Online communication (9)
Scubadiva: Each one of us has a different style of communicating. Some of us are better verbal communicators, some of us are brilliant writers, some of us aren't big communicators at all, etc.
The other day, I received an email from a person who, although a native speaker, cannot spell or form a coherent/complete sentence. Mind, I am still polite enough not to say something to the person, but I also have no interest to continue the conversation because code-cracking or guessing what might have been meant isn't what I enjoy doing in my spare time. It's tedious.
Granted, not everyone is like me, but I wonder whether people with poor written communication skills are in the wrong place/at a disadvantage in the online dating environment. So apart from the fact that those people are looking to meet someone, getting shot down over poor writing skills just adds to the level of frustration, I imagine and the person ends up worse (still solo and the ego trampled on).
So what is your reaction to people who contact you and display poor written comm. skills? Do you entertain such emails? Do you give the person a chance to speak with you (say on skype, etc.)?
The other day, I received an email from a person who, although a native speaker, cannot spell or form a coherent/complete sentence. Mind, I am still polite enough not to say something to the person, but I also have no interest to continue the conversation because code-cracking or guessing what might have been meant isn't what I enjoy doing in my spare time. It's tedious.
Granted, not everyone is like me, but I wonder whether people with poor written communication skills are in the wrong place/at a disadvantage in the online dating environment. So apart from the fact that those people are looking to meet someone, getting shot down over poor writing skills just adds to the level of frustration, I imagine and the person ends up worse (still solo and the ego trampled on).
So what is your reaction to people who contact you and display poor written comm. skills? Do you entertain such emails? Do you give the person a chance to speak with you (say on skype, etc.)?
I must admit that my first reaction to this type of thing is similar to yours Scubadiva - I find it very difficult, in fact I'm reluctant to communicate with someone who's spelling and grammar is very poor.
As far as skype, phone calls etc, the problem is that because of the way I feel on this issue, emails would be scant if not non-existent so it's unlikely that the relationship would progress to that level.
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serene56: I must admit that my first reaction to this type of thing is similar to yours Scubadiva - I find it very difficult, in fact I'm reluctant to communicate with someone who's spelling and grammar is very poor.
As far as skype, phone calls etc, the problem is that because of the way I feel on this issue, emails would be scant if not non-existent so it's unlikely that the relationship would progress to that level.
As far as skype, phone calls etc, the problem is that because of the way I feel on this issue, emails would be scant if not non-existent so it's unlikely that the relationship would progress to that level.
That is exactly what happens in my case also. Things don't even go past one or at a maximum two emails.
This fellow who wrote to me is very clearly a nice and polite person. That is why I replied to the first mail (mind, not inviting a response). He writes back and says if I'm interested to know more about him to look at the fb pro, but I decided that I don't want to do that. In fact, I do not want to continue the exchange. I know that sounds harsh and I don't feel good about it, but the first impression/imprint has been made and those things are hard to change in one's mind.
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Scubadiva: That is exactly what happens in my case also. Things don't even go past one or at a maximum two emails.
This fellow who wrote to me is very clearly a nice and polite person. That is why I replied to the first mail (mind, not inviting a response). He writes back and says if I'm interested to know more about him to look at the fb pro, but I decided that I don't want to do that. In fact, I do not want to continue the exchange. I know that sounds harsh and I don't feel good about it, but the first impression/imprint has been made and those things are hard to change in one's mind.
This fellow who wrote to me is very clearly a nice and polite person. That is why I replied to the first mail (mind, not inviting a response). He writes back and says if I'm interested to know more about him to look at the fb pro, but I decided that I don't want to do that. In fact, I do not want to continue the exchange. I know that sounds harsh and I don't feel good about it, but the first impression/imprint has been made and those things are hard to change in one's mind.
I think this falls firmly into the category of "If in doubt, don't" - and if they were to be honest, many people on here would probably agree with you .. and your decision.
On a lighter note, I'm one of those people who can't stand seeing misplaced apostrophes - "Hamburger's" "Fresh Avocado's"
Seriously though, I think your honesty is refreshing and it's not harsh, it's just reality
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serene56: I think this falls firmly into the category of "If in doubt, don't" - and if they were to be honest, many people on here would probably agree with you .. and your decision.
On a lighter note, I'm one of those people who can't stand seeing misplaced apostrophes - "Hamburger's" "Fresh Avocado's" Seriously though, I think your honesty is refreshing and it's not harsh, it's just reality
On a lighter note, I'm one of those people who can't stand seeing misplaced apostrophes - "Hamburger's" "Fresh Avocado's" Seriously though, I think your honesty is refreshing and it's not harsh, it's just reality
Believe me, the feeling is mutual in terms of honesty and frankness. The thing is nobody wants to be offensive and I think there is no value in hurting someone's feelings unnecessarily, but this is one of those slippery slopes, you know.
If you say nothing, they think you're arrogant; if you say something directly they also think you're arrogant and if you're nice about it, then they don't get it and if you accomodate them and reply, they get the wrong idea.
Oh, don't get me started on the ones that get my goat. Actually many people seem to be on the war path with apostrophes.
