First love ( Archived) (14)

Oct 16, 2011 5:34 AM CST First love
missingLondon
missingLondonmissingLondonMsida, Majjistral Malta101 Threads 11 Polls 455 Posts
We were together from the ages of 24 to 36. We bought our first property together, raised a cat, emigrated together, embarked on so many adventures together. The chemistry was awesome, the intellectual wavelength too. Unfortunately we wanted different things in life and the love didn't last. I don't want him back, but am not bothered to replace him prefering to be single. I had relationships before him, none as long as with him. Can you ever feel the way you felt with your first love again or do you carry those memories with you to your death bed? Is any subsequent relationship you may have a poor second best?
------ This thread is Archived ------
Oct 16, 2011 5:44 AM CST First love
EagleWoman
EagleWomanEagleWomanMalaga, Andalusia Spain22 Threads 4,719 Posts
missingLondon: We were together from the ages of 24 to 36. We bought our first property together, raised a cat, emigrated together, embarked on so many adventures together. The chemistry was awesome, the intellectual wavelength too. Unfortunately we wanted different things in life and the love didn't last. I don't want him back, but am not bothered to replace him prefering to be single. I had relationships before him, none as long as with him. Can you ever feel the way you felt with your first love again or do you carry those memories with you to your death bed? Is any subsequent relationship you may have a poor second best?


Yes you carry those memories with you to your death bed ... but in a good way ...

Subsequent relationships are NOT a poor second best ... they are just different because no 2 people are alike the combination of you and someone else will never be exactely the same as THAT ONE relationship, it'll just be different.

Some "things" will be even better, some won't. The things is not to focus on the "details" but on the overall balance.

hug
------ This thread is Archived ------
Oct 16, 2011 2:25 PM CST First love
ninamil
ninamilninamilGoiania, Goias Brazil31 Threads 1 Polls 696 Posts
My first love is in a distant past, Hard to forget was my last
------ This thread is Archived ------
Oct 16, 2011 5:57 PM CST First love
buckeye1332
buckeye1332buckeye1332marionish, Ohio USA2 Threads 40 Posts
I don't think we ever forget our first love, whether it is good or bad memories. I do think you can love another just as much though. The main thing is that you cannot let your past love affect any new love. By that I mean having any expectations of the new person compared to the old, not holding them to the old's standards.
------ This thread is Archived ------
Oct 16, 2011 6:39 PM CST First love
lifeisadream
lifeisadreamlifeisadreamMexi Go, Mexico State Mexico156 Threads 20 Polls 16,713 Posts
First love ………..oH,so beautiful, so nice, so perfect!
It was platonic, it was very especial……

2nd. Love………… oH, so beautiful, so nice, so perfect!
I was married to him for 24 yr.

3d. love……….
Has to be funtastic and the best of all!!!

Of course we all have good and bad memories but it is our choice to carry and remember what we chose.

I do chose to keep the great and good memories.

dancing
------ This thread is Archived ------
Oct 17, 2011 7:57 PM CST First love
ninamil
ninamilninamilGoiania, Goias Brazil31 Threads 1 Polls 696 Posts
EagleWoman: Yes you carry those memories with you to your death bed ... but in a good way ...

Subsequent relationships are NOT a poor second best ... they are just different because no 2 people are alike the combination of you and someone else will never be exactely the same as THAT ONE relationship, it'll just be different.

Some "things" will be even better, some won't. The things is not to focus on the "details" but on the overall balance.


wave
Good thinking: In love no one can hurt anyone, everyone is responsible for what we feel and we can not blame someone else for it ... I've felt hurt when I lost the man I fell in love ... Today I am convinced that no one loses anyone, because no one has ... This is the true experience of being free, have the most important thing in the world without owning it.
------ This thread is Archived ------
Oct 17, 2011 8:14 PM CST First love
ninamil: My first love is in a distant past, Hard to forget was my last


In my first marriage, I'm not sure we even loved each other at all. My second marriage is the one that I judge all my relationships by, because the love we have for each other was immense. Problem is, the better things are in a marriage, the harder the fall when things go south.
------ This thread is Archived ------
Oct 17, 2011 8:27 PM CST First love
ninamil
ninamilninamilGoiania, Goias Brazil31 Threads 1 Polls 696 Posts
HuggerMan4U: In my first marriage, I'm not sure we even loved each other at all. My second marriage is the one that I judge all my relationships by, because the love we have for each other was immense. Problem is, the better things are in a marriage, the harder the fall when things go south.


