Can anybody answer this? (22)
josingleinspainLa Cala, Andalusia Spain86 Threads 1 Polls 430 PostsWell she has now stopped it. It was the wrong thing from the start although she believed he really did care but as they say actions speak loader then words.
Tulefel: Don’t know… A control freak?
Don’t know either why shé allows anybody to treat her in that way.
Don’t know either why shé allows anybody to treat her in that way.
Totally agree, and would add that with his statement after three days, he knows that he has issues as he has probably been through the same episode before..
First and foremost, she should place her own health and well-being first and let her daughter know and leave him asap.. one day he may go too far and she ends up paying the ultimate price..
Yash124g: Totally agree, and would add that with his statement after three days, he knows that he has issues as he has probably been through the same episode before..
First and foremost, she should place her own health and well-being first and let her daughter know and leave him asap.. one day he may go too far and she ends up paying the ultimate price..
First and foremost, she should place her own health and well-being first and let her daughter know and leave him asap.. one day he may go too far and she ends up paying the ultimate price..
She almost did as he tried to push her down a really steep stair case.
She has very few friends left as he kept he very isolated and she is feeling very messed up and totally alone.
josingleinspain: Well she has now stopped it. It was the wrong thing from the start although she believed he really did care but as they say actions speak loader then words.
That's great to hear!!
Now as for her friends, I'm sure they will all get back in touch when they know the reason for her recent behaviour and I expect they also know that it was out-of-character for her..
Also, she must not feel ashamed about what happened and it is better if she tells people about it.. a problem shared is a problem halved.. She has nothing to feel bad about!! She was to all purposes deceived as to what his true character was and if anything, she is to be applauded for coming through it all and she is a far stronger person than she thinks she is!!
Oh, and had to post it...
josingleinspain: She has very few friends left as he kept he very isolated and she is feeling very messed up and totally alone.
Well… I’m guessing that he didn’t behave like this before their marriage (otherwise she wouldn’t have married him). Perhaps because she had her own will and maneuver then and could walk out of relationship any time. She ought to get her leverage back – get friends, independence, confidence. I know that it’s easier said than done, but otherwise it’s obviously dangerous to stay together with him when she is so dependent on him. Does she have own money?
Tulefel: Well… I’m guessing that he didn’t behave like this before their marriage (otherwise she wouldn’t have married him). Perhaps because she had her own will and maneuver then and could walk out of relationship any time. She ought to get her leverage back – get friends, independence, confidence. I know that it’s easier said than done, but otherwise it’s obviously dangerous to stay together with him when she is so dependent on him. Does she have own money?
No she did not have her own money. She was trying to work from home. It was not easy and she made very little money if any.He constandly blamed her for it she was looking to find work. He gave her some money but then she had to spend most of it on the house or something for the house. She was totally dependant on him she really did not want to be.In Spain you can divorce sombody and they hav no need to pay them anything at all. She has about 12 euro to her name at the moment. But at least he had to leave the house because he got violent. As the marraige was so short he gets of Scott free. He put her through hell. She will get up and go on. Thanx for the advice so far.
Psycopaths.
Josi ... If my first ex wasn`t dead I`d swear blind she`d married HIM! But he`s not around so it wasn`t him.
Yes, there is as particular breed of man who is like that. And very hard to spot before getting involved with them. One has to learn to "read the signs".
I knew someone else who was married to one of those ...... she managed to get hold of his gun one day and emptied the magazine into him.
The judge let her off the manslaughter charge (or murder, I forget what it was) because of the injuries she had suffered from for over 10 years. Broken limbs, burnt skin, terrible scars both physical and emotional, internal injuries ......
I was lucky in my experience - I only got 2 broken fingers and 2 dislocated ones .....And the Russian Roulette spins were lucky for me too .. unless there were actually no bullets in the gun anyway ......
Tell her to escape, as soon as possible. She will survive.
Yes, there is as particular breed of man who is like that. And very hard to spot before getting involved with them. One has to learn to "read the signs".
I knew someone else who was married to one of those ...... she managed to get hold of his gun one day and emptied the magazine into him.
The judge let her off the manslaughter charge (or murder, I forget what it was) because of the injuries she had suffered from for over 10 years. Broken limbs, burnt skin, terrible scars both physical and emotional, internal injuries ......
I was lucky in my experience - I only got 2 broken fingers and 2 dislocated ones .....And the Russian Roulette spins were lucky for me too .. unless there were actually no bullets in the gun anyway ......
Tell her to escape, as soon as possible. She will survive.
Yes it is just so crazy as every person he meets think wow he is so great as he can lie and charm the pants of a saint. How can some people like that be part of the world without a big warning sign saying I will drive you either crazy or try and kill you. He is the most charming man you can ever wish to meet. It just makes me mad that men like him can make others lives total hell and then claim they are the one that is insane. The worst part is he gets away with it.
josingleinspain: Yes it is just so crazy as every person he meets think wow he is so great as he can lie and charm the pants of a saint. How can some people like that be part of the world without a big warning sign saying I will drive you either crazy or try and kill you. He is the most charming man you can ever wish to meet. It just makes me mad that men like him can make others lives total hell and then claim they are the one that is insane. The worst part is he gets away with it.
