Am I a loser? (6)

'ello 'ello,

My starting line is 'i've never dated before'. Does this make me a loser?

From my school days up until now, I've always been so occupied with studying and work, that I haven't had time to meet anyone. I have lots of friends but they are mostly male friends. We go out a lot because I force them all to go with me. When we are out I don't have the courage to go up to a girl and 'out of the blue' talk to them. I just feel so embarresed to do this. I guess my career as a Structural Engineer doesn't help as well as it is a male dominated type of job. I hear work relationships is a no no!

I talk/meet with my friends a lot and one day they are happily in love, the next week they are single, then the next week, they have met another person! I just don't get how quickly people, in general, chop and change partners so quickly and yet, I can't seem to meet anyone. People say appearences don't matter but subconsciously, I think it is the driving force! I'm definately not the prettiest of people and I totally understand why I am still single from the appearence point of view.

I'm 25 now, still single, never dated and I just wanted to know some of your opinions. Good or bad comments all welcomed!

Thanks,

Sil

There's no easy way to do it, but you have to develop some confidence in yourself. Or fake it. That's really the only way women will take any notice of you. The reason all your mates seem to be in relationships all the time is because they aren't afraid to ask women out, and that's half the battle. Once you can do that, it'll get easier the more you do it. I mean, what's the worst that can happen? They can say no. But then again, they could say yes. How do you know if you don't ask?

Hi Sil Well done you for making a career important in your life.

I would imagine that you may be a little unsure of yourself around the female population,and perhaps lack confidence. It would appear that you are "out there" and mixing,so go with the flow and be bold. Nothing ventured nothing gained, but at 25 I wouldn't worry too much.

You seem like a perfectly normal person who actually has respect,which is rare in this day and age.

Hi All,

Thank you for your comments. Interesting to hear that I am a normal person and just on the shy side! I totally agree that if you don't try you won't know but it's so hard (in my opinion) to just be able to vomit lots of interesting topics on the spot!

I think I will start to pick up more hobbies as soon as my masters degree finishes this summer time. Hopefully that would build up some confidence!

I guess its lessons to learn in life as to how to communicate to people and not only to the same gender!

Thanks for your oppinions,

Much appriciated.

Sil