History of the internet ( Archived) (7)

manOfewwords: In case you didn't know how it all came about...

The History of the Internet



In ancient Israel,
it came to pass
that a trader
by the name of Abraham Com
did take unto himself a young wife
by the name of Dot.
And Dot Com was a comely woman,
broad of shoulder and long of leg.
Indeed, she was often called
Amazon Dot Com.



And she said unto Abraham, her husband,
"Why dost thou travel
so far from town to town with thy goods
when thou canst trade
without ever leaving thy tent?"



And Abraham did look at her
as though she were
several saddle bags short of a camel load,
but simply said, "How, dear?"




And Dot replied,
"I will place drums in all the towns
and drums in between
to send messages saying
what you have for sale, and
they will reply telling you
who hath the best price.
And the sale can be made on the drums
and delivery made by
Uriah's Pony Stable
(UPS)."



Abraham thought long
and decided he would let Dot
have her way with the drums.
And the drums rang out
and were an immediate success.
Abraham sold all the goods he had
at the top price,
without ever having to move from his tent.




To prevent neighboring countries
from overhearing what the drums were saying,
Dot devised a system that only she
and the drummers knew.
It was known as
Must Send Drum Over
Sound (MSDOS),
and she also developed a language
to transmit ideas and pictures -
Hebrew To The People (HTTP).



And the young men did take
to Dot Com's trading as doth
the greedy horsefly take to camel dung.
They were called
Nomadic Ecclesiastical Rich
Dominican Sybarites, or
NERDS.



And lo, the land was so feverish with joy
at the new riches
and the deafening sound of drums
that no one noticed that the real riches
were going to that enterprising drum dealer,
Brother William of Gates, who
bought off every drum maker in the land.
And indeed did insist on
drums to be made that would work only
with Brother Gates ' drumheads and drumsticks.




And Dot did say,
"Oh, Abraham, what we have
started is being taken over by others."



And Abraham looked out over
the Bay of Ezekiel ,
or eBay
as it came to be known.
He said, "We
need a name that reflects what we are."




And Dot replied,
"Young Ambitious Hebrew Owner Operators."
"YAHOO," said Abraham.
And
because it was Dot's idea,
they named it YAHOO Dot Com.



Abraham's cousin, Joshua,
being the young
Gregarious Energetic Educated Kid (GEEK)
that he was,
soon started using Dot's drums
to locate things around the countryside.
It soon became known as
God's Own Official Guide to
Locating Everything (GOOGLE).



That is how it all began. And that's the truth.

manOfewwords: good ole Al