The female demerit system ( Archived) (16)

Nov 14, 2006 3:24 PM CST The female demerit system
twingles
twinglestwinglesEdmonton, Alberta Canada66 Threads 906 Posts
In the world of romance, one single rule applies:

Make the woman happy. Do something she likes and you get points. Do
something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don't get any
points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that's the way the game is played. Here is a guide to the point system:

SIMPLE DUTIES
You make the bed (+1)

You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillow (-1)

You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-1)

You go out to buy her what she wants (+5)

In the rain (+8)

But return with Beer (-5)

You check out a suspicious noise at night (+1)

You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing (0)


You check out a suspicious noise and it is something (+5)

You pummel it with iron rod (+10)

It's her pet (-20)

SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS
You stay by her side the entire party (0)

You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college buddy (-2)

Named Tina (-10)

Tina is a dancer (-20)

Tina has silicon implants (-80)

HER BIRTHDAY
You take her out to dinner (+2)

You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar (+3)

Okay, it's a sports bar (-2)

And it's all-you-can-eat night (-3)

It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night & your face is painted the colors of your favorite team (-10)

A NIGHT OUT
You take her to a movie (+1)

You take her to a movie she likes (+3)

You take her to a movie you hate (+6)

You take her to a movie you like (-2)

It's called 'Death Cop' (-3)

You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans (-15)

YOUR PHYSIQUE
You develop a noticeable potbelly (-15)

You develop a noticeable potbelly & exercise to get rid of it (+10)

You develop a noticeable potbelly & resort to baggy jeans & baggy
Hawaiian shirts (-30)

You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too." (-8000)

THE BIG QUESTION
She asks, "Do I look fat?" (-5) [Yes, you lose points no matter what]

You hesitate in responding (-10)

You reply, "Where?" (-35)

Any other response (-20)

COMMUNICATION
When she wants to talk about a problem, you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression (0)

You listen, for over 30 minutes (+50)

You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV (+500)

She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep (-4000)
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Nov 14, 2006 3:25 PM CST The female demerit system
ulaoulao
ulaoulaoulaoulao242 Posts
Sticky the post LOL.
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Nov 14, 2006 3:25 PM CST The female demerit system
ramone
ramoneramoneEDINBURGH, UK44 Threads 4,832 Posts
hi twingles cheers
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Nov 14, 2006 3:26 PM CST The female demerit system
twingles
twinglestwinglesEdmonton, Alberta Canada66 Threads 906 Posts
Hello ramone.. how you doing?
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Nov 14, 2006 3:28 PM CST The female demerit system
ramone
ramoneramoneEDINBURGH, UK44 Threads 4,832 Posts
lovely thanks... like your work..
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Nov 14, 2006 3:31 PM CST The female demerit system
Serenity1971
Serenity1971Serenity1971Serenity's Island, New York USA96 Threads 2 Polls 4,931 Posts
rolling on the floor laughing Great post Twingles rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing
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Nov 14, 2006 3:33 PM CST The female demerit system
twingles
twinglestwinglesEdmonton, Alberta Canada66 Threads 906 Posts
Thanks Serenity.. Glad you got a giggle out of it. The things I get in my email LOL

Hows everything going?
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Nov 14, 2006 3:37 PM CST The female demerit system
Serenity1971
Serenity1971Serenity1971Serenity's Island, New York USA96 Threads 2 Polls 4,931 Posts
I get some good ones too laugh

Good...Flying solo again and making the best of my time here in Arizona catching up with friends. I fly back to New York on December 1st blues I really don't want to leave the warm weather and go back to the bitter cold sigh

How are you?
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Nov 14, 2006 3:41 PM CST The female demerit system
twingles
twinglestwinglesEdmonton, Alberta Canada66 Threads 906 Posts
Doing just fine... starting to get more snow and it is making the driving around the city nasty.

Other than that just getting ready for the Edmonton Get Together and also getting prepared to take my class 1 course in January.
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Nov 14, 2006 3:43 PM CST The female demerit system
Serenity1971
Serenity1971Serenity1971Serenity's Island, New York USA96 Threads 2 Polls 4,931 Posts
Sounds like things are going good, that's great to hear.

I'm not looking forward to the snow when I get home mumbling laugh
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Nov 14, 2006 11:34 PM CST The female demerit system
twingles
twinglestwinglesEdmonton, Alberta Canada66 Threads 906 Posts
i wouldn't blame you. The snow is ok if playing in it but to drive... well that just sucks LOL
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Nov 14, 2006 11:43 PM CST The female demerit system
campinmama
campinmamacampinmamaXenia, Ohio USA4 Threads 63 Posts
Great post, do you mind if I copy to my email?
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Nov 14, 2006 11:45 PM CST The female demerit system
twingles
twinglestwinglesEdmonton, Alberta Canada66 Threads 906 Posts
No.. by all means... copy away. I got it in a email from a friend. Glad you liked it.
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Nov 14, 2006 11:45 PM CST The female demerit system
twingles
twinglestwinglesEdmonton, Alberta Canada66 Threads 906 Posts
the -8000 points got me... my stomach hurt from laughing so hard rolling on the floor laughing
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Nov 14, 2006 11:50 PM CST The female demerit system
campinmama
campinmamacampinmamaXenia, Ohio USA4 Threads 63 Posts
I've been there with the last one. so I can relate. but they are all funny.
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Nov 15, 2006 12:29 AM CST The female demerit system
Maggalicious
MaggaliciousMaggaliciousBerlin, Wisconsin USA26 Threads 1,577 Posts
Too funny! Love it!
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