tough decision ( Archived) (13)

In the last post I mentioned a woman who is in California that I was interested in dating. In that time since then we have decided to be friends until I have graduated from college and I'm not so tied up in New York. I feel as if I should go find a school out in California so I can be closer to Stephanie. Not too long ago she stopped dating the guy she was with but shortly after she has found someone else. She told me that if she is single and I've got my life in better order that she would be in a relationship with me since it would be more practical. I feel as if this girl is special to me and I don't know if I can find someone as caring, kind, funny, and affectionate as she is. We also have common interests and experiences we both can relate to. Unfortunately I told her that I cared about what others would think of me, including my family, about going out to California. So what I am asking your opinion on is should I move on, continue to be friends with this girl, and find a woman who lives closer? Also, should I place my family in New York as more of an importance than a relationship with a woman?

Once again thank you for taking the time to read this and respond.

Chris

You seem like a nice guy but it's time you got a wake up call. Do you think this Stephanie is really into you? the answer is no.

If someone wants to get closer to you they dont' date another guy, right after breaking up with another guy.

This happens so often; you are TOTALLY into her and she isn't that much into you. Probably doesn't want to tell you the truth.

Find girls near you to date, and just be her friend. To move across the country and base your life on someone that doesnt' really care to be with you is really asking for trouble.

Look at someones actions and don't listen to their words. If she was really into a relationship she would wait. good luck.

I agree with Chris.
Love is blind, it makes everybody fails to see the reality logically that this kind of relationship that you have, will have a very slim chance to work. Women in general are very "sure" that once they are in contact with one guy either via dating site or real life, they tend to be "faithful".

My advise, release her. You are worthy to be with a woman who see your value, love you back and treat you well.

Thanks for your input and what you said might be the unfortunate truth that I have to face eventually. I have strong feelings for this girl Stephanie and she has said to me that she loves me back but when she finds another guy almost a week after then I start to wonder how much she likes me. She isn't dating this guy yet since she needs time to get over the other guy she was dating, but it seems likely that they will be together. I am going to talk to other women who live much closer to New York.

Thank you! =) What both you and the other poster have said is true and I should move on and continue to be friend with this woman.

Thanks! Your honest opinion is helpful to me. I plan on saying in New York and getting my bachelor's degree in Animation/illustration at Fredonia.

You said she was waiting for you to get your life in order? Sounds like you are doing the right thing to me by finishing your college, that is getting your life in order. I would stay friends with her and finish college where you are, if its meant to be then she will be there for you and wait till you finished college, thats how most great relationships begin..as friends , makes for a solid foundation . good luck to you....

Thank you! I was thinking that if she is single when I am through college and have some work experience then I will go out to California to be with her. For all I know I may meet someone who is just as wonderful as she is in college. I just feel like she's pretty special to me and I don't want to give up hope that I could be with her someday.