What I'm writing about is much much worse than misplaced apostrophes or not knowing when to use their vs there or it's vs its.
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Scubadiva: Believe me, the feeling is mutual in terms of honesty and frankness. The thing is nobody wants to be offensive and I think there is no value in hurting someone's feelings unnecessarily, but this is one of those slippery slopes, you know.
If you say nothing, they think you're arrogant; if you say something directly they also think you're arrogant and if you're nice about it, then they don't get it and if you accomodate them and reply, they get the wrong idea.
Oh, don't get me started on the ones that get my goat. Actually many people seem to be on the war path with apostrophes.
What I'm writing about is much much worse than misplaced apostrophes or not knowing when to use their vs there or it's vs its.
If you say nothing, they think you're arrogant; if you say something directly they also think you're arrogant and if you're nice about it, then they don't get it and if you accomodate them and reply, they get the wrong idea.
Oh, don't get me started on the ones that get my goat. Actually many people seem to be on the war path with apostrophes.
What I'm writing about is much much worse than misplaced apostrophes or not knowing when to use their vs there or it's vs its.
Well to get back to the point, my problems start with the profile - is it too difficult to use 'I' rather than "i" when referring to oneself, or am i lol out of touch with modern day cyber vernacular
And the sentence that goes on forever, in fact the whole profile is one long sentence with an occasional use of ,,, aargh, not for me I'm sorry
Theirs been times i've been called arrogant,,, up myself,,, judgemental etc,, but really,,, who care's
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Hello again Scuba/ serene, I recieve many of those mails that the english is broken,and Many from the USA, I understand with many english is their second Launguage, so I dont mind a few Typo Errors, but I speak strictly English, and I can really spell fairly well, I Just cant Type worth a darned, Lol and I do make my share of typing mistakes, and I should proof read more often....
Tho understanding that I must be on the same page with someone or it just cannot mesh. So Yes, I understand what you are saying, Nice Topic!
canyaheremenow
and I do make my share of typing mistakes, and I should proof read more often....Tho understanding that I must be on the same page with someone or it just cannot mesh. So Yes, I understand what you are saying, Nice Topic!
canyaheremenow
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serene56: Well to get back to the point, my problems start with the profile - is it too difficult to use 'I' rather than "i" when referring to oneself, or am i lol out of touch with modern day cyber vernacular
And the sentence that goes on forever, in fact the whole profile is one long sentence with an occasional use of ,,, aargh, not for me I'm sorry
Theirs been times i've been called arrogant,,, up myself,,, judgemental etc,, but really,,, who care's
And the sentence that goes on forever, in fact the whole profile is one long sentence with an occasional use of ,,, aargh, not for me I'm sorry
Theirs been times i've been called arrogant,,, up myself,,, judgemental etc,, but really,,, who care's
I just got another one:
In the profile, it says: Looking for a reasonable woman who is goo loyal and responsible....Awoman is ready for a life.
Under job, it says: An inteligent man with truthful taughts
So this is what really, really bothers me. Someone (presumably a native speaker) asking for someone "intelligent" and then producing this kind of advertisement. Watch this type of person post in the forum something to the effect that dating sites don't work, that women suck, etc.
I would not be so harsh if their demands were more humble, but no. I suppose the principle is: shoot high and see what happens.
Perhaps I should start writing introduction letters to some corporate billionaires or brilliant eggheads and see whether they'd like to slum it with me
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HotrodLarrys: Hello again Scuba/ serene, I recieve many of those mails that the english is broken,and Many from the USA, I understand with many english is their second Launguage, so I dont mind a few Typo Errors, but I speak strictly English, and I can really spell fairly well, I Just cant Type worth a darned, Lol and I do make my share of typing mistakes, and I should proof read more often....
Tho understanding that I must be on the same page with someone or it just cannot mesh. So Yes, I understand what you are saying, Nice Topic!
canyaheremenow
Tho understanding that I must be on the same page with someone or it just cannot mesh. So Yes, I understand what you are saying, Nice Topic!
canyaheremenow
Larry, of course when English is a second language, it's a different ballgame. I'm talking strictly about native speakers. Truthfully, yes, you should proofread your notes if you write to women. Would you expect a native speaker who is admittedly too lazy to proofread to be serious about getting to know you when she cannot take the time to make sure her letter to you is correct?
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Created: Nov 2011
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The other day, I received an email from a person who, although a native speaker, cannot spell or form a coherent/complete sentence. Mind, I am still polite enough not to say something to the person, but I also have no interest to continue the conversation because code-cracking or guessing what might have been meant isn't what I enjoy doing in my spare time. It's tedious.
Granted, not everyone is like me, but I wonder whether people with poor written communication skills are in the wrong place/at a disadvantage in the online dating environment. So apart from the fact that those people are looking to meet someone, getting shot down over poor writing skills just adds to the level of frustration, I imagine and the person ends up worse (still solo and the ego trampled on).
So what is your reaction to people who contact you and display poor written comm. skills? Do you entertain such emails? Do you give the person a chance to speak with you (say on skype, etc.)?