Jekyll and Hyde character. Everyone else who is not close to him would say he's a fantastic guy.....indeed very friendly and charming to the outer crowd. Behind closed doors, maniacal behaviour.
It starts very slowly and you have to be all eyes and ears, and run for the hills at the very first sign of a put-down, critique... or one word that makes you feel remotely inferior to grandiose.
Must say I'm saying *he* since the thread starter is a woman referring to a man. Such characters are not gender specific.
Reading your personal ( just got married)...I am sorry for calling you a physco....that was not intended....you are lonely and confused and wish to understand your situation.... I cannot give you the answer to your question....but in due time a solution ?
Kontikitact: Reading your personal ( just got married)...I am sorry for calling you a physco....that was not intended....you are lonely and confused and wish to understand your situation.... I cannot give you the answer to your question....but in due time a solution ?
I can tell you this much if the facts were known before the would have never been a wedding to start with. The other facts is too that if a woman stays single for 14 years and then get married she sure as hell would not have married a man if their was any way of knowing what was to come. You never know a person till you live with them. They never spend more then about 3-6 days at a time together. Yes I guess getting married if you have not lived together was not a good move.Hope these help..
"Never are we nearer the Light
than when darkness is deepest."
--Swami Vivekananda
“It's not hard to make decisions when you know what your values are.”
? Roy Disney
Thomas Alva Edison's optimistic slant of life when he said, "I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work."
"The hardest thing to learn in life is which bridge to cross and which to burn."
~David Russell
"Your life is much more important that you can imagine... it is your first treasure."
Maya Angelou
"Never are we nearer the Light
than when darkness is deepest."
--Swami Vivekananda
“It's not hard to make decisions when you know what your values are.”
? Roy Disney
Thomas Alva Edison's optimistic slant of life when he said, "I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work."
"The hardest thing to learn in life is which bridge to cross and which to burn."
~David Russell
"Your life is much more important that you can imagine... it is your first treasure."
Maya Angelou
Angelis82: Sounds like obsessive insecurity - he feels the need to control here because at some level he thinks/knows he doesn't deserve her.
Sad and dangerous - she needs to get out ASAP
Yes sadly it got really dangerous. Like someone said it is hard to see the wood for the trees. Now is time to moove on the could have ended up really bad as it was just a proses of absolute control in every way you can imagine.Sad and dangerous - she needs to get out ASAP
In one way, this is such a sad story. In another way it's a happy story because it has a relatively happy ending.
Poor woman. What a big big disappointment.
People can be so complicated and hard to read.
There's a lot of bad people who are the most charming people in the world - as long as they are getting what they want. As soon as they're not getting what they want, you find out what they're really like. Or you get people who put on an act. An act which they eventually drop when they let their gaurd down.
Thankfully, most people in this world are basically good. There's more fish in the sea for this woman - if she ever feels like going fishing again.
Poor woman. What a big big disappointment.
People can be so complicated and hard to read.
There's a lot of bad people who are the most charming people in the world - as long as they are getting what they want. As soon as they're not getting what they want, you find out what they're really like. Or you get people who put on an act. An act which they eventually drop when they let their gaurd down.
Thankfully, most people in this world are basically good. There's more fish in the sea for this woman - if she ever feels like going fishing again.
lint874: In one way, this is such a sad story. In another way it's a happy story because it has a relatively happy ending.
Poor woman. What a big big disappointment.People can be so complicated and hard to read.
There's a lot of bad people who are the most charming people in the world - as long as they are getting what they want. As soon as they're not getting what they want, you find out what they're really like. Or you get people who put on an act. An act which they eventually drop when they let their gaurd down.Thankfully, most people in this world are basically good. There's more fish in the sea for this woman - if she ever feels like going fishing again.
YES thanx for what you all have replied so far. When she reads this it helps on some level to cope with what happened. It will take a very, very long time I think before the fishing starts again if it ever will again. The mess of it all can put a person of the humans race and as for trust not sure when it will be something that she can ever do again. She feels so embarrased that she was not clever enough to see what was going to happen. She feels stupid for believing him and trusting in him to get married to him. For giving so much to him and getting so much bad back. But I guess it is time to try and heal her life.Poor woman. What a big big disappointment.People can be so complicated and hard to read.
There's a lot of bad people who are the most charming people in the world - as long as they are getting what they want. As soon as they're not getting what they want, you find out what they're really like. Or you get people who put on an act. An act which they eventually drop when they let their gaurd down.Thankfully, most people in this world are basically good. There's more fish in the sea for this woman - if she ever feels like going fishing again.
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