Modern Manners (84)
Here's another thing that floored me. Once I was at a cheezy business seminar with co workers. We went to a hotel and were waiting in line outside the gargantuan seminar room. They had set up a counter with complimentary coffee and donuts on the right side of the big hall. There was a row of fancy wing back chairs and nice lamp tables way far away on the left side. My coworkers all got a coffee and a donut, trotted over and sat in the upholstered chairs, pulled the ornamental lamp tables in front of them, and used them like dining room tables.
I thought they were behaving like animals since those tables and chairs were not meant for that. I also thought it was slightly rude of the hotel to make us eat and drink standing up. But I thought my co workers were apes for rearranging the furniture in the hall. Also, I thought they were rude for plonging into all the chairs instead of leaving those chairs for people who might need them more. I never said anything about it but I was surprised at their lack of ability to figure this stuff out.
I thought they were behaving like animals since those tables and chairs were not meant for that. I also thought it was slightly rude of the hotel to make us eat and drink standing up. But I thought my co workers were apes for rearranging the furniture in the hall. Also, I thought they were rude for plonging into all the chairs instead of leaving those chairs for people who might need them more. I never said anything about it but I was surprised at their lack of ability to figure this stuff out.
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i always excuse my body functions outloud alone even...my dad use to back hand me for not doing it..today its instinct...
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marss: i always excuse my body functions outloud alone even...my dad use to back hand me for not doing it..today its instinct...
See, it's bad manners to not excuse yourself, and it's worse manners for your dad to hit you. I hope you didn't grow up mentally scarred. That, to me, seems like a way to teach kids to hate good manners.
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MY dad used to make rude noises and smells constantly and never excused himself.
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Witchaywoman: See, it's bad manners to not excuse yourself, and it's worse manners for your dad to hit you. I hope you didn't grow up mentally scarred. That, to me, seems like a way to teach kids to hate good manners.
i am not scarred lol...respect and manners go hand in hand...i grew up in palm beach county and know a soup spoon and salad fork are optional in a place setting...i have seen the glass bit you use as well...i have friends that thing using anything plastic to cook or eat with is bad manners...i have manners but there is a time and place for them as well...
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I agree there is a time and place for manners. I always thought paper plates and plastic spoons were tasteless and unenvironmntal, but if someone isserving on them at a party I just use them. If everyone else has different manners from my mom, then maybe they're all right and we're wrong.
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Witchaywoman: MY dad used to make rude noises and smells constantly and never excused himself.
i understand that mine was the same way...he built benches for the dinner table and i had to sit near him...i was a whipping post...but he beat life into me i believe...no man beats me now...he was from alabama so we know they lack there...where i grew up i dated a girl whose family dressed for dinner....at home we always ate as a family...while my family was together i insisted on it as well...there are things a family should do as a unit...------ This thread is Archived ------
Witchaywoman: I agree there is a time and place for manners. I always thought paper plates and plastic spoons were tasteless and unenvironmntal, but if someone isserving on them at a party I just use them. If everyone else has different manners from my mom, then maybe they're all right and we're wrong.
i recall a picnic when i was young the girls mother brung dinner plates and silver ware and glass glasses no paper or plastic....i recall laughing inwardly....i was a boy scout several years and we used paper and plastic but always took it with use when we left...------ This thread is Archived ------
Witchaywoman: Proper manners don't seem to be as rigid as they used to be. What kinds of things do people do that you think are bad manners?
I set out 2 kinds of glasses for a dinner; big ones for water and small ones for wine. I told my brother which was which. When I left the room they poured wine in the water glasses and left the wine glasses sitting on the table empty.
The next morning I made a pot of tea and it was small so I set out some small tea cups. My dad wanted a big mug of tea, so I made him a separate mug because the pot was so small a big mug would take a third and the rest would get cold. Then my brother and his friend came down and she wanted a big mug too. So, I think they are socially impaired about which cup to use. I mean, geez, it's not rocket science. Look at the size of the pot. Note the TEA cups placed around the tea pot. DUUUUUUH! Note the number and size of the wine glasses. There are twice as many glasses as guests. Some are small and some are large. What did they figure the small ones were for? decorations?
I set out 2 kinds of glasses for a dinner; big ones for water and small ones for wine. I told my brother which was which. When I left the room they poured wine in the water glasses and left the wine glasses sitting on the table empty.
