His easy ride (28)
Ulimaroa: A close girl friend (Miss Lovely) called me today.
She has been seeing a guy (called Mr Easyride) for two years now.
He is separated, has two children in their teens.
They live with their mother 400 km North from him.
Actually the younger still lives with the mother, the other has gone to boarding school and is very happy there.
Now Miss Lovely (my g/f) is highly educated, holds down a full time job, is a mother of two and separated as well.
The relationship between Miss Lovely and Mr Easyride has its ups and downs as every relationship.
They don’t live with each other.
He has a small place of his own.
She has her place with the kids
One major issue rearing its head every once in a while, is caused by his laziness organizing quality time with Miss Lovely.
She:
manages her teenage kids,
works full-time,
holds seminars on the weekend
studies a/h
He:
works full time.
When it comes planning trips he wants as well, it’s always her suggesting the destination, researching, organizing, planning, booking, and ending up paying her fare, expenses, dinners.
I am talking of weekend trips, or the odd longer trip.
Never he invites her and hardly ever he pays for a meal.
A week ago he said his kids were going to spend their summer holiday with their mother in Sth America.
He asked Mis Lovely (his G/f) to select a destination (do planning etc as usual) for a holiday with him.
Time away two weeks.
His reasoning, as to why he couldn’t do the trip planning himself was his exhaustion.
She
manages her teenage kids,
works full-time,
holds seminars on the weekend
studies a/h
He
works full time.
She spent minimum 8 hours spread over several days planning a vacation he had suggested.
The day they wanted to discuss it he rang to say, he cant make it.
Sth America wont be on the cards for the kids, things changed, and now he will be taking his kids on a trip to Korea for the first two weeks of his leave.
(Korea! a place she always wanted to visit with him.)
At any rate, she could plan a trip with him for the six days following his return.
Now I ask you; How do you think she is feeling?
What should she do to change the pattern?
Perhaps...without having full insight within the situation...consider a semi-permanentride instead of the easyride...or buy your own motorbike ?She has been seeing a guy (called Mr Easyride) for two years now.
He is separated, has two children in their teens.
They live with their mother 400 km North from him.
Actually the younger still lives with the mother, the other has gone to boarding school and is very happy there.
Now Miss Lovely (my g/f) is highly educated, holds down a full time job, is a mother of two and separated as well.
The relationship between Miss Lovely and Mr Easyride has its ups and downs as every relationship.
They don’t live with each other.
He has a small place of his own.
She has her place with the kids
One major issue rearing its head every once in a while, is caused by his laziness organizing quality time with Miss Lovely.
She:
manages her teenage kids,
works full-time,
holds seminars on the weekend
studies a/h
He:
works full time.
When it comes planning trips he wants as well, it’s always her suggesting the destination, researching, organizing, planning, booking, and ending up paying her fare, expenses, dinners.
I am talking of weekend trips, or the odd longer trip.
Never he invites her and hardly ever he pays for a meal.
A week ago he said his kids were going to spend their summer holiday with their mother in Sth America.
He asked Mis Lovely (his G/f) to select a destination (do planning etc as usual) for a holiday with him.
Time away two weeks.
His reasoning, as to why he couldn’t do the trip planning himself was his exhaustion.
She
manages her teenage kids,
works full-time,
holds seminars on the weekend
studies a/h
He
works full time.
She spent minimum 8 hours spread over several days planning a vacation he had suggested.
The day they wanted to discuss it he rang to say, he cant make it.
Sth America wont be on the cards for the kids, things changed, and now he will be taking his kids on a trip to Korea for the first two weeks of his leave.
(Korea! a place she always wanted to visit with him.)
At any rate, she could plan a trip with him for the six days following his return.
Now I ask you; How do you think she is feeling?
What should she do to change the pattern?
Ulimaroa: Whatt boy?
The pic in my profile is me at the age of three...
I was born a girl
and still am
The pic in my profile is me at the age of three...
I was born a girl
and still am
I did not see the pinkish socks, sorry.
Lovely and cute infant!
Ulimaroa: No of course its not about me. I dont have kids.
And its not anyone from here.
I said its a girl friend of mine.
And its not anyone from here.
I said its a girl friend of mine.
That is good to know.
Besides, I do not know much about you but you seem rather a strong, self confident and gorgeous lady.
Hey Darl .... GPS things are for women .. who have to travel without man. Men don`t need GPS, they got a built-in travel direction. Women have to read the road signs..... "Road Signs" ... they indicate which way a relationship is going.
If he makes a request, and she goes to the trouble of organising the trip, and then he cancels .... well ... that is a "road sign". The same as when/if he complains about her new pair of cheap sandals she bought at Flea-market .... the Road Sign says .... :"He is gonna be moaning about every little thing she buys in life" .. THAT is a ROAD SIGN....
If one never learns to read Road Signs then one is going to keep making the same mistakes in life.
If he makes a request, and she goes to the trouble of organising the trip, and then he cancels .... well ... that is a "road sign". The same as when/if he complains about her new pair of cheap sandals she bought at Flea-market .... the Road Sign says .... :"He is gonna be moaning about every little thing she buys in life" .. THAT is a ROAD SIGN....
If one never learns to read Road Signs then one is going to keep making the same mistakes in life.
smoky: Hey Darl .... GPS things are for women .. who have to travel without man. Men don`t need GPS, they got a built-in travel direction. Women have to read the road signs..... "Road Signs" ... they indicate which way a relationship is going.