To forget hurt, but do not to know what to do is the worst pain handshake
------ This thread is Archived ------
Oct 17, 2011 9:52 PM CST First love
missingLondon: We were together from the ages of 24 to 36. We bought our first property together, raised a cat, emigrated together, embarked on so many adventures together. The chemistry was awesome, the intellectual wavelength too. Unfortunately we wanted different things in life and the love didn't last. I don't want him back, but am not bothered to replace him prefering to be single. I had relationships before him, none as long as with him. Can you ever feel the way you felt with your first love again or do you carry those memories with you to your death bed? Is any subsequent relationship you may have a poor second best?


no - I really can'r relate -I do not want to replace my ex. Each new relationship has it's own merits. I would like something with deeper intimacy and sharing - more openess - less competitiveness less criticism than when I was married - more laughter and wild weekends between the sheets - that sort of thingheart wings
------ This thread is Archived ------
Oct 17, 2011 10:03 PM CST First love
see I don't talk about stuff like that, years ago
------ This thread is Archived ------
Oct 18, 2011 2:11 AM CST First love
bestbefore
bestbeforebestbeforesomewhere, Dorset, England UK116 Threads 2 Polls 4,701 Posts
missingLondon: We were together from the ages of 24 to 36. We bought our first property together, raised a cat, emigrated together, embarked on so many adventures together. The chemistry was awesome, the intellectual wavelength too. Unfortunately we wanted different things in life and the love didn't last. I don't want him back, but am not bothered to replace him prefering to be single. I had relationships before him, none as long as with him. Can you ever feel the way you felt with your first love again or do you carry those memories with you to your death bed? Is any subsequent relationship you may have a poor second best?


Having seen many of your threads on this particular subject ,I personally don't think that you are over him,as you keep resurrecting the subject.

Let it go!hug
------ This thread is Archived ------
Oct 18, 2011 9:22 AM CST First love
EagleWoman
EagleWomanEagleWomanMalaga, Andalusia Spain22 Threads 4,719 Posts
ninamil: Good thinking: In love no one can hurt anyone, everyone is responsible for what we feel and we can not blame someone else for it ... I've felt hurt when I lost the man I fell in love ... Today I am convinced that no one loses anyone, because no one has ... This is the true experience of being free, have the most important thing in the world without owning it.


Great post Nina!!! Difficult at times but but great wisdom!!
------ This thread is Archived ------
Oct 18, 2011 9:27 AM CST First love
reb56
reb56reb56carthage, Missouri USA55 Polls 8,629 Posts
julie ah/puppy love,she broke my heart/lifes lessons.
------ This thread is Archived ------
Oct 21, 2011 1:26 AM CST First love
smiylley17
smiylley17smiylley17Cortland, New York USA42 Threads 717 Posts
If you always hold on to it and dont let yourself let go then the others will be second mainly if you never let yourself truly commit because you still cant let the past,go I know,exactly how you feel im in thar transition now dorta ....good luck
------ This thread is Archived ------
Post Comment - Post a comment on this Forum Thread

This Thread is Archived

This Thread is archived, so you will no longer be able to post to it. Threads get archived automatically when they are older than 3 months.

« Go back to All Threads
Message #318

Stats for this Thread

1,383 Views
13 Comments
by missingLondon (101 Threads)
Created: Oct 2011
Last Viewed: Mar 24
Last Commented: Oct 2011

Share this Thread

We use cookies to ensure that you have the best experience possible on our website. Read Our Privacy Policy Here