The next morning I made a pot of tea and it was small so I set out some small tea cups. My dad wanted a big mug of tea, so I made him a separate mug because the pot was so small a big mug would take a third and the rest would get cold. Then my brother and his friend came down and she wanted a big mug too. So, I think they are socially impaired about which cup to use. I mean, geez, it's not rocket science. Look at the size of the pot. Note the TEA cups placed around the tea pot. DUUUUUUH! Note the number and size of the wine glasses. There are twice as many glasses as guests. Some are small and some are large. What did they figure the small ones were for? decorations?
are we really that picky,.. a small cup for a small drink
a big one for a large one ? the small cup is too small ? duuuuuh!
use a big one then, didnt they say they would like a big mug of tea ?
how do you put a large drink in a small cup ?
tho you seemed pretty bored making tea setting out cups for use
then complain when they get used,... why did you buy them then ?
ha ha they also gave you something to do? more dramatic complaining ha ha!
lighten up! smile,.... just get bigger cups ha ha!
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nice of you to come out of your way to stomp on this lovely ladies topic...we see where your manners are i guess...
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Hi Witchay ....
<< check out the manners...
Personally I don't judge any of this as poor manners, more a breech of old fashioned etiquette which may never have been taught in the first place.
Manners are always important IMO but common sense is beginning to erode the old elitist Colonial ways and traditions as a more classless society now emerges.
A slippery slope decline you might say ! That's up to society to prevent with combined good parenting, schooling and the a responsible media. Ha, what a joke that last one is, hopefully the first two can do the job.
After all, that is their job.
<< check out the manners... Personally I don't judge any of this as poor manners, more a breech of old fashioned etiquette which may never have been taught in the first place.
Manners are always important IMO but common sense is beginning to erode the old elitist Colonial ways and traditions as a more classless society now emerges.
A slippery slope decline you might say ! That's up to society to prevent with combined good parenting, schooling and the a responsible media. Ha, what a joke that last one is, hopefully the first two can do the job.
After all, that is their job.
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Witchaywoman: Proper manners don't seem to be as rigid as they used to be. What kinds of things do people do that you think are bad manners?
I set out 2 kinds of glasses for a dinner; big ones for water and small ones for wine. I told my brother which was which. When I left the room they poured wine in the water glasses and left the wine glasses sitting on the table empty.
The next morning I made a pot of tea and it was small so I set out some small tea cups. My dad wanted a big mug of tea, so I made him a separate mug because the pot was so small a big mug would take a third and the rest would get cold. Then my brother and his friend came down and she wanted a big mug too. So, I think they are socially impaired about which cup to use. I mean, geez, it's not rocket science. Look at the size of the pot. Note the TEA cups placed around the tea pot. DUUUUUUH! Note the number and size of the wine glasses. There are twice as many glasses as guests. Some are small and some are large. What did they figure the small ones were for? decorations?
I set out 2 kinds of glasses for a dinner; big ones for water and small ones for wine. I told my brother which was which. When I left the room they poured wine in the water glasses and left the wine glasses sitting on the table empty.
The next morning I made a pot of tea and it was small so I set out some small tea cups. My dad wanted a big mug of tea, so I made him a separate mug because the pot was so small a big mug would take a third and the rest would get cold. Then my brother and his friend came down and she wanted a big mug too. So, I think they are socially impaired about which cup to use. I mean, geez, it's not rocket science. Look at the size of the pot. Note the TEA cups placed around the tea pot. DUUUUUUH! Note the number and size of the wine glasses. There are twice as many glasses as guests. Some are small and some are large. What did they figure the small ones were for? decorations?
when people rudely exclude other's opinion in a public forum
when they were just trying to contribute a funny observation to the ladies thread?
whats also rude is when, you want a big drink and there is a big cup right there
then when you use it your in trouble,.. thats like a rude entrapment ha ha!
and when people are set up to get in trouble
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i do see you have a valid point...maybe little glasses are easier to wash...sorry i got ugly with you....i know women love consistencey on their table settings...if your little glass is empty we will refill it...no worries...
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Witchaywoman: Proper manners don't seem to be as rigid as they used to be. What kinds of things do people do that you think are bad manners?
I set out 2 kinds of glasses for a dinner; big ones for water and small ones for wine. I told my brother which was which. When I left the room they poured wine in the water glasses and left the wine glasses sitting on the table empty.
The next morning I made a pot of tea and it was small so I set out some small tea cups. My dad wanted a big mug of tea, so I made him a separate mug because the pot was so small a big mug would take a third and the rest would get cold. Then my brother and his friend came down and she wanted a big mug too. So, I think they are socially impaired about which cup to use. I mean, geez, it's not rocket science. Look at the size of the pot. Note the TEA cups placed around the tea pot. DUUUUUUH! Note the number and size of the wine glasses. There are twice as many glasses as guests. Some are small and some are large. What did they figure the small ones were for? decorations?
