How can u handle a man with kids? (7)
Mvdakker: when u are a single parent and the guy u meet also has grown up kids teenagers...
should women accept to always come second ??
should women accept to always come second ??
Not always but sometimes.
Mvdakker: when u are a single parent and the guy u meet also has grown up kids teenagers...
should women accept to always come second ??
should women accept to always come second ??
No you shouldn't, but it might be bad for relationship to put ultimatums and better to give in if the situation forces it.
This is sooooo hard! I chose to not date men with children under 18 while I was raising my child. There were several reasons, finances, holidays, ex wives, etc. But another was that I didn't want my child to have to be put second or third.
My brother did the "yours mine and ours" thing, he and his second wife have custody of all three of the previous children and now have four of their own. It took several years, but they have a pretty harmonious household. (But not quiet!)
There is no easy answer, good luck!
My brother did the "yours mine and ours" thing, he and his second wife have custody of all three of the previous children and now have four of their own. It took several years, but they have a pretty harmonious household. (But not quiet!)
There is no easy answer, good luck!
Mvdakker: when u are a single parent and the guy u meet also has grown up kids teenagers...
should women accept to always come second ??
should women accept to always come second ??
I`ve had two sets of step-children. The first batch were 9 and 12 years old, and the 2nd batch were twins of 21.
All I can say is that when it comes to dealing with your partners children, you just have to super-impose your own child over them and pretend to yourself that you are dealing with your own child - and then you have more patience, and actually some feelings of love towards them.
My now grown-up first batch ..... (well the youngest died when he was 29) but both of them sort-of loved me, and the oldest still says I was the best step-mom she ever had - hahahaaaa!
About "coming second" - well, where there are children involved, your, theirs, or both of yours, the children will always come first, when it is reasonable. To always put the children first is to just spoil and ruin them - so your partner needs to have a fairly level head about the situation, and not do more things out of a guilty conscience towards them - to be able to still treat the children as though the entire family is still "normal" - for example, as though they are joint children and nothing more special just because their parents are divorced.
KemChi: This is sooooo hard! I chose to not date men with children under 18 while I was raising my child. There were several reasons, finances, holidays, ex wives, etc. But another was that I didn't want my child to have to be put second or third.
My brother did the "yours mine and ours" thing, he and his second wife have custody of all three of the previous children and now have four of their own. It took several years, but they have a pretty harmonious household. (But not quiet!)
There is no easy answer, good luck!
My brother did the "yours mine and ours" thing, he and his second wife have custody of all three of the previous children and now have four of their own. It took several years, but they have a pretty harmonious household. (But not quiet!)
There is no easy answer, good luck!
Your comment is very valuable for me :-)
I am dating a single father with teenager kids and I don't want to involve in any single business of his kids although I wouldn't mind to listen his stories about the kids.
We decide to keep going like we are now until his children grow up and I stop working and traveling around the world. It is truly hard but we are committed to work hard to make it work.
Mvdakker: when u are a single parent and the guy u meet also has grown up kids teenagers...
should women accept to always come second ??
should women accept to always come second ??
Why make things so complicated, they're already complicated as it is without adding more complications on top of it.
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Created: Dec 2011
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should women accept to always come second ??