learning to trust ( Archived) (9)

How do you learn to trust again... does it take time? or is it like jumping off a bridge, just a leap of faith?

I will always trust even though I know better. By our very nature we are untrustworthy. But we strive to be honourable. Paws

I have a lot of qualities that I think make me a good person that also make me very vulnerable to being taken advantage of. One of those qualities is that I'm very trusting. Even after I catch someone in a lie, I'll still trust them after that. It's just in my nature, I guess.

I give everyone the benefit of the doubt unless it is clear I shouldn't...

As far as broken trust..I proceed with caution; In some cases I may never trust that person again. I do believe trust can be earned back.

In some areas that I have been burned repeatedly I learned to be on the defensive, I am very keen to the signs. I have met people that have proven to be trustworthy and renewed my faith in certain things.

It is in my nature to trust, but once bitten twice shy...

It's the bridge-jump without a doubt. Anything less is suspicion which isn't trust at all.

I always trust every new partner fresh. That doesn't mean to be stupid about it. I mean, if you have any questions about anything at all just ask to have them cleared up.

If the other person reacts to that claiming that you are "suspicious" of them then chances are very good they are guilty of something. A loving partner should never mind being questioned. But don't beat around the bush just randomly overturning every possible stone fishing to see what you can find either. I mean, if you want to know something ask that specific question and deal with the answer directly. If you feel that answer was evasive then you have a right to go fishing, and if your partner starts to become defensive then it's probably because you're fishing in waters that contain live fish!

I have no problem with an inquisitive woman because I have nothing to hide. She can ask me anything she wants. But I would be upset with a woman who is constantly suspicious of everything I do for absolutely NO REASON! Having a partner who is that suspicious can be a real problem.

My rule is simple. You can ask me anything. However, reserve the right to ask you anything as well.

I would not even want a partner that I could not freely ask anything. There just isn't enough opportunity there for the kind of closeness that I seek in a relationship anyway. If there is ever a time when you are afraid to ask your partner a question that is genuinely on your mind, then you're with the wrong person. You can do better!

If you're partner genuinely has nothing to hide they shouldn't mind answering questions.

So don't just naively jump off the bridge with a potential partner who is very secretive or one who doesn't like being asked questions. There's probably a very good reason why they won't want to have to answer them!

It's a leap of faith for me...

Just because I couldn't trust someone in
a prior relationship doesn't mean the next
person is untrustworthy. I like to start
fresh. No need to carry that over into
something new. It just causes stress on the
relationship.

"How do you learn to trust again..."

By remebering how good it feels to believe in someone,

and for someone else to believe in you.


The potential consequences of misplaced trust range from inconvenience to catastrophic destruction, the consequence of never taking that chance...is an empty life.


It's all about risk versus reward.