Foreign Language (66)
Not an expert on relations,but communication is everyting,in all forms of relations.....
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Scubadiva: Okay, so let's say you meet someone from another country and you don't speak their language and their command of yours is mediocre. What do you do?
Will you continue and hope they learn more of your language?
Will you learn theirs?
Will you continue with the relationship even though there are limits to how much and what you can talk about?I ask because my girlfriend was married to a man from another country. They lived in her country. In 10 years, he didn't learn anything beyond what he knew when they met and that wasn't much. (I know the guy and he speaks and understands very little). Ergo, he never got a decent job and their communication was tedious. In the end, they divorced because of several issues.
So how important is it to you to be able to communicate with another person and does it matter to you if there are some topics that you simply cannot talk about? ... and again, how willing are you to learn their language to make things work?
Will you continue and hope they learn more of your language?
Will you learn theirs?
Will you continue with the relationship even though there are limits to how much and what you can talk about?I ask because my girlfriend was married to a man from another country. They lived in her country. In 10 years, he didn't learn anything beyond what he knew when they met and that wasn't much. (I know the guy and he speaks and understands very little). Ergo, he never got a decent job and their communication was tedious. In the end, they divorced because of several issues.
So how important is it to you to be able to communicate with another person and does it matter to you if there are some topics that you simply cannot talk about? ... and again, how willing are you to learn their language to make things work?
Communication is more than exchanging words
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Saviour66: Not an expert on relations,but communication is everyting,in all forms of relations.....
Many people who speak one or more foreign languages have varying degrees of command of the non-native language. So where do you draw the line when it comes to a potential mate? Household use, political debate, philosophical discussion, bureaucratic/legal language?
If I read you correct, your potential mate must speak your language and/or English at a native level?
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Im seconding Boban and Saviour 66.
Boban1: Communication is more than exchanging words
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money talks
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Boban1: Communication is more than exchanging words
Care to elaborate? I mean esp. with regard to every day life and issues that come up.
When I was in Pazar, I had trouble with the bills because they were written in Cyrillic and I had to ask for help. Most of the time, I knew what they were about, but still.
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chris27292729: Im seconding Boban and Saviour 66.
Okay oh wise one.. be vague 
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pedro27: money talks
Whose? yours or hers?
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All of the above,though you don't have to be an expert in a language,simply you have to make yourself understood,within a circle of friends,or at home.-
Scubadiva: So where do you draw the line when it comes to a potential mate? Household use, political debate, philosophical discussion, bureaucratic/legal language?
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chris27292729: All of the above,though you don't have to be an expert in a language,simply you have to make yourself understood,within a circle of friends,or at home.-
Let me tell you what I'm getting at:
I once had an issue with a friend in another country and I explained a complicated tax issue to him. Two days later, he accused me of all kinds of crap. Long story short, he didn't understand anything I said. Part of it was the language, part of it was a lack of the subject matter.
That tax issue was very important because it affected certain life changes.
So lets say you have a girlfriend from another country and she wants to live with you and open a hair salon in your town. You try to explain to her why she cannot do it and she just doesn't get it. You do not know whether it is a language problem or whether she is just thick. What do you do?
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chris27292729: All of the above,though you don't have to be an expert in a language,simply you have to make yourself understood,within a circle of friends,or at home.-
Let me tell you what I'm getting at:
I once had an issue with a friend in another country and I explained a complicated tax issue to him. Two days later, he accused me of all kinds of crap. Long story short, he didn't understand anything I said. Part of it was the language, part of it was a lack of the subject matter.
That tax issue was very important because it affected certain life decisions that had to be made.
So lets say you have a girlfriend from another country and she wants to live with you and open a hair salon in your town. You try to explain to her why she cannot do it and she just doesn't get it. You do not know whether it is a language problem or whether she is just thick. What do you do?
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Scubadiva: Whose? yours or hers?
both
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chris27292729: All of the above,though you don't have to be an expert in a language,simply you have to make yourself understood,within a circle of friends,or at home.-
Let me tell you what I'm getting at:
I once had an issue with a friend in another country and I explained a complicated tax issue to him. Two days later, he accused me of all kinds of crap. Long story short, he didn't understand anything I said. Part of it was the language, part of it was a lack of the subject matter.
That tax issue was very important because it affected certain life decisions that had to be made.
So lets say you have a girlfriend from another country and she wants to live with you and open a hair salon in your town. You try to explain to her why she cannot do it and she just doesn't get it. You do not know whether it is a language problem or whether she is just thick. What do you do?
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pedro27: both
how?------ This thread is Archived ------
Scubadiva: how?
cause money makes the world go around------ This thread is Archived ------
After you explained the problem,and the other person doesn't grasp it,or you under the assumption,that doesn't want to grasp it,then you decide,am i wasting my time in a hopeless case.-
Scubadiva: Let me tell you what I'm getting at:
I once had an issue with a friend in another country and I explained a complicated tax issue to him. Two days later, he accused me of all kinds of crap. Long story short, he didn't understand anything I said. Part of it was the language, part of it was a lack of the subject matter.
That tax issue was very important because it affected certain life changes.
So lets say you have a girlfriend from another country and she wants to live with you and open a hair salon in your town. You try to explain to her why she cannot do it and she just doesn't get it. You do not know whether it is a language problem or whether she is just thick. What do you do?
I once had an issue with a friend in another country and I explained a complicated tax issue to him. Two days later, he accused me of all kinds of crap. Long story short, he didn't understand anything I said. Part of it was the language, part of it was a lack of the subject matter.
That tax issue was very important because it affected certain life changes.
