Objects are often given a gender, here are some suggestions.
FREEZER BAGS: They are male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them.
PHOTOCOPIERS: These are female, because once turned off; it takes a while to warm them up again. They are an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed, but can also wreak havoc if you push the wrong Buttons.
TYRES: Tyres are male, because they go bald easily and are often over inflated
HOT AIR BALLOONS: Also a male object, because to get them to go anywhere, you have to light a fire under their butt.
SPONGES: These are female, because they are soft, squeezable and retain water.
WEB PAGES: Female, because they're constantly being looked at and frequently getting hit on.
TRAINS: Definitely male, because they always use the same old lines for picking up people.
EGG TIMERS: Egg timers are female because, over time, all the weight shifts to the bottom.
HAMMERS: Male, because in the last 5000 years, they've hardly changed at all, and are occasionally handy to have around.
THE REMOTE CONTROL: Female. Ha! You probably thought it would be male, but consider this: It easily gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know which buttons to push, he just keeps trying.
1- I’d kill for a Nobel Peace Prize. 2- Borrow money from pessimists – they don’t expect it back. 3- Half the people you know are below average. 4- 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name 5- 42.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot. 6- A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good. 7- A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. 8- If you want the rainbow, you got to put up with the rain. 9- All those who believe in psycho kinesis, raise my hand. 10- The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. 11- I almost had a psychic girlfriend, but she left me before we met. 12- OK, so what’s the speed of dark? 13- How do you tell when you’re out of invisible ink? 14- If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something. 15- Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm. 16- When everything is coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane. 17- Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy . 18- Hard work pays off in the future, laziness pays off now. 19- I intend to live forever; so far, so good 20- If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends? 21- Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines. 22- What happens if you get scared half to death twice? 23- My mechanic told me, “I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.” 24- Why do psychics have to ask you for your name? 25- If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried. 26- A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking. 27- Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it. 28- The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread. 29- To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research. 30- The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard. 31- The sooner you fall behind, the more time you’ll have to catch up. 32- The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it. 33- Everyone has a photographic memory; some just don’t have film. 34 – If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights work
1- I’d kill for a Nobel Peace Prize. 2- Borrow money from pessimists – they don’t expect it back. 3- Half the people you know are below average. 4- 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name 5- 42.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot. 6- A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good. 7- A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. 8- If you want the rainbow, you got to put up with the rain. 9- All those who believe in psycho kinesis, raise my hand. 10- The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. 11- I almost had a psychic girlfriend, but she left me before we met. 12- OK, so what’s the speed of dark? 13- How do you tell when you’re out of invisible ink? 14- If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something. 15- Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm. 16- When everything is coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane. 17- Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy . 18- Hard work pays off in the future, laziness pays off now. 19- I intend to live forever; so far, so good 20- If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends? 21- Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines. 22- What happens if you get scared half to death twice? 23- My mechanic told me, “I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.” 24- Why do psychics have to ask you for your name? 25- If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried. 26- A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking. 27- Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it. 28- The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread. 29- To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research. 30- The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard. 31- The sooner you fall behind, the more time you’ll have to catch up. 32- The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it. 33- Everyone has a photographic memory; some just don’t have film. 34 – If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights work
sassy49senior: Hi riz Been way too long since I've seen you.
Enjoyed reading your post.
Hey Sassy Long time no see, I don't post so often these days, but just returned to China after a vacation travelling and was bored waiting for the new term to start, plus my internal time clock is all over the place and I can't sleep, best wishes and hope all is good in Sassyland
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FREEZER BAGS: They are male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them.
PHOTOCOPIERS: These are female, because once turned off; it takes a while to warm them up again. They are an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed, but can also wreak havoc if you push the wrong Buttons.
TYRES: Tyres are male, because they go bald easily and are often over inflated
HOT AIR BALLOONS: Also a male object, because to get them to go anywhere, you have to light a fire under their butt.
SPONGES: These are female, because they are soft, squeezable and retain water.
WEB PAGES: Female, because they're constantly being looked at and frequently getting hit on.
TRAINS: Definitely male, because they always use the same old lines for picking up people.
EGG TIMERS: Egg timers are female because, over time, all the weight shifts to the bottom.
HAMMERS: Male, because in the last 5000 years, they've hardly changed at all, and are occasionally handy to have around.
THE REMOTE CONTROL: Female. Ha! You probably thought it would be male, but consider this: It easily gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know which buttons to push, he just keeps trying.