Little Miss Rain Cloud (13)

Jul 6, 2012 10:04 PM CST Little Miss Rain Cloud
Newlife08
Newlife08Newlife08On the coast, Queensland Australia165 Threads 2,715 Posts
Does anybody else have a 'friend' like this?

They always seem to be on a downer and just enjoy telling you bad news?

Even if you have not so good news they always have to top it with even worse news blues

They are not really listening to what you have to say and can't wait to bring down the mood? blues

You can't wait to get off the phone and make excuses, "I have to go", "Gotta cook dinner", "on my way out" and you have a whole list of missed nos from them on your mobile?? laugh

I have a friend like this and it took me a long time to realise she was really using me as a sounding board and always made me feel exhausted or in a bad mood when we hung up. very mad

I have finally realised I do not need someone with so much negativity to pass it on to me - so yes, I have my ansaphone on, or my mobile doesn't get answered when I see that number. angel

Just read an article about this and it rang bells with me. At least I have recognised that it is HER problem not mine and I do something about it. cheering
Jul 6, 2012 11:13 PM CST Little Miss Rain Cloud
curly28
curly28curly28Perth, Western Australia Australia53 Threads 5,450 Posts
Newlife08: Does anybody else have a 'friend' like this?

They always seem to be on a downer and just enjoy telling you bad news?

Even if you have not so good news they always have to top it with even worse news

They are not really listening to what you have to say and can't wait to bring down the mood?

You can't wait to get off the phone and make excuses, "I have to go", "Gotta cook dinner", "on my way out" and you have a whole list of missed nos from them on your mobile??

I have a friend like this and it took me a long time to realise she was really using me as a sounding board and always made me feel exhausted or in a bad mood when we hung up.

I have finally realised I do not need someone with so much negativity to pass it on to me - so yes, I have my ansaphone on, or my mobile doesn't get answered when I see that number.

Just read an article about this and it rang bells with me. At least I have recognised that it is HER problem not mine and I do something about it.



Hmmmm hmmm Let me see confused .................... Yep she sure is a pain in the !!!! can be quiet depressing listening to someone wingeing Oh! woe is me sigh 24/7 time to give her the flick move on to Peeps who wanna have a laugh with ya and a cry is fine now and then I mean no one is up beat all the time and gee that's is what friends are for to lend an ear and back at ya! just not all the time.

Try not to be around her all the time less is best maybe dunno Good luck thumbs up comfort
Jul 7, 2012 5:55 AM CST Little Miss Rain Cloud
Nature123
Nature123Nature123Australia, Queensland Australia68 Threads 2 Polls 739 Posts
I try and stay away from people that are negative they just bring you down.

I try to keep happy spirited people around me.

I
Jul 8, 2012 6:39 AM CST Little Miss Rain Cloud
mickyj63
mickyj63mickyj63adelaide, South Australia Australia101 Threads 2,362 Posts
Nature123: I try and stay away from people that are negative they just bring you down.

I try to keep happy spirited people around me.

I


Sorry to say I often find myself working with these types and the ones I have worked with .Are very often off with the fiaries !!!
Yes the ones I've worked with were always smoking that funny weed in their spare time .

Yep being happy is great but you can not be happy 100% of the time .
Being a realist doesnt mean your negative or grumpy etc .
Jul 8, 2012 8:00 PM CST Little Miss Rain Cloud
rivame
rivamerivamemelbourne, Victoria Australia54 Threads 3 Polls 4,601 Posts
I have a similar friend Newlife...

I say HAVE because I asked her once to tell me only good news on a particular day and through chit chatting found she was bipolar ....that put a whole new slant on her negetivity and I try to be there in all her ups and downs....
Jul 9, 2012 1:51 AM CST Little Miss Rain Cloud
rivame: I have a similar friend Newlife...

I say HAVE because I asked her once to tell me only good news on a particular day and through chit chatting found she was bipolar ....that put a whole new slant on her negetivity and I try to be there in all her ups and downs....

Good on you rivame, its good to read that you listen to her
It is not necessary to take on board other peoples problems while however it is to my mind, one of the highest services anyone can offer others, listening, if we impute whats been said is negative, then to our mind it is but mostly because we are judging others karmas, which is a form of stupidity/madness...
Whether we understand or not, everyone (all sentient beings) on this planet are suffering, we wouldn't be here if we didn't have the suffering karmas...
Jul 9, 2012 4:36 AM CST Little Miss Rain Cloud
mickyj63
mickyj63mickyj63adelaide, South Australia Australia101 Threads 2,362 Posts
rivame: I have a similar friend Newlife...

I say HAVE because I asked her once to tell me only good news on a particular day and through chit chatting found she was bipolar ....that put a whole new slant on her negetivity and I try to be there in all her ups and downs....


Totally different but I once dated a woamn who pointed out 2 of my many flaws rolling on the floor laughing .One was that she thought I had ADHD funny never ever been told that before in my life .

After taking the michael(true story) there good on you for doing that rivame :)
Jul 9, 2012 10:44 AM CST Little Miss Rain Cloud
rivame
rivamerivamemelbourne, Victoria Australia54 Threads 3 Polls 4,601 Posts
robplum: Good on you rivame, its good to read that you listen to her
It is not necessary to take on board other peoples problems while however it is to my mind, one of the highest services anyone can offer others, listening, if we impute whats been said is negative, then to our mind it is but mostly because we are judging others karmas, which is a form of stupidity/madness...
Whether we understand or not, everyone (all sentient beings) on this planet are suffering, we wouldn't be here if we didn't have the suffering karmas...


