A CS Member Is Hurting (33)
Susanne1: Well, there's the trouble - I can relate.
I simply stated my opinion from my very personal point of view, based on my own experience. I'm sorry, if it offended you, but that's how I think.
I simply stated my opinion from my very personal point of view, based on my own experience. I'm sorry, if it offended you, but that's how I think.
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Susanne1: Well, there's the trouble - I can relate.
I simply stated my opinion from my very personal point of view, based on my own experience. I'm sorry, if it offended you, but that's how I think.
I simply stated my opinion from my very personal point of view, based on my own experience. I'm sorry, if it offended you, but that's how I think.
But you see Susanne, you didn't have a good experience. I don't know if it was whether showing comfort to someone...or...receiving comfort. It doesn't mean that everyone puts a wall up like you have. I've never seen it on here when someone didn't accept a kind word.
We certainly are allowed to post our opinion BUT I think when the opinion could be hurtful, I think it's better to keep it under your hat because nothing was gained by you saying that the kindness people were showing to Cruiser was useless.
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In response to: If you don't want to read the whole thread, please read the last comment I posted. Then you'll know why I did the second thread.
Thank you...
Thank you...
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montemonte: But you see Susanne, you didn't have a good experience. I don't know if it was whether showing comfort to someone...or...receiving comfort. It doesn't mean that everyone puts a wall up like you have. I've never seen it on here when someone didn't accept a kind word.
We certainly are allowed to post our opinion BUT I think when the opinion could be hurtful, I think it's better to keep it under your hat because nothing was gained by you saying that the kindness people were showing to Cruiser was useless.
We certainly are allowed to post our opinion BUT I think when the opinion could be hurtful, I think it's better to keep it under your hat because nothing was gained by you saying that the kindness people were showing to Cruiser was useless.
If you read my initial post again, you'll notice that my concern was about Cruiser alone.
In my experience the worst thing that can happen to someone, who has been so unspeakably deeply hurt, is for well-wishing people to say all these lovely sympathetic words, that seem so hollow to the person they are directed at. Yet at the same time it is expected that one puts on a smile and says "thank you" very nicely, while inwardly one wants to scream: shut up, leave me alone, I can't stand this any more! Why? Because these lovely phrases of "comfort" are actually not at all comforting to the person who is hurting - they are designed to ease the discomfort of the people, who are faced with having to deal with such a person.
I get the good intentions, but the road to hell is paved with good intentions - isn't that how the English proverb goes? I suppose everyone grieves differently - I spoke from my personal experience and out of concern for Cruiser, I will not get into a debate about this issue.
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Susanne1: If you read my initial post again, you'll notice that my concern was about Cruiser alone.
In my experience the worst thing that can happen to someone, who has been so unspeakably deeply hurt, is for well-wishing people to say all these lovely sympathetic words, that seem so hollow to the person they are directed at. Yet at the same time it is expected that one puts on a smile and says "thank you" very nicely, while inwardly one wants to scream: shut up, leave me alone, I can't stand this any more! Why? Because these lovely phrases of "comfort" are actually not at all comforting to the person who is hurting - they are designed to ease the discomfort of the people, who are faced with having to deal with such a person.
I get the good intentions, but the road to hell is paved with good intentions - isn't that how the English proverb goes? I suppose everyone grieves differently - I spoke from my personal experience and out of concern for Cruiser, I will not get into a debate about this issue.
In my experience the worst thing that can happen to someone, who has been so unspeakably deeply hurt, is for well-wishing people to say all these lovely sympathetic words, that seem so hollow to the person they are directed at. Yet at the same time it is expected that one puts on a smile and says "thank you" very nicely, while inwardly one wants to scream: shut up, leave me alone, I can't stand this any more! Why? Because these lovely phrases of "comfort" are actually not at all comforting to the person who is hurting - they are designed to ease the discomfort of the people, who are faced with having to deal with such a person.
I get the good intentions, but the road to hell is paved with good intentions - isn't that how the English proverb goes? I suppose everyone grieves differently - I spoke from my personal experience and out of concern for Cruiser, I will not get into a debate about this issue.
When Cruiser wakes up he is going to read this thread.
And maybe he will say thank you to all the folks who sent him a flower and/or a kind word.
