirenLydia (45 Threads)
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