So lets say you have a girlfriend from another country and she wants to live with you and open a hair salon in your town. You try to explain to her why she cannot do it and she just doesn't get it. You do not know whether it is a language problem or whether she is just thick. What do you do?
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Okay, so let's say you meet someone from another country and you don't speak their language and their command of yours is mediocre. What do you do?
Will you continue and hope they learn more of your language?
Will you learn theirs?
Will you continue with the relationship even though there are limits to how much and what you can talk about?I ask because my girlfriend was married to a man from another country. They lived in her country. In 10 years, he didn't learn anything beyond what he knew when they met and that wasn't much. (I know the guy and he speaks and understands very little). Ergo, he never got a decent job and their communication was tedious. In the end, they divorced because of several issues.
If you move to another country with a different language then it is to your own benefit to try and learn that language. However, that is not always possible, either because the person does not apply themselves, or does not have the capabality.
The country I live in is a perfect example.........many foreigners have made it their home, but do not have the grasp of the language. However, that does not deter them from having a good life, as there are translators to be found, when the need for medical assistance, financial matters or judicial, arises.
BODY LANGUAGE is something that is very important and often says much more than words can ever do, especially in a romantic situation. Also, I would say that most of the conversations I have with loved ones, revolve around their well-being and day to day living, or brief discussions on news items. The lengthy discussions on "important" (tongue in cheek) topics are kept for the forums in our lives.
Will you continue and hope they learn more of your language?
Will you learn theirs?
Will you continue with the relationship even though there are limits to how much and what you can talk about?I ask because my girlfriend was married to a man from another country. They lived in her country. In 10 years, he didn't learn anything beyond what he knew when they met and that wasn't much. (I know the guy and he speaks and understands very little). Ergo, he never got a decent job and their communication was tedious. In the end, they divorced because of several issues.
If you move to another country with a different language then it is to your own benefit to try and learn that language. However, that is not always possible, either because the person does not apply themselves, or does not have the capabality.
The country I live in is a perfect example.........many foreigners have made it their home, but do not have the grasp of the language. However, that does not deter them from having a good life, as there are translators to be found, when the need for medical assistance, financial matters or judicial, arises.
BODY LANGUAGE is something that is very important and often says much more than words can ever do, especially in a romantic situation. Also, I would say that most of the conversations I have with loved ones, revolve around their well-being and day to day living, or brief discussions on news items. The lengthy discussions on "important" (tongue in cheek) topics are kept for the forums in our lives.
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Wow, now this is an interesting subject.
for 4 years I dated a foreign woman and so much of what has been posted here is relevant, she spoke english acceptable but not fantastic and my spanish was very basic, I thought that I would be able to pick up spanish being with her and that she could teach me things along the way. Turned out that she was incredibly impatient and only wanted to talk in English as for her talking slowly in spanish or trying to explain things was just annoying for her, so I really didn't end up learning much at all.
And I totally get how ideas can be over-simplified like with the hair salon example posted above, Procedures can be so different in different countries, price of rent of premises can vary hugely and this can cause lack of understanding of limitations to ideas, plus correct paperwork, contracts and visas to work in other countries, my ex really had no thoughts how local businesses would have reacted if a foreign person person started a business which would have meant taking a market share away from the other already established local businesses, as soon as the other places found out that the person running the business was doing so without the correct documents and visas it would be closed down and most probably the person extradited. But she couldnt get her head around there being any problem at all with starting a business illegally. Needless to say my experience didn't have a happy ending but there were some good life experiences there and some good times, these relationships can work but they certainly are a lot more difficult.
for 4 years I dated a foreign woman and so much of what has been posted here is relevant, she spoke english acceptable but not fantastic and my spanish was very basic, I thought that I would be able to pick up spanish being with her and that she could teach me things along the way. Turned out that she was incredibly impatient and only wanted to talk in English as for her talking slowly in spanish or trying to explain things was just annoying for her, so I really didn't end up learning much at all.
And I totally get how ideas can be over-simplified like with the hair salon example posted above, Procedures can be so different in different countries, price of rent of premises can vary hugely and this can cause lack of understanding of limitations to ideas, plus correct paperwork, contracts and visas to work in other countries, my ex really had no thoughts how local businesses would have reacted if a foreign person person started a business which would have meant taking a market share away from the other already established local businesses, as soon as the other places found out that the person running the business was doing so without the correct documents and visas it would be closed down and most probably the person extradited. But she couldnt get her head around there being any problem at all with starting a business illegally. Needless to say my experience didn't have a happy ending but there were some good life experiences there and some good times, these relationships can work but they certainly are a lot more difficult.
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Scubadiva: Care to elaborate? I mean esp. with regard to every day life and issues that come up.
When I was in Pazar, I had trouble with the bills because they were written in Cyrillic and I had to ask for help. Most of the time, I knew what they were about, but still.
When I was in Pazar, I had trouble with the bills because they were written in Cyrillic and I had to ask for help. Most of the time, I knew what they were about, but still.
Well, in a established relationship ,you learn each others habits ,read each others face expressions and with efforts ,time and tolerance ,and the knowledge of a few basic words... it should be working
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Will you continue and hope they learn more of your language?
Will you learn theirs?
Will you continue with the relationship even though there are limits to how much and what you can talk about?
I ask because my girlfriend was married to a man from another country. They lived in her country. In 10 years, he didn't learn anything beyond what he knew when they met and that wasn't much. (I know the guy and he speaks and understands very little). Ergo, he never got a decent job and their communication was tedious. In the end, they divorced because of several issues.
So how important is it to you to be able to communicate with another person and does it matter to you if there are some topics that you simply cannot talk about? ... and again, how willing are you to learn their language to make things work?