WOMEN'S REVENGE ( Archived) (11)

Dec 19, 2011 5:02 PM CST WOMEN'S REVENGE
Sunnydaze14
Sunnydaze14Sunnydaze14Dublin, Ireland105 Threads 3 Polls 2,870 Posts
'Cash, check or charge?' I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase.
As she fumbled for her wallet, I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.
'So, do you always carry your TV remote?' I asked.
'No,' she replied, 'but my husband refused to come shopping with me,
and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally.'


UNDERSTANDING WOMEN
(A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)
I know I'm not going to understand women.
I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax,
pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root,
and still be afraid of a spider.

WIFE VS. HUSBAND
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word..
An earlier discussion had led to an argument and
neither of them wanted to concede their position..
As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs,
the husband asked sarcastically, 'Relatives of yours?'
'Yep,' the wife replied, 'in-laws.'

WORDS
A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day.
30,000 to a man's 15,000.
The wife replied, 'The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men...
The husband then turned to his wife and asked, 'What?'

CREATION
A man said to his wife one day, 'I don't know how you can be
so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.
'The wife responded, 'Allow me to explain.
God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;
God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!


WHO DOES WHAT
A man and his wife were having an argument about who
should brew the coffee each morning.
The wife said, 'You should do it because you get up first,
and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee.
The husband said, 'You are in charge of cooking around here and
you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee.'
Wife replies, 'No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee..'
Husband replies, 'I can't believe that, show me.'
So she fetched the Bible, and opened the Old Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says .. 'HEBREWS'

The Silent Treatment
A man and his wife were having some problems at home
and were giving each other the silent treatment.
Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper,
'Please wake me at 5:00 AM .' He left it where he knew she would find it.
The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him,
when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.
The paper said, 'It is 5:00 AM . Wake up...'
Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.

God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece
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Dec 19, 2011 5:35 PM CST WOMEN'S REVENGE
venusenvy
venusenvyvenusenvyCalgary, Alberta Canada27 Threads 20,003 Posts
Happy Holidays Sunny! rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing wine gingerbread
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Dec 19, 2011 9:05 PM CST WOMEN'S REVENGE
jovisst
jovisstjovisstLjusdal, Gavleborg Sweden84 Threads 22 Polls 709 Posts
This is man bashing!!!
Funny but still.
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Dec 19, 2011 9:46 PM CST WOMEN'S REVENGE
Mermaidon
MermaidonMermaidonBrussels, Brussels (Bruxelles) Belgium26 Threads 4 Polls 1,116 Posts
jovisst: This is man bashing!!!
Funny but still.


It's in the Humor category, so you can't complain... You can't complain regardless anyways. Women can do it, it's supposed to be fun. laugh
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Dec 19, 2011 9:50 PM CST WOMEN'S REVENGE
tomcatwarne
tomcatwarnetomcatwarneOcean City, Plumouth, Devon, England UK289 Threads 7 Polls 17,106 Posts
Sunnydaze14: 'Cash, check or charge?' I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase.
As she fumbled for her wallet, I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.
'So, do you always carry your TV remote?' I asked.
'No,' she replied, 'but my husband refused to come shopping with me,
and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally.'


UNDERSTANDING WOMEN
(A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)
I know I'm not going to understand women.
I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax,
pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root,
and still be afraid of a spider.

WIFE VS. HUSBAND
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word..
An earlier discussion had led to an argument and
neither of them wanted to concede their position..
As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs,
the husband asked sarcastically, 'Relatives of yours?'
'Yep,' the wife replied, 'in-laws.'

WORDS
A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day.
30,000 to a man's 15,000.
The wife replied, 'The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men...
The husband then turned to his wife and asked, 'What?'

CREATION
A man said to his wife one day, 'I don't know how you can be
so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.
'The wife responded, 'Allow me to explain.
God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;
God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!


WHO DOES WHAT
A man and his wife were having an argument about who
should brew the coffee each morning.
The wife said, 'You should do it because you get up first,
and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee.
The husband said, 'You are in charge of cooking around here and
you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee.'
Wife replies, 'No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee..'
Husband replies, 'I can't believe that, show me.'
So she fetched the Bible, and opened the Old Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says .. 'HEBREWS'

The Silent Treatment
A man and his wife were having some problems at home
and were giving each other the silent treatment.
Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper,
'Please wake me at 5:00 AM .' He left it where he knew she would find it.
The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him,
when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.
The paper said, 'It is 5:00 AM . Wake up...'
Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.

God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece



I must laugh at these.rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing
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Dec 19, 2011 9:53 PM CST WOMEN'S REVENGE
tomcatwarne
tomcatwarnetomcatwarneOcean City, Plumouth, Devon, England UK289 Threads 7 Polls 17,106 Posts
Women: What would we do without them?

Well, we’d have a lot of peace and quiet and a lot more money, but the truth be told, we’d be miserable. Plus, we wouldn’t have near as many jokes to tell. Sure, you could still make fun of your buddy, but we’d be missing out on a lot of funny opportunities.

Enjoy these great jokes about our beloved women.

33. Bigamy is having one wife too many, but so is monogamy.

32. A man says to his friend, “I haven’t spoken to my wife in 18 months.”
The friend says, “Why not?”
The man says, “I don’t like to interrupt her.”
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Dec 21, 2011 5:48 AM CST WOMEN'S REVENGE
Mermaidon
MermaidonMermaidonBrussels, Brussels (Bruxelles) Belgium26 Threads 4 Polls 1,116 Posts
laugh thumbs up
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Dec 21, 2011 6:06 AM CST WOMEN'S REVENGE
Sunnydaze14
Sunnydaze14Sunnydaze14Dublin, Ireland105 Threads 3 Polls 2,870 Posts
rolling on the floor laughing Its all just fun, we laugh With each other not At each otherrolling on the floor laughing
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Dec 21, 2011 11:37 AM CST WOMEN'S REVENGE
cloud747
cloud747cloud747winnipeg, Manitoba Canada130 Threads 27 Polls 2,947 Posts
this is way too biased
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Dec 21, 2011 11:47 AM CST WOMEN'S REVENGE
single4ever
single4eversingle4everCalgary, Alberta Canada1,109 Posts
Sunnydaze14: Its all just fun, we laugh With each other not At each other


Agreed. We could all use a chuckle or two when life is so darn stressful. cheers
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Dec 21, 2011 4:42 PM CST WOMEN'S REVENGE
Sunnydaze14
Sunnydaze14Sunnydaze14Dublin, Ireland105 Threads 3 Polls 2,870 Posts
cloud747: this is way too biased


Where's your sense of humour, paleface??laugh
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by Sunnydaze14 (105 Threads)
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