If he makes a request, and she goes to the trouble of organising the trip, and then he cancels .... well ... that is a "road sign". The same as when/if he complains about her new pair of cheap sandals she bought at Flea-market .... the Road Sign says .... :"He is gonna be moaning about every little thing she buys in life" .. THAT is a ROAD SIGN....
If one never learns to read Road Signs then one is going to keep making the same mistakes in life.
If he makes a request, and she goes to the trouble of organising the trip, and then he cancels .... well ... that is a "road sign". The same as when/if he complains about her new pair of cheap sandals she bought at Flea-market .... the Road Sign says .... :"He is gonna be moaning about every little thing she buys in life" .. THAT is a ROAD SIGN....
If one never learns to read Road Signs then one is going to keep making the same mistakes in life.
Oh, men do get lost as well as everybody else, orientation skills or not, and GPS was developed by men and for men in the first place. But that isn’t the subject.
The subject is sings! Of course, there are signs. Though as we are told, the woman, described in the OP, doesn’t want to read the signs – “What should she do to change the pattern?” – she wants to change the signs after her demands. And why not? Here in Gothenburg the road signs are too few and too boring. I think they ought to replace their sign-writer. (By me, for example
)As to sandals… well, the strongest half of the species doesn’t always know what things cost. Especially female garment. Lost in fashion, so to say. So one can explain them that the very same pair of sandals costs in a boutique situated on the Main Street ten times more than at a flea market. So you made a coup and saved him a lot of money. But if he still would be discontent, tell him that you will buy the next pair on the Main Street and he’s welcome to pay the difference.
Tulefel: Oh, men do get lost as well as everybody else, orientation skills or not, and GPS was developed by men and for men in the first place. But that isn’t the subject.
The subject is sings! Of course, there are signs. Though as we are told, the woman, described in the OP, doesn’t want to read the signs – “What should she do to change the pattern?” – she wants to change the signs after her demands. And why not? Here in Gothenburg the road signs are too few and too boring. I think they ought to replace their sign-writer. (By me, for example )
As to sandals… well, the strongest half of the species doesn’t always know what things cost. Especially female garment. Lost in fashion, so to say. So one can explain them that the very same pair of sandals costs in a boutique situated on the Main Street ten times more than at a flea market. So you made a coup and saved him a lot of money. But if he still would be discontent, tell him that you will buy the next pair on the Main Street and he’s welcome to pay the difference.
The subject is sings! Of course, there are signs. Though as we are told, the woman, described in the OP, doesn’t want to read the signs – “What should she do to change the pattern?” – she wants to change the signs after her demands. And why not? Here in Gothenburg the road signs are too few and too boring. I think they ought to replace their sign-writer. (By me, for example )
As to sandals… well, the strongest half of the species doesn’t always know what things cost. Especially female garment. Lost in fashion, so to say. So one can explain them that the very same pair of sandals costs in a boutique situated on the Main Street ten times more than at a flea market. So you made a coup and saved him a lot of money. But if he still would be discontent, tell him that you will buy the next pair on the Main Street and he’s welcome to pay the difference.
I suppose it`s a language barrier thing huh?
Allegories are simple stories to illustrate a meaning, same as parables. And the GPS and shoe story was an parable.
When one writes using a parable it is not a personal story, merely an illustration.
But anyways ...... Women need to know this: A man cannot be changed. Oh he may change, but he will NOT change for the better - he will only get worse.
So ... if he cannot be accepted for who/what/how he is .. then do not accept him. Leave him for another woman who may find who/what/how he is more acceptable for her.
And to know if the person is suitable or not ... the "road signs" .... or just plain "signs" ... are the little, or sometimes large, things he does, or does not do, and by being able to "read the signs" one then deciphers the intent and basic character of that other person.
smoky: I suppose it`s a language barrier thing huh?
Allegories are simple stories to illustrate a meaning, same as parables. And the GPS and shoe story was an parable.
When one writes using a parable it is not a personal story, merely an illustration.
But anyways ...... Women need to know this: A man cannot be changed. Oh he may change, but he will NOT change for the better - he will only get worse.
So ... if he cannot be accepted for who/what/how he is .. then do not accept him. Leave him for another woman who may find who/what/how he is more acceptable for her.
And to know if the person is suitable or not ... the "road signs" .... or just plain "signs" ... are the little, or sometimes large, things he does, or does not do, and by being able to "read the signs" one then deciphers the intent and basic character of that other person.
Allegories are simple stories to illustrate a meaning, same as parables. And the GPS and shoe story was an parable.
When one writes using a parable it is not a personal story, merely an illustration.
But anyways ...... Women need to know this: A man cannot be changed. Oh he may change, but he will NOT change for the better - he will only get worse.
So ... if he cannot be accepted for who/what/how he is .. then do not accept him. Leave him for another woman who may find who/what/how he is more acceptable for her.
And to know if the person is suitable or not ... the "road signs" .... or just plain "signs" ... are the little, or sometimes large, things he does, or does not do, and by being able to "read the signs" one then deciphers the intent and basic character of that other person.
Have never suggested to change anyone, parable or no parable. But have suggested a few options that have been ignored.
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I do not think that Uli did a wrong thing when telling a story of her friend with so many personal details. Such stories are common nowadays. I know at least 3 that are a lot simular to what Uli told. One woman told me the following about her romance with a man (they can not make it to living together for 4 years):"As long as we get along more or less normally, I tolerate him. We have good times quite often. I even love him at these times. But I understand he is not exactly what i wish. So, if there will be a better option, i shall consider it, but before the better one - i do not see any sence in ending our relationship"
Actually this conversation gave me food for thought for several weeks, but after all, it is their life, and they are grown up enough to understand what they do and why...