SongbirdsOPMossel Bay, Western Cape South Africa31 posts
Hi there,
Would like to discuss our experiences, hopes, aspirations of a relationship.
I live in a remote area and have not found what I'm seeking locally. I did meet and have a relationship with two local guys. One who lied about his marital status, the other who wants just to be friends but intimate at his leisure. Both had expectations which did not match mine. At this stage of my life, I would rather live alone then having the wrong partner. What I would like to ask is this. |If a man wants a relationship which includes intimacy, wouldn't it follow that that brings also responsibility? Like, caring for that women in all spheres, body, mind and spirit? I am unfortunately of a generation that believes that a man is a man and gives freely of his commitment which includes financial support, is generous with his feelings, aspirations, is a one woman man. Do I live in a dream world? Are there any gentleman that aren't scared to commit? Any man that can accept that we are not all fortune hunters? I will never give up looking for love and that knight in shining armour, even if there are some dents it it. At my age I know where I come from and where I want to got to. And I am not prepared to go down the ladder but up and that includes money, spirituality, interests shared, outlook on life.
I hope you don't mind me saying this but I think mentioning financial support will scare men away. Wouldn you be prepared to give as well as take this kind of support? It is the 21st century after all
SongbirdsOPMossel Bay, Western Cape South Africa31 posts
Yes I would but still think that to mention it might be too risky, it goes both ways. And, yes you are right, best not to mention finances at all, it' th men though which make a point of mentioning financial matters, most women don't. Will have to change my profile, I suppose, it just seems so odd that men seem to want commitment alongside no financial commitment
I am unfortunately of a generation that believes that a man is a man and gives freely of his commitment which includes financial support, is generous with his feelings, aspirations, is a one woman man. Do I live in a dream world? Are there any gentleman that aren't scared to commit? Any man that can accept that we are not all fortune hunters? I will never give up looking for love and that knight in shining armour, even if there are some dents it it.
Why if you are an independant woman as you claim, would you look to a man for financial support? Sadly this DOES make you sound like a "fortune hunter" Also it sounds like your looking for some kind of fairytale with the "knight in shining" blah blah blah...Be your own knight, dont wait for a man to rescue you, rescue yourself
Just a few points I wanted to bring up re finances...just food for thought.... When in your 30,s or 40,s there are still a lot of years ahead to become financially secure before retirement. In your 60,s it becomes increasingly difficult to bounce back if you loose some of the assets you have accumulated..more so for women who due to raising a family have been out of the work force a long time. Men who have gone through divorce and lost some of their assets may be more afraid and concerned about the financial side of a new relationship than a widower who hasnt lost money through losing his partner.
Would like to discuss our experiences, hopes, aspirations of a relationship.
I live in a remote area and have not found what I'm seeking locally. I did meet and have a relationship with two local guys. One who lied about his marital status, the other who wants just to be friends but intimate at his leisure. Both had expectations which did not match mine. At this stage of my life, I would rather live alone then having the wrong partner. What I would like to ask is this. |If a man wants a relationship which includes intimacy, wouldn't it follow that that brings also responsibility? Like, caring for that women in all spheres, body, mind and spirit? I am unfortunately of a generation that believes that a man is a man and gives freely of his commitment which includes financial support, is generous with his feelings, aspirations, is a one woman man. Do I live in a dream world? Are there any gentleman that aren't scared to commit? Any man that can accept that we are not all fortune hunters? I will never give up looking for love and that knight in shining armour, even if there are some dents it it. At my age I know where I come from and where I want to got to. And I am not prepared to go down the ladder but up and that includes money, spirituality, interests shared, outlook on life.
Have a blessed day, Songbirds
Look forward to hearing all comments
wow girl your a dreamer when and if you do finde a man with all your aspectiations then look for a woman for me with thos ok
Sunnydaze14: I hope you don't mind me saying this but I think mentioning financial support will scare men away. Wouldn you be prepared to give as well as take this kind of support? It is the 21st century after all
you tell her i think she is looking for a fre ride
rivame: Just a few points I wanted to bring up re finances...just food for thought.... When in your 30,s or 40,s there are still a lot of years ahead to become financially secure before retirement. In your 60,s it becomes increasingly difficult to bounce back if you loose some of the assets you have accumulated..more so for women who due to raising a family have been out of the work force a long time. Men who have gone through divorce and lost some of their assets may be more afraid and concerned about the financial side of a new relationship than a widower who hasnt lost money through losing his partner.
Would like to discuss our experiences, hopes, aspirations of a relationship.
I live in a remote area and have not found what I'm seeking locally. I did meet and have a relationship with two local guys. One who lied about his marital status, the other who wants just to be friends but intimate at his leisure. Both had expectations which did not match mine. At this stage of my life, I would rather live alone then having the wrong partner. What I would like to ask is this. |If a man wants a relationship which includes intimacy, wouldn't it follow that that brings also responsibility? Like, caring for that women in all spheres, body, mind and spirit? I am unfortunately of a generation that believes that a man is a man and gives freely of his commitment which includes financial support, is generous with his feelings, aspirations, is a one woman man. Do I live in a dream world? Are there any gentleman that aren't scared to commit? Any man that can accept that we are not all fortune hunters? I will never give up looking for love and that knight in shining armour, even if there are some dents it it. At my age I know where I come from and where I want to got to. And I am not prepared to go down the ladder but up and that includes money, spirituality, interests shared, outlook on life.
Have a blessed day, Songbirds
Look forward to hearing all comments
Well there's your problem, you're not prepared to go down on someone.
Would like to discuss our experiences, hopes, aspirations of a relationship.