I set out 2 kinds of glasses for a dinner; big ones for water and small ones for wine. I told my brother which was which. When I left the room they poured wine in the water glasses and left the wine glasses sitting on the table empty.
The next morning I made a pot of tea and it was small so I set out some small tea cups. My dad wanted a big mug of tea, so I made him a separate mug because the pot was so small a big mug would take a third and the rest would get cold. Then my brother and his friend came down and she wanted a big mug too. So, I think they are socially impaired about which cup to use. I mean, geez, it's not rocket science. Look at the size of the pot. Note the TEA cups placed around the tea pot. DUUUUUUH! Note the number and size of the wine glasses. There are twice as many glasses as guests. Some are small and some are large. What did they figure the small ones were for? decorations?
hey thanks for the giggle! im off to bed!
no harm done,.. night all
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i am not out to impress her was just commenting and it would take more than a no nothing punk like u to ire me...
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If a guest of mine was gagging for a big cup of tea in the morning, I'd consider it bad manners not to provide it for them.
I remember a friend coming for lunch when our kids were small. I handed her her meal in the kitchen and pointed to some lemon slices for her to help herself. She picked up the unsliced bit and used it, to my horror.
Looking back I was being a bit of a control freak and sweating the small stuff. The reason? I had so little money, a lemon was a precious commodity, eeked out to last for many meals.
I had another friend who had very rigid ideas of manners that were only changeable by her. She was a total control freak and I think she liked people to fail so she could derogate them.
We've gone past the days of standard etiquette written in stone. Each family, or individual has their own customs and culture. Although its good to be aware and understand other's circumstances, its also good to understand and forgive transgressors of ours. That's manners, too.
I remember a friend coming for lunch when our kids were small. I handed her her meal in the kitchen and pointed to some lemon slices for her to help herself. She picked up the unsliced bit and used it, to my horror.
Looking back I was being a bit of a control freak and sweating the small stuff. The reason? I had so little money, a lemon was a precious commodity, eeked out to last for many meals.
I had another friend who had very rigid ideas of manners that were only changeable by her. She was a total control freak and I think she liked people to fail so she could derogate them.
We've gone past the days of standard etiquette written in stone. Each family, or individual has their own customs and culture. Although its good to be aware and understand other's circumstances, its also good to understand and forgive transgressors of ours. That's manners, too.
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First of all, people put the water in a big glass and the wine in a smaller glass. I don't know why. They just do. If people gave you a salad bowl and a dinner plate, would you agressively sneak around and put pieces of chicken in the salad bowls while the host turned their back, and then pass the chicken out to everyone?
Second of all, the tea thing went all funny because this house has several non functional tea pots and two that work. I took the biggest tea pot that works. It holds almost 5 cups of water, and made chai tea from a mix in there. There would be enough for everyone who wants some if people didn't hog it. I thought there was a chance that everyone might have a cup because the guest brought it. I was not sure. It's like this: If you go to dinner at someone else's house and there are five people at the table and five baked potatoes, would you run up and take two potatoes, leaving one person to not get a potato?
Second of all, the tea thing went all funny because this house has several non functional tea pots and two that work. I took the biggest tea pot that works. It holds almost 5 cups of water, and made chai tea from a mix in there. There would be enough for everyone who wants some if people didn't hog it. I thought there was a chance that everyone might have a cup because the guest brought it. I was not sure. It's like this: If you go to dinner at someone else's house and there are five people at the table and five baked potatoes, would you run up and take two potatoes, leaving one person to not get a potato?
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I set out 2 kinds of glasses for a dinner; big ones for water and small ones for wine. I told my brother which was which. When I left the room they poured wine in the water glasses and left the wine glasses sitting on the table empty.
The next morning I made a pot of tea and it was small so I set out some small tea cups. My dad wanted a big mug of tea, so I made him a separate mug because the pot was so small a big mug would take a third and the rest would get cold. Then my brother and his friend came down and she wanted a big mug too. So, I think they are socially impaired about which cup to use. I mean, geez, it's not rocket science. Look at the size of the pot. Note the TEA cups placed around the tea pot. DUUUUUUH! Note the number and size of the wine glasses. There are twice as many glasses as guests. Some are small and some are large. What did they figure the small ones were for? decorations?