Or, maybe he will say, he wishes people would stop posting useless comforting words.
You might be right Susanne. We'll just have to wait and see..
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Susanne1: No offence, but I always worry that these threads, that draw attention to someone else's hurt, may cause more damage to the person whose personal life is dragged out in the open, than they do good.
I am very sorry about what happened, but to be honest, I am sure my words will make no difference to the person in question. Neither will anyone else's.
I am very sorry about what happened, but to be honest, I am sure my words will make no difference to the person in question. Neither will anyone else's.
Have to say I agree with you. And it has nothing to do with how much one cares for another because I certainly care, but words can’t repair damaged. Only true healing and peace can come from acceptance of the past and that is something one deals with within and alone.
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I read the other thread through Monts, To the father: justifiable homicide...To Cruiser much love and healing 
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venusenvy: I read the other thread through Monts, To the father: justifiable homicide...To Cruiser much love and healing
Good Morning All you lovely people,
Many thanks for your wishes and prayers, My post was NOT for sympathy for me, it was a statement saying that I knew what that poor father was feeling. I don`t hurt inside as much, as I used to, just every now and then something crops up that brings that whole shebang of the yr 2000 back to the surface.
So thanks one and all, and please no fights and arguements over who thinks what and who doesn`t agree, lets all try and be as happy as we can......
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cruiser68: Good Morning All you lovely people,
Many thanks for your wishes and prayers, My post was NOT for sympathy for me, it was a statement saying that I knew what that poor father was feeling. I don`t hurt inside as much, as I used to, just every now and then something crops up that brings that whole shebang of the yr 2000 back to the surface.
So thanks one and all, and please no fights and arguements over who thinks what and who doesn`t agree, lets all try and be as happy as we can......
Many thanks for your wishes and prayers, My post was NOT for sympathy for me, it was a statement saying that I knew what that poor father was feeling. I don`t hurt inside as much, as I used to, just every now and then something crops up that brings that whole shebang of the yr 2000 back to the surface.
So thanks one and all, and please no fights and arguements over who thinks what and who doesn`t agree, lets all try and be as happy as we can......
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cruiser68: Good Morning All you lovely people,
Many thanks for your wishes and prayers, My post was NOT for sympathy for me, it was a statement saying that I knew what that poor father was feeling. I don`t hurt inside as much, as I used to, just every now and then something crops up that brings that whole shebang of the yr 2000 back to the surface.
So thanks one and all, and please no fights and arguements over who thinks what and who doesn`t agree, lets all try and be as happy as we can......
Many thanks for your wishes and prayers, My post was NOT for sympathy for me, it was a statement saying that I knew what that poor father was feeling. I don`t hurt inside as much, as I used to, just every now and then something crops up that brings that whole shebang of the yr 2000 back to the surface.
So thanks one and all, and please no fights and arguements over who thinks what and who doesn`t agree, lets all try and be as happy as we can......
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Susanne1: No offence, but I always worry that these threads, that draw attention to someone else's hurt, may cause more damage to the person whose personal life is dragged out in the open, than they do good.
I am very sorry about what happened, but to be honest, I am sure my words will make no difference to the person in question. Neither will anyone else's.
I am very sorry about what happened, but to be honest, I am sure my words will make no difference to the person in question. Neither will anyone else's.
I tend to agree
tho of course send best wishes
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cruiser68: Good Morning All you lovely people,
Many thanks for your wishes and prayers, My post was NOT for sympathy for me, it was a statement saying that I knew what that poor father was feeling. I don`t hurt inside as much, as I used to, just every now and then something crops up that brings that whole shebang of the yr 2000 back to the surface.
So thanks one and all, and please no fights and arguements over who thinks what and who doesn`t agree, lets all try and be as happy as we can......
Many thanks for your wishes and prayers, My post was NOT for sympathy for me, it was a statement saying that I knew what that poor father was feeling. I don`t hurt inside as much, as I used to, just every now and then something crops up that brings that whole shebang of the yr 2000 back to the surface.
So thanks one and all, and please no fights and arguements over who thinks what and who doesn`t agree, lets all try and be as happy as we can......
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Why? Because I expressed my opinion? I was honest, nothing else.