Life's Irrefutable Laws ( Archived) (3)

Life's Irrefutable Laws

• The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity

• If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

• Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

• Deja moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.

• Psychiatrists say that 1 of 4 people is mentally ill. Check three friends. If they're OK........you're it.

• Nothing in the known universe travels faster than a bad check.

• A truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a unicorn.

• It has recently been discovered that research causes cancer in rats.

• Always remember to pillage BEFORE you burn.

• If you are given an open-book exam, you will forget your book.

• Corollary: If you are given a take-home test, you will forget where you live.

• The trouble with doing something right the first time is that nobody appreciates how difficult it was.

• It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

• Troubles Law: You can't fall off the floor.

• The average woman would rather have beauty than brains because the average man can see better than he can think.

• Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.

• Vital papers will demonstrate their vitality by moving from where you left them to where you can't find them.

• Law of Probability Dispersal: Whatever it is that hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.