I live in a remote area and have not found what I'm seeking locally. I did meet and have a relationship with two local guys. One who lied about his marital status, the other who wants just to be friends but intimate at his leisure. Both had expectations which did not match mine. At this stage of my life, I would rather live alone then having the wrong partner. What I would like to ask is this. |If a man wants a relationship which includes intimacy, wouldn't it follow that that brings also responsibility? Like, caring for that women in all spheres, body, mind and spirit? I am unfortunately of a generation that believes that a man is a man and gives freely of his commitment which includes financial support, is generous with his feelings, aspirations, is a one woman man. Do I live in a dream world? Are there any gentleman that aren't scared to commit? Any man that can accept that we are not all fortune hunters? I will never give up looking for love and that knight in shining armour, even if there are some dents it it. At my age I know where I come from and where I want to got to. And I am not prepared to go down the ladder but up and that includes money, spirituality, interests shared, outlook on life.
Have a blessed day, Songbirds
Look forward to hearing all comments
I am not understanding why you expect a man to financially support you once you are in a relationship. I am also not understanding why he would be responsible for helping you "up the ladder" financially. For me that is not sharing, but using. Responsibility within a relationship, for me, is about caring for one another, respecting one another´s space for growth, supporting one another in achieving one´s goals. Using the other as a trampoline to soar higher or to finance our life doesn´t come into it.
SongbirdsOPMossel Bay, Western Cape South Africa31 posts
rivame: Just a few points I wanted to bring up re finances...just food for thought.... When in your 30,s or 40,s there are still a lot of years ahead to become financially secure before retirement. In your 60,s it becomes increasingly difficult to bounce back if you loose some of the assets you have accumulated..more so for women who due to raising a family have been out of the work force a long time. Men who have gone through divorce and lost some of their assets may be more afraid and concerned about the financial side of a new relationship than a widower who hasnt lost money through losing his partner.
Thank you kindly for your comments. A very wise outlook.
SongbirdsOPMossel Bay, Western Cape South Africa31 posts
venusenvy: I am unfortunately of a generation that believes that a man is a man and gives freely of his commitment which includes financial support, is generous with his feelings, aspirations, is a one woman man. Do I live in a dream world? Are there any gentleman that aren't scared to commit? Any man that can accept that we are not all fortune hunters? I will never give up looking for love and that knight in shining armour, even if there are some dents it it. Why if you are an independant woman as you claim, would you look to a man for financial support? Sadly this DOES make you sound like a "fortune hunter" Also it sounds like your looking for some kind of fairytale with the "knight in shining" blah blah blah...Be your own knight, dont wait for a man to rescue you, rescue yourself
For a holiday or two, lol,which I can't afford, is that so bad?
SongbirdsOPMossel Bay, Western Cape South Africa31 posts
chris27292729: We can live a very simple life in Karoo,who needs money there.
You know, the Karoo is just too damn hot in summer and too cold in winter. Other then that it would be ok as long as CPT is within reach.
As to living simply, I have no problem doing that. I have a lovely home in the Western Cape, with sea and mountain views and money is just one of the things that we sometimes need if you don't want to starve but, the person is definitely what comes first
Would like to discuss our experiences, hopes, aspirations of a relationship.
I live in a remote area and have not found what I'm seeking locally. I did meet and have a relationship with two local guys. One who lied about his marital status, the other who wants just to be friends but intimate at his leisure. Both had expectations which did not match mine. At this stage of my life, I would rather live alone then having the wrong partner. What I would like to ask is this. |If a man wants a relationship which includes intimacy, wouldn't it follow that that brings also responsibility? Like, caring for that women in all spheres, body, mind and spirit? I am unfortunately of a generation that believes that a man is a man and gives freely of his commitment which includes financial support, is generous with his feelings, aspirations, is a one woman man. Do I live in a dream world? Are there any gentleman that aren't scared to commit? Any man that can accept that we are not all fortune hunters? I will never give up looking for love and that knight in shining armour, even if there are some dents it it. At my age I know where I come from and where I want to got to. And I am not prepared to go down the ladder but up and that includes money, spirituality, interests shared, outlook on life.
Have a blessed day, Songbirds
Look forward to hearing all comments
yes, as we say in French : On est mieux seul qu'etre mal accompagnee
Well,having lived in your country,in the past, for many years we can live in perpetual summer, 6 months each,Europe and Africa.
Songbirds: You know, the Karoo is just too damn hot in summer and too cold in winter. Other then that it would be ok as long as CPT is within reach.
As to living simply, I have no problem doing that. I have a lovely home in the Western Cape, with sea and mountain views and money is just one of the things that we sometimes need if you don't want to starve but, the person is definitely what comes first
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Would like to discuss our experiences, hopes, aspirations of a relationship.
I live in a remote area and have not found what I'm seeking locally.
I did meet and have a relationship with two local guys. One who lied about his marital status, the other who wants just to be friends but intimate at his leisure. Both had expectations which did not match mine.
At this stage of my life, I would rather live alone then having the wrong partner.
What I would like to ask is this. |If a man wants a relationship which includes intimacy, wouldn't it follow that that brings also responsibility? Like, caring for that women in all spheres, body, mind and spirit? I am unfortunately of a generation that believes that a man is a man and gives freely of his commitment which includes financial support, is generous with his feelings, aspirations, is a one woman man. Do I live in a dream world? Are there any gentleman that aren't scared to commit? Any man that can accept that we are not all fortune hunters?
I will never give up looking for love and that knight in shining armour, even if there are some dents it it. At my age I know where I come from and where I want to got to. And I am not prepared to go down the ladder but up and that includes money, spirituality, interests shared, outlook on life.
Have a blessed day,
Songbirds
Look forward to hearing all comments