Rob from what Ive read of your posts you believe as I do...we are here learning the lessons we chose to learn ?
Looking back over my life I have advanced from a yes person to someone who can say NO at times. That journey has been hard and long..made even harder by the fact I really hate hurting people. Of all the people Ive met those suffering from bipolar have taught me the most valuable of lessons...tolerance. Listening costs nothing....I have even learnt to not take too much on board....so if listening doesnt weaken you where is the point where you cut someone of...
Just asking as I value your thoughtsconversing
Jul 9, 2012 6:25 PM CST Little Miss Rain Cloud
In response to: Does anybody else have a 'friend' like this?

They always seem to be on a downer and just enjoy telling you bad news?

Even if you have not so good news they always have to top it with even worse news

They are not really listening to what you have to say and can't wait to bring down the mood?

You can't wait to get off the phone and make excuses, "I have to go", "Gotta cook dinner", "on my way out" and you have a whole list of missed nos from them on your mobile??

I have a friend like this and it took me a long time to realise she was really using me as a sounding board and always made me feel exhausted or in a bad mood when we hung up.

I have finally realised I do not need someone with so much negativity to pass it on to me - so yes, I have my ansaphone on, or my mobile doesn't get answered when I see that number.

Just read an article about this and it rang bells with me. At least I have recognised that it is HER problem not mine and I do something about it.


I amongst one the hardest things to learn in life is to say NO, so i agree with your comments.
Like and Dislike are afflictions that I think at some stage or another we all suffer from. Imputing i like or I dislike is often in the long term un-constructive.
Because our desires or attachments eventually all turn into custard, "he loves me he hates etc"!...like the bloody car that we so much desired on purchase, or our own bodies eventually get old and turn into cabbage, food for the worms, birds, wild animals, idiot doctors whatever you like to think.
Our thoughts are conditioned by our own quite narrow-minded life experiences that we, I think, often condition our thoughts with by reflecting on past experience.
While mean while, even our closest brothers and sister, have and do experience a completely different life experience to our own, if you look you will see there experience isn't same as your own.
The reason is that we all came into this world with our own unique karmic seeds, seeds of our tomorrows sown over countless previous past rebirths, and during this life time to, seeds of karma sown in previous time that are clearly in most cases different from the seeds others came with and experience.

By listening to others, who often do touch on subjects we ourselves attempt to avoid or escape from looking at without harsh judgement we ourselves are better able to obtain insight into own sufferings. What you avoid you collect i think has a lot of substance
Jul 9, 2012 6:26 PM CST Little Miss Rain Cloud
rivame: Rob from what Ive read of your posts you believe as I do...we are here learning the lessons we chose to learn ?
Looking back over my life I have advanced from a yes person to someone who can say NO at times. That journey has been hard and long..made even harder by the fact I really hate hurting people. Of all the people Ive met those suffering from bipolar have taught me the most valuable of lessons...tolerance. Listening costs nothing....I have even learnt to not take too much on board....so if listening doesnt weaken you where is the point where you cut someone of...
Just asking as I value your thoughts

ah, the quote attached was supposed to be rivame last post
Jul 9, 2012 6:41 PM CST Little Miss Rain Cloud
montemonte
montemontemontemonteunknown, New Jersey USA114 Threads 4 Polls 5,631 Posts
Newlife08: Does anybody else have a 'friend' like this?

They always seem to be on a downer and just enjoy telling you bad news?

Even if you have not so good news they always have to top it with even worse news

They are not really listening to what you have to say and can't wait to bring down the mood?

You can't wait to get off the phone and make excuses, "I have to go", "Gotta cook dinner", "on my way out" and you have a whole list of missed nos from them on your mobile??

I have a friend like this and it took me a long time to realise she was really using me as a sounding board and always made me feel exhausted or in a bad mood when we hung up.

I have finally realised I do not need someone with so much negativity to pass it on to me - so yes, I have my ansaphone on, or my mobile doesn't get answered when I see that number.

Just read an article about this and it rang bells with me. At least I have recognised that it is HER problem not mine and I do something about it.


When I was telling her about a bad situation I was in she waited for me to finish and then without giving an opinion on what I said......she said...."you think that's bad. When I" blah blah blah blah blah blah pretty much saying nobody has it worse then her. She either has the best of everything or the worst problems...doh

I've learned to not respond to what she says hopefully to give her a message that what she said isn't of interest to me. When someone gets on your nerves the best way to hit back is to not hit at all. Ignorance can be bliss..bouquet
Jul 10, 2012 3:42 AM CST Little Miss Rain Cloud
Newlife08
Newlife08Newlife08On the coast, Queensland Australia165 Threads 2,715 Posts
Thanks for all your advice, hope I didn't sound like an uncaring cow!!

I am just the opposite, in my job I listen all day to people's illnesses, woes, family problems and try and give them advice from a different perspective, or just listen and drink tea and biccies with them, so I do know how important it is to listen.

I think that is part of the problem, I see people with REAL problems and I can't handle someone who whinges just to get attention??

I feel a real sense of relief that I have finally had it confirmed from other people that this person is not good for me so I now deal with her in small doses and refuse to listen to hours on end of other people's problems that she chooses to tell me about.

HAVE A HAPPY TUESDAY EVERYONE!

party dance buddies joy gotta go cartwheel shimmy

TIME FOR SOME FUN EVERYONE!!
Jul 12, 2012 4:25 AM CST Little Miss Rain Cloud
defman
defmandefmanWillagee, Western Australia Australia64 Posts
thumbs up Yup, let's have FUN! banana peace dancing cheers
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